Is chivalry still a thing?

[ge****]

I don't think "chivalry" in respect of being decent, considerate and respectful to others is dead - but I do think the word and its connections to days of yore perhaps is, or possibly even should be, or maybe its definition needs to be upgraded.

"Chivalry" is almost totally assumed to be a male thing and I can see why it gets confused with chauvinism, misogyny and worse as a result.

Personally I will always hold doors open, offer to help someone who appears to be struggling etc etc - and do so regardless of the gender of the other person, or whether I am attracted to them or not, but I don't consider myself being chivalrous, it's called being decent and thoughtful of others.

[charlias]

23 minutes ago, TheScribe said:

~sighs~ perhaps you should add "*** a thread for the purposes of showing how clever and knowledgeable I am" to your list of kinks? See how far that gets you? What you feel is relevant just isn't.

??? I'm not trying to hijack the thread and I don't see what my list of kinks have to to do with anything.
This is a forum isn't it? A place of discussion for ideas and thoughts?
You don't know me from atom and you say what I feel isn't relevant? And from someone who believes in chivalry ???? Dude...

[Cheveyo]

I have always been that way. Growing up a romantic with respect. However there are men who act the part to fulfill their own motives

[qu****]

Chivalry as such was a medieval notion, the man walked on the left of a woman to keep his sword free in case it was needed, plus so it didn't become entangled in her dress, and to prevent her from being splashed with dirt and detritus, primarily sewage, this also meant by her closer to a building less likelyhood of of toilet pots being emptied over her, hence the men wearing long, thick coats, protecting themselves, but what about dark alleyways and such you ask, then the man would stand on the right whilst passing, holding doors open is a throwback to similar reasons, to ensure there was no sign of danger, there are quite a few of this inherent subconscious actions that persist, I know it's not romantic as we class it, but it is a chivalrous way of behaviour

[ey****]

I feel.  I don't think that history is completely unimportant - but there's a lot that has changed over time

I think a lot that does get a little romanticised about is stuff we look at from our lifetime or prior generations 

Some for right or wrong reasons (like as something on another thread; a man might typically get the drinks in to be gentlemanly - because up until 1980 bars could/would refuse to serve women so the only way someone could have a drink was if someone went to the bar for her) 

I think like a lot of things it's something we, as a society, don't always know what to do with especially as some things thought to be chivalrous can be considered patronising.

--

For me there's often a lot within context.

Being nice to a stranger because you wanted something isn't necessarily as nice as you might feel.   Behaving chivalrous towards someone you wish to impress should, largely, continue after you've impressed them.

We're still kinda working out the internet age - if we saw someone in a bar we fancied we might offer them a drink as an icebreaker to chat; yet the concept of doing something similar to someone online seems scandalous. 

[so****]

1. Yes chivalry is still very much a thing here in the south. We still value women. Real women, I might add. I hold doors for female strangers all the time. I just did it today matter of fact. I think it's mostly a location thing. Probably not gonna happen in big blue cities, but in the south & in rural areas, yes indeed chivalry is alive & very well. 2. You may not get to see each other if you're unfortunate enough to live in one of the authoritarian areas where the overlords have decreed that human rights are no more. However, where I am & in many parts of the world, life has gone on as usual. Personally, my life hasn't changed a bit. I'm lucky to live in a pro-freedom state where liberty is still alive. Just wanted to throw that in. Both these points seem to be determined by where you live.

[qu****]

Interesting thing about American chivalry is that it's primarily based on British and European chivalric inherent traditions 😁

[TightandHard]

I still hold doors and offer my jacket/sweatshirt on a daily basis. So yes, I do believe chivalry is still a thing but not with everyone.

[Deleted Member]

Oh yes very much so. I pride myself on being the very best Old school Gentleman i can..

[BadDesires]

I'd like to think the pandemic has improved things. People used to be so lost, rushing around in there busy little bubbles. Pandemic lockdowns have seen life slow down drastically and encouraged most people to be more aware of others.

[ol****]

However we define chivalry in the modern world, even if that's just old fashioned politeness etc, it's dying on it's feet. 

Edited October 18, 2021 by oldfellow

[Th****]

Being honorable, acting like a gentleman and holding yourself to a self imposed standard of behaviour are very much alive and well here.

I think that is about as close to chivalry as you get in the modern world.

Holding doors, offering jackets should be standard behaviour.

[Ch****]

I prefer mutual respect over chivilristic behaviour. On the other hand, it can be romantic to adhere to tradition, so I do believe it has its place.

[ey****]

A lot of people mis-use the word chivalry

I looked up the code of chivalry. There's only one part in there about respecting women.  The rest of it is medieval battle etiquette.

A week ago I didn't hold a door open for a lady and she said "I guess chivalry is dead"

So.

I challenged her to physical combat.   Turns out I'm the better jouster.

Chivalry is alive. But that woman is dead.