"Likes"....

[Firefox_]

I personally don't 'like' as many male pics on the basis of it looking like an invitation to a parts party lol and thats only because of previous assumptions. So my likes tend to be hard to give unless I'm generally interested in possibly chatting.

[Deleted Member]

It seems to me you'd need a data analyst and an anthropological psychologist to answer that question. This does bring to mind the studies on perception of one's physical appearance across genders. Strictly casual observation leads me to believe that penis-bearing male identifying humans lean toward assuming their body will be desired and post pictures somewhat indiscriminately whereas female identifying humans will be more self-critical and thus more selective about what they post. So there may be a content factor. Another armchair thought, cis males may tend to "seed the fields more" by liking the pictures of many attractive people at once. I'm not sure if a lot of cis females do this. For myself, I just don't see that many dude pics I'm into. I also find if I like a woman's picture that's the end of it. Like a single dude's picture, I usually win stupid prizes.

[Mz****]

34 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

Well I thought it meant a woman who is not stunning but also not ugly. But you're right. It's in the eye of the beholder. I've had men call me things that I cannot see when I look in the mirror and quite frankly I think it's because they want sex. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So I shall happily place myself mid-range.

I think on balance you're probably right, looks being the "measured commodity" rather than anything else here.

I've already put myself in the plain and ordinary category I'm very open about that, so I'm Definitely in the low range..which oddly, is kinda comfortable, no unrealistic expectations and hopefully, no misrepresentation 😊

[Je****]

Oh my this has been a read, until I ended skimming some comments towards the end so forgive me if I repeat what someone else has said...

 

Firstly I picked "mid range" out also wondering what the heck that means.. not sure I wanna know.. (Eeek)

 

In response to KinkySirs 'anonymous like' suggestion, I am intrigued by that, but also not sure if it is ultimately defeating the purpose of this site. Yes if it's a chosen tab to switch on and off it can be useful but I don't know personally how I would feel if I was getting 'likes' on all or any of my pics and i couldn't see who they are from. I'd be wondering who was appreciating my photos and it could well be a missed opportunity? But then again perhaps that person doesn't want to show anything but appreciation for the pic, not wanting to persue anything for example. I guess I like to see who 'likes' my content and visits my profile. 

 

On my personal side of things, I have seen some wonderful photos that were just that. Me appreciating that person's photo skills or content, which doesn't mean I want to actively seek anything from this person. I have found, like other women in this thread, that if I 'like' anything on someone's profile they automatically end up in my inbox. This, I do not appreciate. Just because I have 'liked' something, does not necessarily mean I am asking to be inboxed or propositioned. (Which has happened). I find I refrain from liking photos of anyone, regardless of gender now incase they get the wrong idea. I would only like photos of those I genuinely find attractive to me and wouldn't mind if they ended up inboxing. 

There are more men than women on here, and I am personally someone who appreicates a photo regardless if they are male or female. I get the point someone made above that men don't seem to 'like' as many other guys photos as they do the ladies, which is sad. I think everyone should boost each other more and not just those they want a chance with. But sadly this cannot be done without someone getting the wrong idea, on either side of the scale. 

 

I've personally seen comments made before in the Lobby of guys who say "Oh someone's liked my photos, my lucks in!". As well as seeing someone women say "Oh a creepy guy has went through all my pictures and 'liked' them."

I feel honestly, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[Deleted Member]

I tend to only like pictures where there has been effort put in, such as outfit and accessories. And it has to be fetish related, as this is a fetish site after all. I Won't just scroll down the list and like every picture.

I get a few likes myself and yes it is more from male than female. But I don't put a picture up for likes, I put it up to display my fetish. It is more about trying to find others who are interested in the same thing

Edited July 16, 2021 by Deleted Member
Spelling

[Je****]

1 minute ago, Chiana said:

I tend to only like pictures, where there has been effort put in, such as outfit and accessories. And it has to be fetish related, as this is a fetish site after all. I Won't just scroll down the list and like every picture.

I get a few likes myself and yes it is more from male than female. But I don't put a picture up for likes, I put it up to display my fetish. It is more about trying to find others who are interested in the same thing

This being said a lot of my own personal photos are of myself in different outfits and poses, it's what I like and how I feel I can achieve feeling good and eventually I'll be able to have all the outfits, materials and equipment to portray who I am and how I feel in this world. I very much envy those already there. But because mine are not all about fetish stuff, does not mean I am not into it. My main aim and goal is to become an erotic photographer. So this is almost me practising in sorts haha.

 

But the good point you make is 'fetish related' photos. I do NOT 'like' dick pics. That's all they are and why are they up there?! However, dick pics that are creative and are caged, bound, dripping or in any other way incapacitated, I love to see that. Another reason why I do not like certain pictures I guess.

[Deleted Member]

For me, a photo, like the name of the person that they have chosen, are like a business card, of sorts. There are very few men, in my opinion, that have made an effort in taking their photo. Often you see untidy rooms behind the person, rubbish on the floor etc. In a way, a photo says, this is who I am. Add on top of that the guaranteed follow up message of the type ‘what’s up, sub’ and I hope that gives an idea why I personally very rarely press like . I know……tough audience 😀

[Mz****]

37 minutes ago, Chiana said:

I tend to only like pictures where there has been effort put in, such as outfit and accessories. And it has to be fetish related, as this is a fetish site after all. I Won't just scroll down the list and like every picture.

I get a few likes myself and yes it is more from male than female. But I don't put a picture up for likes, I put it up to display my fetish. It is more about trying to find others who are interested in the same thing

I've found that the majority of pictures that would interest me simply aren't available, presumably for similar reasons to my own dire collection, ie I can't get them past the approval process, so what's left is very tame or has little or no connection to kink..or, because even after all the years I've been here I still can't verify my age.. (as a 56 year old grandmother I chose to take that as a compliment 😁) ..another reason pictures aren't really part of my Fetish.com experience..glad to hear others are getting what they want though 😎

[Th****]

All of the above are as always excellent points, and I feel as a male I should add the harsh reality that we are horny little devil's and will like most anything that peeks our attention.

So as was pointed out the females are often looking form, setting and effort while we are looking at boobs n' bums.

Reality check over, let the exceptions to that rule flame 🔥 me for it. 😁

[Deleted Member]

I think someone already asked but I've seen no answer....What is a mid range woman??? And what's a high and low range woman?

I'll get a load of men looking at my profile now again because I commented. Is this the same? Am I a mid range man?

And if a woman likes my comment I promise I won't look at your profile or write to you. I'm good like that 😇

[Mz****]

2 minutes ago, Axlsub said:

I think someone already asked but I've seen no answer....What is a mid range woman??? And what's a high and low range woman?

I'll get a load of men looking at my profile now again because I commented. Is this the same? Am I a mid range man?

And if a woman likes my comment I promise I won't look at your profile or write to you. I'm good like that 😇

I only found out today that quick kink displays as a profile view, can't believe how dumb I can be about how the site works sometimes, I should have known that..but it could explain at least some of your male visitors, mine had all genders, and even peeps not looking for anything just having a explore.

[ey****]

11 hours ago, Curvykate said:

I am trying right now to speak to my kids about consent. What we see here is what exists in the wider world. Misogyny. Society needs to change.

i could go way off topic - but - I think many folk currently into kink are having conversations with kids about consent and boundaries that our parents didn't give us (or their parents didnt give them) and there's assorted reasons why I won;t go into any 'clash of generations' but there is a lot needs to change down the line 

[ey****]

9 hours ago, DuchessFeuille said:

I would say it’s good argument for (usually) men to change their behaviour, not for (usually) women to have to find ways to protect themselves. Where have I heard that before? 🤔

and thus, as it was, and thus as it's been

 

[Cu****]

I simply wont like an unknown male's pictures because of the amount of times they misinterpret this as me wanting to be dtf.

[Deleted Member]

35 minutes ago, Curvygirl1 said:

I simply wont like an unknown male's pictures because of the amount of times they misinterpret this as me wanting to be dtf.

Haha "DTF!" Haven't heared that one for years.

[Deleted Member]

9 hours ago, Thebian said:

All of the above are as always excellent points, and I feel as a male I should add the harsh reality that we are horny little devil's and will like most anything that peeks our attention.

 

Nail on the head, some of us are like dogs on heat at any attention, even if it's perfectly innocent. We perceive that interest, wrongly, as an introduction, and a definite possibility for future interactions, again wrongly, in the main. "She must like me, I'm in there" and it seems most ladies understand this, from the comments on this thread 😊

[qu****]

Regarding the quick kink feature I have questioned whether it's right for this site, it's usually more associated with the literal hook-up sites, and should only show up if it has to be here as, as, as a quick kink like not a profile
view, just hope it doesn't go as far as other sites where on liking someone a lame ice breaker message is sent, sorry for digressing but I do feel it's linked to liking photos ☺️

[qu****]

On that note if you've decided to like a profile (well spank) after reading it do you really have to be redirected to the quick kink page, two separate things...

[Deleted Member]

8 hours ago, MzJax said:

I only found out today that quick kink displays as a profile view, can't believe how dumb I can be about how the site works sometimes, I should have known that..but it could explain at least some of your male visitors, mine had all genders, and even peeps not looking for anything just having a explore.

I'm non the wiser. So I just shrug and move on to reading and commenting. Your not dumb. Each site operates differently. It's like driving a car. They all do the same job but the buttons and things and stuff are in different places and work differently. Some have things that others don't have but eventually you get to know your way around it. 

[Ae****]

My two cents:

I think the dynamic is an extension of the *general* dynamic between men and women: men approach women; women get approached. This also accounts for the "mid range" situation you're observing. Supply and demand. Also, more men than women being on this site would increase that effect.

Regarding unwelcome messages, women, as stated, *generally* don't approach men. Any attention, for a man, is at least a possibility (not a certainty) of a woman saying she'd like to make a connection. So men say Hi, or whatever, to find out. Some with more skill than others, and some, even if they're seen as clumsy by some women, well I'm guessing that some women actually respond to that very same tone/style. Different strokes, different folks.

Any men who never try to make connections will see way fewer connections than men who do. Don't shoot, don't score. You can *generally* afford to wait for partners to say Hi if you're a woman, not so much if you're a man.

In short, it's due to the differences between the sexes expressed within our culture - which themselves are caused by biological differences and the way those differences have affected and manifested in social dynamics across the millennia.

So, if all of the above is all true or at least sounds possible to anyone... maybe don't feel too annoyed with unwanted messages from men - they are one side of a coin that's not much fun, but the other side has a lot of aspects to it that women enjoy and benefit from.

[Je****]

3 hours ago, quietlysure said:

On that note if you've decided to like a profile (well spank) after reading it do you really have to be redirected to the quick kink page, two separate things...

I was going to comment about the 'quick kink' feature too. As someone else said above, if you actually N or Y a person it does show as a profile view!! I scrolled through it once to see what it was. (I had no interest in seeking, but it's still great to explore the site) I got fed up with it as it felt tooooooo 'dating site-ish' and after an hour I had a load of messages from some of the people I had scrolled past.

I was wondering what the heck was going on. After a good few more messages appeared, I decided to go digging and that's when I discovered a profile view on their account I didn't recall making. It was the kink feature. So for that reason I do not use it. PLUS for me, if I were to seek someone I want to know their likes, interests, kinks and such. The quick kink feature, is basically a rate my appearance/profile picture kind of thing which I don't like. But then again I am a profile reader and that's the first impression to someone, when they write about themselves. I look at pics after if something matches up elsewhere. 

But yes, to the point. The kink feature I agree is a bit odd here. I like the site as it is but I guess for those who want a general physical hook up it may benefit to them, so at least they are possibly reaching every audience.

 

Edit: I also agree on the wonder that is 'spanking' someone to then be booted off their page. Why?! If I want to spank someone it is due to enjoying what I've read and im usually on my way to look through their pics or send a message. I don't need to be thrown back to the 'quick kink' page if I've literally just spanked someone I thought was nice haha. It is definately an odd one being taken out of profile after a 'spank', perhaps it's to boost views so you go back to that profile out of frustration? No clue hahah

Edited July 17, 2021 by JenniferTP

[qu****]

As for when you like (spank) someone's profile why on earth do you need a condescending pop-up message saying woo go you you've sent a spank, check out these photos and send more, ( that's more or less what it says),

[Mz****]

3 hours ago, Aeonova said:

My two cents:

I think the dynamic is an extension of the *general* dynamic between men and women: men approach women; women get approached. This also accounts for the "mid range" situation you're observing. Supply and demand. Also, more men than women being on this site would increase that effect.

Regarding unwelcome messages, women, as stated, *generally* don't approach men. Any attention, for a man, is at least a possibility (not a certainty) of a woman saying she'd like to make a connection. So men say Hi, or whatever, to find out. Some with more skill than others, and some, even if they're seen as clumsy by some women, well I'm guessing that some women actually respond to that very same tone/style. Different strokes, different folks.

Any men who never try to make connections will see way fewer connections than men who do. Don't shoot, don't score. You can *generally* afford to wait for partners to say Hi if you're a woman, not so much if you're a man.

In short, it's due to the differences between the sexes expressed within our culture - which themselves are caused by biological differences and the way those differences have affected and manifested in social dynamics across the millennia.

So, if all of the above is all true or at least sounds possible to anyone... maybe don't feel too annoyed with unwanted messages from men - they are one side of a coin that's not much fun, but the other side has a lot of aspects to it that women enjoy and benefit from.

So because its always been that way it must always be that way? You are entitled to your opinion and perspective, but I am fed up of men telling me how to behave, what to do or how to do it, and most of all I'm sick of men telling me how to feel about how I'm treated.

I'm sick of the biology and psychology of the sexes being an excuse for bad behaviour, the vast majority don't behave badly, they are exposed to the same cultural and societial influences, as well as the biological differences you mention, and are still decent human beings. We no longer live in the past, it can and should be learned from, but it is not a template for the future.

Bad behaviour won't stop until people stop making excuses for it and start calling it out and actioning it.

"unwanted messages from men - they are one side of a coin that's not much fun, but the other side has a lot of aspects to it that women enjoy and benefit from" 

That should read some women enjoy and benefit from, and some women loathe and do not benefit from in any way shape or form.. but must tolerate because ..oh yeah..they're female.

[Deleted Member]

20 hours ago, Chiana said:

I tend to only like pictures where there has been effort put in, such as outfit and accessories. And it has to be fetish related, as this is a fetish site after all. I Won't just scroll down the list and like every picture.

I get a few likes myself and yes it is more from male than female. But I don't put a picture up for likes, I put it up to display my fetish. It is more about trying to find others who are interested in the same thing

I think that's the trouble with photos often - the motivation for posting is often misinterpreted. I don't put a photo on for likes either. It's because I'm feeling good about myself. It's not to attract someone.

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, Aeonova said:

My two cents:

I think the dynamic is an extension of the *general* dynamic between men and women: men approach women; women get approached. This also accounts for the "mid range" situation you're observing. Supply and demand. Also, more men than women being on this site would increase that effect.

Regarding unwelcome messages, women, as stated, *generally* don't approach men. Any attention, for a man, is at least a possibility (not a certainty) of a woman saying she'd like to make a connection. So men say Hi, or whatever, to find out. Some with more skill than others, and some, even if they're seen as clumsy by some women, well I'm guessing that some women actually respond to that very same tone/style. Different strokes, different folks.

Any men who never try to make connections will see way fewer connections than men who do. Don't shoot, don't score. You can *generally* afford to wait for partners to say Hi if you're a woman, not so much if you're a man.

In short, it's due to the differences between the sexes expressed within our culture - which themselves are caused by biological differences and the way those differences have affected and manifested in social dynamics across the millennia.

So, if all of the above is all true or at least sounds possible to anyone... maybe don't feel too annoyed with unwanted messages from men - they are one side of a coin that's not much fun, but the other side has a lot of aspects to it that women enjoy and benefit from.

"Don't feel too annoyed with unwanted messages from men". Hmm. If 100% of the messages I receive from men were polite and treated me like a person and showed some sign that they'd read my profile - sure! That would be lovely. I've reported 3 guys for asking me to cut their dick off. Can't see the benefit. 🤷🏻‍♀️