BDSM without *** and Hardcore sex

[Deston]

So, me and my girl just found out about our new common interest, To give her BDSM ('preferably with bondage and without ***') followed by Hardcore sex. But the thing is we are both new in this area. I would like a few suggestions and ideas please. 

[ey****]

BDSM and hardcore sex are two very broad categories

(actually, hardcore sex usually just means... well... sex... that it comes from hardcore and softcore and that there's a whole bunch of stuff you can't show in softcore, like erect penises or penetration)

So I think the first idea here is what areas of these are your common interests?

[Deleted Member]

I think it's a fairly common misconception that kink has to involve ***, it most definitely doesnt. It can be anything one wishes it to be, with good communication 😊

[ge****]

As eyem says that's a pretty broad scope that doesn't really tell us a great deal to be able to provide anything more than general advice - and my best advice would firstly be to communicate between you as to what really does/doesn't work for both of you, and where you would *both* like to take this.

If you're unsure or are looking for ideas I'd recommend finding one of the many on-line BDSM questionnaires that list various elements of BDSM (not the one that tells you how Dom/sub you are) and complete them independently of one another and then get together to compare notes and find common interests that you can focus on bringing into your play. For some of them you may then need to do some further reading to understand them better - for example bondage comes with various dangers if you're not careful so you need to ensure you're aware of them.

[Deleted Member]

BDSM and hardcore, that's comparing apples to oranges. Where is your common basis? Connect Bondage and Discipline (BD), or is it Sadism and Masochism (SM) that connects you. Talk to each other and explore the countless possibilities.

[Leisa]

Research is always a great place to start. Once something within the initial research foray catches your attention, do more research on that specific topic. BDSM is not all about ***. It’s more about the connection that develops. It may or may not involve ***. I think by hardcore sex you may mean rough sex? If that’s your kink then definitely research. The ultimate goal should be to enjoy yourselves as you develop the dynamics of your relationship but Rea search may help you avoid ***.

[mi****]

find out what exactly about BDSM is you like, obv it’s not Vanilla so the actually components of what BDSM stands for will need to turn you on FIRST. As it’s not necessarily “***” per se but it’s not the pleasure you’re use to in the Vanilla world.

[mi****]

Better yet! Research what each letter stands for. Try each one. Your question will be answered.