The Next Three Meetings with my Master - Ex Sub's memoir

[SirMasterDaddy-Dom]

Okay so the last three meetings I don’t really know where to start. Every time I go to meet Sir, I feel very nervous yet excited about what’s going to happen. dressing up I find a little bit difficult especially when leaving house but don’t get me wrong I do also enjoy it and once I arrive, I forgot all about it.

Time before last I think is one of the hardest, sir wanted to go out for a drink and I was just not comfortable in going out in the red lace dress, it was so long and see through, I could see when I said I didn’t want to go the disappointment on sirs face and really not wanting to go out dressed like this was so tough as I don’t want to disappoint sir but I think he understood although disappointed, I thought I was going to be punished for this. There are some things that as much as I would like to do I just can’t because I can’t put my career at risk. If I wasn’t doing the job, I have now then I would be much more open to trying things in public. So, every time I arrive and I go upstairs I think my thoughts and worries about being seen by people that live there and what they might think as I’m sure they can hear the noise, especially when I am getting my ass spanked but at the end of the day, I don’t mind that. When the door opens my eyes look around the room, taking in what toys are on display and taking in what the night that holds for me. My heart sinks every time I see the vibrating Toy on the table, it’s probably the only thing that I love and hate at the same time. It can feel so good and make me want to cum so fast and makes my little kitty dripping wet like I have never known before but it also can be far too much for me to handle. Butt plugs are no issue as sir is so gentle when he inserts them, whips still scare me but yet to date I have not hated anything. There have been times that I have contemplated using a safe word but I trust sir and want to continue as much as I can. I won’t learn if I use the safe words at every point I am scared.

Tied face into the door, arms up high in my red lace dress and high heals, legs spread apart slowly being kissed all over, stroked was sexual and relaxing making me feel comforted and wanted although the heals did hurt my ankles after a while and became a distraction but being lead into almost a false sense of security as out came the whip, the *** at each smack against my arse, ***ful yet something about the sound that makes me want to continue and also a feeling that sir enjoys whipping me and making my behind red also wants me to carry on. I slightly like having my arse made red too. The cane was ***ful and I know that sir was being gentle this time just showing me what could potentially be down the line. Ripping off my thong was so hot. It was like you just wanted to take me, penetrate me and anything that stands in between will get destroyed. I do have a fantasy although I know I have been trying to be good, but part of me wants to be really bad so you will punish me and me like a bad girl to put me in my place. So finally, now there Is no more red kitty meaning we can have uninterrupted play time without any embarrassing points.

I love being told what to do and how sir wants me, when he wants me and everything in between!

When sir ties me up, I am blindfolded but can hear him preparing the string, it makes me tingle inside. He is so gentle and precise when wrapping the string round my wrists, my waist making a harness that he can pull me around with! I love the control and the power, being thrown and pushed around makes me weak inside and my pussy wet. The mix of carefulness, gentle touching yet handing complete power over is so sexual. I wonder what he is thinking as he ties me up, it’s intriguing but I will never know. Being bent over the bed like a naughty girl and spanked makes me so horny, wanting to be fucked hard and slow, in my pussy and my ass. Sir chooses which hole and goes where ever he wants and I don’t care, harder the better! There was definitely hard fucking this time, hard and deep and fast. The deeper the better and having my hair pulled back and my tits grabbed as I am bent over the bed, feeling the bed move under the *** of being fucked from behind! Pushing back to try and make the impact harder although this can be tough while my hair is being pulled back so tightly. Being told to lay on my back with my ankles held up high makes a deeper and harder fuck and also gives me the opportunity to look into those big brown eyes and checking out the body of my master who to me is just perfect and you can see the outline of the muscles across his chest whilst he is pounding me, not knowing where to touch him and if I can grab him at times trying little things to see what reaction I get, wanting to grab him and just squeeze and never let him stop. I touched and played with myself a few times to see what the reaction was as this is something that I like to do, putting on a little show for my Master.

Definitely more anal is required but after the other night I was worn to say the least and definitely felt the ***, feeling fucked was an understatement but I enjoyed every moment of it and can’t wait now to do it again! The more I think about it the more I want it! I want sir to cum in my ass or over it, whichever he pleases, the thought makes me want to touch myself.

We also had the collar and lead, this was strange, I like the collar round my neck. I guess it goes back to being owned and loss of power but having my wrists clipped too if felt unnatural but I can see why it’s done. Now after sir enjoying my crawling the other night maybe some collar and crawling fun could be in store.

Sucking sirs cock is something I love to do and serving him, making him hard, and earning Sir's touch, his kisses, cuddles, and cock as a reward is such a satisfying feeling. Feeling him grow in my mouth getting bigger and bigger until I can barely fit it in, still needing some improvement on how deep I can take it all and also the recovery time after each gagging session but I love how the gagging excites me especially when sir grabs my head and pushes it down on his cock. Licking and sucking his balls and licking along his cock, starting from the balls and working my way up to the top.

So, after a night of pleasure and some amazing anal I then upset sir by refusing to do something which I agreed to. I didn’t know at this point if I should leave, maybe that was it. Sir may not want me anymore and could find someone that will do this as he commands but he didn’t want me to leave and as he was tired, I was not punished but I hope he can understand me.

I am starting to learn that being punished is not what I want, no doubt it will happen at some point. I like to test my levels but never want to have a full-blown punishment. I much want to please my master and make him happy and in return he makes me feel special and one day maybe gives me affection. The words “good kitty” and “pretty kitty” seem to be what I crave and when I hear these words I tingle inside. I want to be his sub, the special one, the only one. I want to earn my collar and be his permanently, when I am with him, I don’t want to leave and now having also ventured outside to the bar, mall and cafe makes me want more. Oh, and the little drive in the woods that was just off the road where Sir took me and pushed me against a tree with darkness all around, cars passing by on the road and then took me from behind roughly was unbelievable. Something to cover in next chapter but I want to do more outdoor stuff, the feeling of danger and excitement is so arousing.