New needing guidance

[Deleted Member]

Not sure where i sit really just that i do know i like some things but am curious about others .need help and advice .

[MistressLagertha]

Tell me more about what you already know you like - it shouldn’t shock anyone here, as everyone is here for the same reason BDSM ... well those who take it seriously anyway. 

I can’t post any links to anything to help you figure it out, so DM me if you would like to know more. 

[Deleted Member]

Ive found this site very disappointing so far a lot of people pretending to  be something they are not a lot of people talking a good fight but then moving on after a day or so and not talking again .same as dating sites spoiled by people looking for excitement and attention  

[ey****]

ok - you have sent out 571 messages and received 328.  Today alone you've sent out 60 odd and received 30 back.  And you've been on here, what? a week?

so firstly this screams that you're just mass contacting people - and many find this off-putting

also if people are not messaging you back, have they even been online?  

are you being as vague as you are in some of the forums - although Mistress Lagertha did invite you to PM her, the question above was one also worth answering publicly (i.e. on this thread) so others could chip in.

There are lots of people happy to help but nobody owes you help.  Putting things out on the floor is more likely to get responses.  When you contact someone privately for guidance, you're taking up their time and really, they don't get anything in return.  

[Deleted Member]

On 15/04/2018 at 6:47 AM, MistressLagertha said:

Tell me more about what you already know you like - it shouldn’t shock anyone here, as everyone is here for the same reason BDSM ... well those who take it seriously anyway. 

I can’t post any links to anything to help you figure it out, so DM me if you would like to know more. 

That’s the problem with this site. There are some fantastic resources out there - but without posting links - you can say they exist but can’t share that knowledge to the wider audience (and no, dozens of private messages for one link is not a decent answer). 

It’s such a shame, and why tumblr blogs etc are a lot better when it comes to being a funnel for resource links

For quite a few years I’ve collected links to good articles, blogs, websites and opinion pieces surrounding different bdsm topics - just can’t use them here. What a waste. 

 

Heels 👠👠

[ey****]

yeah, the "no external links" rule is probably the thing I dislike most on this site.

There are some great articles on here, but then there are some good ones off site - aaaand - I think it's healthy to get info from a variety of sources.  

[MistressLagertha]

For anyone new, links to information from different sources is essential. Even if it’s just a link to the right books to buy, or the specialist websites that people have put together with mountains of information. 

By the way my offer to accept a private message, was so I can share those links. Though I’d much rather post publicly to benefit everyone. The facility to post links is there, but for some STUPID reason it’s not allowed - you get your posts deleted and your account blocked wtf!

[ey****]

yeah, that's what I found - when I was new-ish I put a bunch of links in and then because I'd done it on 3 threads, that got me 3 strikes and a ban!  Harsh.  I think either external links should be allowed within reason - or - the function disabled from the toolbar.

[MistressLagertha]

This website can NEVER be the only definitive source of information, no one site can ever expect to be that. 

While on the subject of random stupidity on here, anybody else get emails in German from the site?

[ey****]

yeah, now and then the mails are in German.

[Deleted Member]

I hear your frustrations about posting external links , I'll pass them on. I know it's something many users have issues with. 

[Domybidding]

Why dont the people unhappy with how things are simply move on and start their own site.

[ey****]

if you're referring to the inability to post external links.... it's hardly a burning issue to flounce off and go build a new site.

if you're referring to "everyone here is fake except me" then... well... quite