Thinking out loud...

[Deleted Member]

Hey kinksters!

So, as a sub/brat it is my main goal to submit and be the perfect sub to my owner. I love pleasing him, when he/she is happy - im happy. Here lies the issue i have - my brat side. I like to do things im not supposed to.  I talk back and roll my eyes but i dont know when too much is too much. Meaning will i make you angry to where you ignore me or do you see my intentions? I like to be put to "use" as a sub. I actually want to be punished. Yes punishments can be mundane but the excitement and attention of a punishment makes me weak (in a fantastic way). I feel like i get the best attention when im punished and it helps things stay exciting in a long distance relationship. 

I guess what im saying is... If your owner/ mistress doesnt like being ***ed off/aggravated how the heck can i get a response/punishment from my owner without taking him to that "dark place" per say? I want him to get the thrill that i do without the "anger and frustration" that comes along with a punishment. 

I feel like im a little more wild than he is and that can also get in the way of what i need from my Master. Communication is key and we both know that. If you love someone do you compromise and turn a little softer because you love them or do you "let your freak flag fly". I guess im just thinking out loud here. Signs of chronic boredom. 

 

[ey****]

I think - even aside from communication

there will be folk who like the brat side - as long as they can help with boundaries

and there will be those who either give enough attention that it doesn't necessarily come out; or, who kinda tame that side in it's own way

I think - there's often characteristics of us that can define who we are - and being in a relationship where we feel we're fighting back against these - if a compromise doesn't make you happy it might sadly not be a relationship that works 

[Ch****]

Hi there !
What you described is the whole art of dom/ sub kink. Sometimes you just need more time for the couple to find it's pace. Long distance doesn't help. Specifically for brats the dom needs to be able to observe the sub live not on a camera in order to interpret the signs and the body language. Communication wise you need to declare your desires and work on hypothetical scenarios. Redefining the mutually accepted limits can help.....

[ny****]

Long distance is the biggest problem in that scenario because let’s face it, no long distance punishment compares to even the mildest spanking. That being said, may I offer a suggestion based on experience. As a Daddy Dom who likes playful brattiness but not to the extent that you describe where buttons are pushed, I developed this system with a sub. We had a code for when she wanted punishment. For example, leaving her shoes in a spot I’d be certain to see. She conveyed her needs without topping from the bottom. It was now my choice how, when and if to create a scenario that would fulfill that for her, which I almost always did. She got her punishment needs fulfilled without having to cross the line from bratty to disrespectful.

[CopperKnob]

1. Discuss a safeword with your Dom/me to use when the bratting is becoming too much
2. Communicate your needs better, you're bratting because you have an unmet need

[Deleted Member]

Most have said it, and it really does come down to communication. You cannot assume your Dom is psychic, and misplaced brattiness because you haven't discussed your needs will lead to conflict. As @CopperKnob said...it is about that need. D/s is supposed to be symbiotic, a meeting of minds that find a mutual understanding...don't talk and express those needs and it all goes to hell in a handbasket very quickly.

[charlias]

Being too bratty "can" become domming from the bottom which "can" be problematic for the dynamic but A. Find the right partner who enjoys brat taming and B. Discuss things at length before you play.
You are obviously self aware enough to see your actions so really... I wouldn't worry about it.