Worrying Conversation with a Friend

[TiberiusSicae]

I have to post this as I'm really quite ***ed off and upset! I have a friend who believes he's got a rigger kink. I'm not saying he hasn't and am remaining non-judgemental towards that. However, to be a good rigger I have learned one important thing - there's always someone who you can learn from and you do not know everything. Learning is part of what makes my rigger kink exciting; methods, styles, combining elements, being creative, making art... There's a huge list.

Having a conversation like this however scared me. It's not SSC and is ***y dangerous imho.

Him: Ill improvise, I'm good with knots and shift

Me: Don't improvise it's dangerous. Watch Rory on YouTube (good start for beginners)

Him: Well I have rope and I do know what I'm doing. I know my knots. Highway man's hitch, Simple to use and quick release.

Me: It's not about knots it's about the human body. Your choice but that's not fully SSC. I was going to give you a link. A good rigger knows they can still learn.

Him: We're not doing extreme shit. She just wants me to bind her hands and legs.

Me: And that's two possible dangerous areas. Question, where in legs should you not bind? How much slack should you have? What is a munter? (Threw the last one in as a "test")

Him: I'm banding the legs apart at the ankles and the wrists above the head I will mention she did do gymnastics. Also a munter is someone who is ugly as fuck .

Me: Gymnastics is irrelevant. The body has an internal structure that is vital to know. I've realised I was just clever enough to realise I know nothing in comparison to others. I'm constantly learning and practicing, not on others but myself and inanimate objects.

Him: I've done shit like this before.


None so blind as those that refuse to see 😞

Edited August 6, 2021 by TiberiusSicae
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[SophieSubSlut11]

It’s ***ful to read and must have been ***ful to have the chat. Which is why all we can do is empower submissive’s to do their own research and vet people properly so that hopefully nobody ends up in hands of people like this who think ‘winging it’ is a good idea. I must say ‘do your research’ to newbies about 8 times a day haha. Good on your for trying to make a difference though!!

[TiberiusSicae]

6 minutes ago, SophieSlut11 said:

It’s ***ful to read and must have been ***ful to have the chat. Which is why all we can do is empower submissive’s to do their own research and vet people properly so that hopefully nobody ends up in hands of people like this who think ‘winging it’ is a good idea. I must say ‘do your research’ to newbies about 8 times a day haha. Good on your for trying to make a difference though!!

I'm hoping that his partner doesn't get hurt in any way, no matter how minor.  Thank you for your reply, it really does help to know that my "***s" are not unjustified.  Hopefully I'll be responding to this in a positive light when I find out the outcome.  I've sent him a list of videos and a couple of great YouTube channels - I can but hope that what I have said sinks in and he takes the time to watch at least one.

[Mo****]

As someone on the outside, all you can do is encourage education and emphasize safety. You definitely have a reason to feel worried like you do and concern for his partner. I agree with @SophieSlut11 . Definitely need to make sure subs are well informed and know how to stay safe and make sure their partner is safe and what they want.

[TiberiusSicae]

41 minutes ago, MorganJack said:

As someone on the outside, all you can do is encourage education and emphasize safety. You definitely have a reason to feel worried like you do and concern for his partner. I agree with @SophieSlut11 . Definitely need to make sure subs are well informed and know how to stay safe and make sure their partner is safe and what they want.

I have no contact options with his partner though.  I really wish I did and then I'd be able to tackle it from the other side and hopefully make them see that although something they may want comes with the requirement of knowledge and safety.  She's simply said "tie me up and fuck me" from what I gather and he's then had this conversation with me.  I've sent him pictures of my "work" and where to learn that specifically from but I'm betting if I checked his browser history he won't have (not that I can obviously).

[Sir-Taz]

Let's hope he learns before the damage is done .

[Deleted Member]

Oh wow 

[TiberiusSicae]

8 minutes ago, Tazzaby said:

Let's hope he learns before the damage is done .

I'll quite happily be his "model" so I can guide him properly.  Although videos are great there's no real substitute for like tuition I have found.  I'm not saying I'm an expert btw - but obviously miles ahead of him in attitude alone.

Edited August 6, 2021 by TiberiusSicae
Additional text.

[TiberiusSicae]

I'd just like to add; thank you for so much support in this.  I really do now feel that I have tried my best and can only await the outcome.  It has been very cathartic to not only get this out and relieve my emotions and opinions but also to feel that I have tried my best and I am not the only one who has experienced this.  I have not spoken to any of you before and feel welcomed by your responses.

 

Warmest regards to you all.

[Th****]

There is a proverb that fits this: "There is none so blind as those who won't see.".. We may need to add and infuriating fuckwits.

You tried mate.

[Deleted Member]

On a seperate note. Just like to say thank you Sir. For pointing me in the direction of reading some books and what to check up on.  Thus to help build a better me. 🙏  respected.

[Cu****]

Wow!

Ahhh watsa munter?

[TiberiusSicae]

2 hours ago, Curvygirl1 said:

Wow!

Ahhh watsa munter?

It's a type of knot.  Used in climbing for repelling but also can be used in Shibari.

[Cu****]

22 hours ago, TiberiusSicae said:

It's a type of knot.  Used in climbing for repelling but also can be used in Shibari.

Ohhh.. over here, ive only heard 'get munted' which is pretty close to go eff off'

[lolli-leigh]

Well done you for attempting to inform him.If he doesn't want to learn then more fool him. we can't control others of they don't want to learn unfortunately