Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Posted October 23, 2021 What does Demi-sexuality mean to YOU? Please be nice and don’t undermine each other in the comments. I’m Demi-Sexual and for me, unless I have an emotional connection to someone I can’t think of having intimate moments with someone. I find it very difficult to explain this to some people who message me thinking I’m wanting a relationship because connections are involved but in truth I want to get to the point of knowing more than what that person’s kinks or fetishes are, that’s not a connection to me. Even if it’s being good friends that’s more of a connection than trying to have intimate moments with a stranger. I’m not saying there is a right or wrong answer to this question, I just want to see people’s takes on it.
Dustykat Posted October 23, 2021 Posted October 23, 2021 It’s when you can only connect with someone you get to know in detail, but that is what we all should be doing . Depending on your kinks cause some of us need the trust before you tie someone up🧚🏻♀️
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 Your not the only one, i find it difficult to connect with people, and they think you are being off with them and normaly walk away 🙁
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 23 minutes ago, Dustykat said: It’s when you can only connect with someone you get to know in detail, but that is what we all should be doing . Depending on your kinks cause some of us need the trust before you tie someone up🧚🏻♀️ I agree 😊 but some don’t and that’s okay too, it’s their choice but lovely explanation
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 4 minutes ago, Chiana said: Your not the only one, i find it difficult to connect with people, and they think you are being off with them and normaly walk away 🙁 For me I totally understand how you feel, I would take a break and try to focus on myself if I had messages back from people stating how odd I was that I wanted a connection in order to have intimacy with someone. Wish you the best in your search 😊
Glasgowdom1991 Posted October 23, 2021 Posted October 23, 2021 I am the same I just assumed I was wierd till recently when someone said to me that they thought I was demi so I looked it up and boom life suddenly made more sense
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 Demisexuality is a form of sexuality that occurs in individuals, who usually only experience a sexual drive when they have a strong emotional bond with the partner.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 This is a new one to me. I actually strongly relate to it. You mean an emotional connection without having to be a romantic one? 🧐
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 4 minutes ago, Dragonflylover said: This is a new one to me. I actually strongly relate to it. You mean an emotional connection without having to be a romantic one? 🧐 It depends what it means to you. As I’ve said for me I need some sort of connection to that person, to get to know them not just their kinks. It doesn’t have to be romantic but I wouldn’t say it couldn’t be 😊 again it’s just my take on it.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 3 minutes ago, Pr3tty_Little said: It depends what it means to you. As I’ve said for me I need some sort of connection to that person, to get to know them not just their kinks. It doesn’t have to be romantic but I wouldn’t say it couldn’t be 😊 again it’s just my take on it. I tend to separate sexual / emotional / romantic just because it makes sense to me. And so does your definition. I can't think of being with someone if the emotional bond isn't established (I tried recently and it was 😟)
Glasgowdom1991 Posted October 23, 2021 Posted October 23, 2021 Just now, Dragonflylover said: I tend to separate sexual / emotional / romantic just because it makes sense to me. And so does your definition. I can't think of being with someone if the emotional bond isn't established (I tried recently and it was 😟) Same I am a straight male demi
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 @Dragonflylover abso blooming lutely. No one night stands and quick shags. There needs to be a connection on an emotional level
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 1 minute ago, Adraug52 said: @Dragonflylover abso blooming lutely. No one night stands and quick shags. There needs to be a connection on an emotional level You and your absolutelys 😁😚 Well why didn't you tell me I was demi months ago then? 😆
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 5 minutes ago, Dragonflylover said: You and your absolutelys 😁😚 Well why didn't you tell me I was demi months ago then? 😆 Well I didn't know it was called that then. But I think we're both Demi tbf. Sorry Pr3tty_Little - but I agree fully with your explanation. Friendship and intellectual connections are required.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 1 minute ago, Adraug52 said: Well I didn't know it was called that then. But I think we're both Demi tbf. Sorry Pr3tty_Little - but I agree fully with your explanation. Friendship and intellectual connections are required. No need to apologise & I agree 😊
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 24 minutes ago, Dragonflylover said: This is a new one to me. I actually strongly relate to it. You mean an emotional connection without having to be a romantic one? 🧐 It happens that demisexual relationships are platonic, if that's what you mean.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 1 hour ago, Pr3tty_Little said: What does Demi-sexuality mean to YOU? I’m Demi-Sexual and for me, unless I have an emotional connection to someone I can’t think of having intimate moments with someone. I find it very difficult to explain this to some people who message me thinking I’m wanting a relationship because connections are involved but in truth I want to get to the point of knowing more than what that person’s kinks or fetishes are, that’s not a connection to me. Even if it’s being good friends that’s more of a connection than trying to have intimate moments with a stranger. I’m not saying there is a right or wrong answer to this question, I just want to see people’s takes on it. Not very much into all this, but I am adamant there isn't a right or wrong answer, as you rightly put it in your post. So if anybody insinuates or, even worse, tries to make you feel your choice is the wrong one..... it is acting illegitimately! Not to say anything more... hmmm... forthcoming!! BTW in my books, and dare say for the vast majority of people, discussing my kinks with someone, as pleasant as it might be, just indicates we are starting to get acquainted! So how on earth could that person justify emotional connection! The analogy I can see is someone enquiring about a new car he wishes to buy in a car dealership. After a simple chat with the salesman jumps some critical steps like the payment and claims the vehicle he enquired about is now his property and demands to drive away with it LOL! I am curious about this demi-sexual terminology. Not sure if I am or not. All I know is I can have sex without a deep emotional connection and out of lust because a casual sex partner is very alluring and playful. However, I also recall having sex for its sake, it makes me feel empty, not fulfilled! Perhaps naively, I assumed that this is a rather typical response. What is the experience of others about this? Do you feel empty if sex is without an emotional connection?
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 15 minutes ago, KinkyDomProf said: Not very much into all this, but I am adamant there isn't a right or wrong answer, as you rightly put it in your post. So if anybody insinuates or, even worse, tries to make you feel your choice is the wrong one..... it is acting illegitimately! Not to say anything more... hmmm... forthcoming!! BTW in my books, and dare say for the vast majority of people, discussing my kinks with someone, as pleasant as it might be, just indicates we are starting to get acquainted! So how on earth could that person justify emotional connection! The analogy I can see is someone enquiring about a new car he wishes to buy in a car dealership. After a simple chat with the salesman jumps some critical steps like the payment and claims the vehicle he enquired about is now his property and demands to drive away with it LOL! I am curious about this demi-sexual terminology. Not sure if I am or not. All I know is I can have sex without a deep emotional connection and out of lust because a casual sex partner is very alluring and playful. However, I also recall having sex for its sake, it makes me feel empty, not fulfilled! Perhaps naively, I assumed that this is a rather typical response. What is the experience of others about this? Do you feel empty if sex is without an emotional connection? As I said in my post it is my take on this sexuality and I’m asking others on their take because whenever I’ve discussed this topic with friends every one of them had a different answer. I think having sex for the sake of it / if you haven’t had it in a while and you meet someone just to have sex and that’s that - To me that’s not Demi-sexual, it feels odd not even knowing anything about this person. For me I want to know that person as a friend at the very minimum (not fall in love with them) and talk to them after. I can’t do ‘casual’ sex, its meaningless to me and I struggle because naturally I care for people and get attached (again not love) so I want meaningful connections, which is why when / if I go for a play partner I explain all of this to them because a lot of people who message me just want to meet up, not even know my name, have sex and leave. No thank you 😅 I do like your take on things though it’s interesting, thank you for sharing 😊
Carnelian2 Posted October 23, 2021 Posted October 23, 2021 2 hours ago, Pr3tty_Little said: What does Demi-sexuality mean to YOU? I understand 100% what you are saying. I need to have an emotional and intellectual connection with someone. Physical attraction is not enough.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 57 minutes ago, Adraug52 said: Well I didn't know it was called that then. But I think we're both Demi tbf. Sorry Pr3tty_Little - but I agree fully with your explanation. Friendship and intellectual connections are required. I agree. Think we both are!
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 52 minutes ago, FreeUrMind said: It happens that demisexual relationships are platonic, if that's what you mean. You've defined it as sexual in a previous comment? No it's not what I meant.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 6 minutes ago, Carnelian2 said: I understand 100% what you are saying. I need to have an emotional and intellectual connection with someone. Physical attraction is not enough. Sapiosexuality is the intellectual connection with some one, demi the emotional connenction. Easy to look it up at the www
Carnelian2 Posted October 23, 2021 Posted October 23, 2021 Just now, FreeUrMind said: Sapiosexuality is the intellectual connection with some one, demi the emotional connenction. Easy to look it up at the www Well, so I am both then! - how cool is that :-)
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2021 Author Posted October 23, 2021 Im old school, you either fancy someone or you dont. Theyre either female or male end of...
Glasgowdom1991 Posted October 23, 2021 Posted October 23, 2021 Just now, ShropshireDom66 said: Im old school, you either fancy someone or you dont. Theyre either female or male end of... Absolutely not
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