Sub vs Slave what’s the difference ?

[ki****]

So what is the difference between being a slave and being a submissive?

Is there a difference at all or is it just in the name? Can you be both?

[Lu****]

Actually to me
It’s just f**ken the same

[Deleted Member]

To me, a slave gives up total control and allows their master to own them. I am not a slave. I chose to relinquish control, but I still belong to myself. I don't do it 24/7, tho I do like elements like rules that apply all the time (eg a good morning message, or asking to self play).

[Deleted Member]

There is a world of difference between these titles
A slave is someone who chooses to relinquish total control to their master, to be used totally for his pleasure and at his whim with little respect for their limits and boundaries and is not an equal
A submissive on the other hand is an equal, who allows a Dom to do as they wish with in the submissives pre set limits and certainly someone who the Dom respects enough to provide aftercare and support to.
I would say there are very few slaves in this life nowadays

[Deleted Member]

A submissive has choice a slave gives up all choice .

[Deleted Member]

I think you can be both, yes. As stated, a slave gives complete control, but then I suppose so do some subs during play so if you feel like both then that’s ok too. Labels are just labels.. my only concern with the slave label is it could cross the boundaries line. Aslong as you communicate exactly what you do and don’t want and your Dom respects that. Call yourself whatever you feel comfortable with 💙

[ey****]

People often have their own boundaries of where one line ends and the other begin

A lot of terms to the right-of-the-slash : sub, slave, masochist, bottom - etc - often get interchanged and there are subtle differences

let us say the Dominant is brandishing a new cane and they want to test it out on their partner. Their partner doesn't like caning.

A sub may still go through with the caning to help their Dominant be satisfied, even though they don't enjoy it.  But they also might say no or ask to defer if they're not in the mood

A slave would take the caning whether they enjoy it, are in the mood, or not

A masochist might ask for the caning to be hard, even though they don't like the cane they like the ***

A bottom might decline and ask to do something they (both) enjoy instead

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So in some ways a sub might just 'do it for their Dominant' just as a slave might 'have to'

But, I think moreso that a slave is more "Lifestyle CNC" they still ultimately consent to not consenting perhaps all of the time rather than individual scenes - however, this is still important it's overall a relationship they enjoy.

If every morning the cane was brought down and they were lashed despite not enjoying it - there has to be some other form of enjoyment in it and some form of overall 'out'.   If you can't walk from a relationship or scenario it's getting into *** territory.

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Some people aspire to be slaves, like it's some form off hallmark - but - it's important that their view on what this looks like matches their partners.

Likewise, there's an awful lot of - usually Male - Dominants who are specifically looking for a slave and that often sets off flags as it often translates to - well - "I want someone to cook, clean, suck my c*ck on command, etc" rather than "I want to build a relationship with someone we can both enjoy" 

[Deleted Member]

It’s about choice of limits. A submissive will set her/his limits and Master will set the limits of a slave thus it becomes a total power exchange. Not to be confused with just a Power exchange. There is a different mindset requirement for a slave and a submissive but the commitment required by a True Master it totally different not just some honorific that someone has chosen because they like it. Where your kinky a Dom or Master the mindset is different you can be anything you want but too many claim to be something they are not and that’s a dangerous place must mostly down to lack of understanding. That goes for both side of the slash. Understand what you want then go out and educate yourself if you can’t do that then good luck .

[Deleted Member]

Look in antiquity. A slave was bought and kept, and had no choice. The Master completely determined the life of his slave. This is no different in an M/s. A slave is kept, and has no choice. A sub voluntarily submits to the Dom(me), and unlike a slave, has his own choices and can negotiate.

[qu****]

Slaves still have to have hard limits accepted, and usually a master will see a potential slave for a long while getting to know them discussing any limits etc, it isn't a case of you're a slave do as you're told with immediate effect, the masters and true slaves I've chatted with have all said it takes a long time building up trust and respect, and yes even love, before committing to anybody

[ki****]

It’s just a mind field, different people have very different ideas on their interpretation of terms, not just sub/slave but other terms. You really have to be very clear in what you want and what you own version of a term means. Communication is so important.

[ey****]

59 minutes ago, essexsub4dom said:

It’s just a mind field, different people have very different ideas on their interpretation of terms, not just sub/slave but other terms. You really have to be very clear in what you want and what you own version of a term means. Communication is so important.

Ultimately - this is very much it.  "I want to be a slave" or "I want a slave" can mean very different people from one person to the next.  It is really important everyone is on the same page.

[Deleted Member]

Names labels names labels. Some hold them dear, some don't. It all depends on what's best for each couple. There is no rule book to develop any relationship. 

I like being called slave. It's more symbolic of the dynamic. But I could never give up total control of everything. Maybe I could over a very long time as trust grows. 

But yes, as others say, communication, respect and love is paramount in any kind of relationship for me.

[ve****]

To me a slave is to serve practically in ways a sub is to subjected to mental , physical , financial , *** etc - there’s massive crossovers but some aspects of sub don’t apply to enslavement. Can’t really financially dominate somieone who don’t earn.

[Deleted Member]

In any way that it's up to the people involved. Submissive vs Slave terminology is actually a question I have heard before. What it boils down to, for me anyway, is the intent. If my Sub expresses intrest in being more "owned" or "claimed" I always ask what that means to them. I have had one say she wanted to be treated like property. We had fun with and enjoyed the complexity of the added dynamic but in the end it was up to us.

[Deleted Member]

I think it depends on the person or people involved. If no clear defining line exists then its just a matter of personal preference and opinion. In my opinion the difference is simply how much control and freedom your willing to give to the Dominant. Though there should still be rules and standards followed, I think a slave basically has no choice, no freedoms, no control. I think slavery delves down even further then just being a sub. They're willing to give all with little to no limits. Thats just what it should mean to serve as a slave. Complete and total submission. How many are really willing to let it go that far? A slave is a rare treat I dare say. Why go so far when just submitting is good enough?

[Kriss123]

I think a sub would win in a fight . Should be Tekken characters for sure

[Deleted Member]

A submissive has choices but a slave has fully surrendered themselves to their Master.

[Deleted Member]

In theory there's difference, in reality its up to the people involved. For example in the past Sub said she wanted to feel more owned, more like property, so we talked about what that meant to her. I have had conversations with other women and men that are or have been Subs or Slaves and they all said its been different with different Doms/Masters. So to me its Symantec.

[4e****]

A submissive is something you turn off and on and you do have choices and independence. A slave is more intense. You give up your rights to make choices and your independence/freedom persay. You do what your master wants when he wants it. You will not be allowed any sexual freedom with others unless permitted. It's not for everyone