"Lifestyle"

[Phoenyx]

"Lifestyle" is a term that I have seen thrown-about considerably, in the BDSM realm.  So, I thought that it might make an interesting discussion topic.  For example, a lot of folks claim to be "lifestyle Doms or Dommes".  What characteristics do you associate with a lifestyle Dom/me?  What qualifies one as a lifestyle Dom/me?  etc...

Of course, this is not limited to the "D-types".  This is just a general discussion of the term, "Lifestyle", as it applies to BDSM.  Plus, there are no right or wrong answers.  I am certain that the opinions vary widely.  Still, let's try to keep the judgementalism to a minimum, and have fun.

[Deleted Member]

I think it is more a concept than a tangible thing. Back in the day (yes I know, yawn) there were a lot more protocols, manners and decorum, and the idea of a "Lifestyle" different from the norm was embraced. Now, I ***, it has been diluted to mean anything kinky. Those that embrace the "old ways" are still about, but growing fewer by the day. I am sure there will be other interpretations, and all are valid. I only speak from My own poin of view.

[Silenthunter]

The way i see it is .. lifestyle anything means not for the *** side.

[TheBookCollector]

IMHO the term "lifestyle" is reference to living in a relationship where kink is at irs core, and does not start or end at the bedroom door. It is always present in public and private, thus it defines your lifestyle.

When in public it becomes more covert and is around the agreed boundaries that are set and.more pschological than physical.

[qu****]

Things change, progress, whether that's a good thing is something else, I don't think there was an "old school", just the way things were then. I grew up no mobiles,landline still a luxury in the home, just a phonebox up the road, then round about 2000, mobiles and computers exploded onto the scene, lifestyles changed, what I'm trying to say is lifestyles change, sure the old guard of BDSM still think theirs was the best way, the same as I feel at times we're too reliant on mobiles and computers, but on the other hand they helped many realise the lifestyle they wanted was there, in whatever form they wanted. In reality who are we to judge. ( Hope I made sense)

[allshookup]

The way i see it is .. lifestyle anything means not for the *** side.
That's how I see it as well. There is a wide variety of its meaning as I am sure we will see.

[ey****]

"Lifestyle" is often a term I think is woefully misused.

So. Lifestyle for me is anyone who is into BDSM/Kink/Fetish to pretty much any degree.  This could range from the holy grail of 247365 to "I do kink activities when I get the chance"

I think exceptions apply - so someone might say "I'm not into the lifestyle, I just really like feet" which is fair. There's probably other similar barriers.

But herein lies where it often gets misued.

A guy might post a classified saying "I am looking for a lifestyle Mistress" - and - no.  That is bad, you are going to struggle.  Hear me.

What they mean is they don't want, say, Pro Domme sessions.  Which is fair.  It ignores that actually many Pro Dommes have owned subs, or have other relationships that fit all the box this person would define as 'lifestyle'

But there might be a lady reading who is not a Pro who doesn't know if she qualifies as 'lifestyle' or not - like, what does this guy mean in his personal?  Does he want the holy grail of 247365 - cos I just can't offer that - or does he want someone who will occasionally spank him? Is he actually going to do the fucking housework (or deliberately not in order to manipulate play)? Or does he just occasionally want a Pro Domme-style session without actually paying for one?

Does this 'lifestyle' Mistress need a home dungeon? A fully stocked wardrobe? A whole bunch of toys? Where did it come from? Who bought them? Has she spent thousands of pounds in the hope there's a good sub boy wants a beating?

Or does she just need nice feet and everything else can be worked on later?

And I think it's a terms which strengths is it's problems.  It's strength is it's basically anyone into the kink/fetish/BDSM - it's weakness is it's such a broad term it's often unclear or misused.

 

 

[Deleted Member]

Being a "lifestyle Domme" sounds impressive, don't take "the title" too heavily

[Deleted Member]

This has me thinking now.

I think I can call myself a lifestyle sub. I often offer help to women who aren't in this lifestyle where I can. I'm currently giving a lift on Fridays when I don't work, to a friend who can't drive. I think she may work it out one day. I don't know. I also put the bins out for my female neighbour. Moved boxes in the corner shop for the female owner. Even offering to help female supervisors and colleagues at work. I'm always saying "after you" in shops etc. I chat to a female sub off here and call her substress. I'm helping a kinkster at the BBB today and next weekend I'm helping a pro Domme at her own event. 

If I ever get an owner I'm pretty sure most or all of that will stop. In a "lifestyle" relationship I anticipate a lot of submissive symbolism and protocols. 

Does this make me a lifestyle sub? I like to think so. 

[Deleted Member]

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