DarkArts1066 Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 I am sure others here have experienced the ‘wannabe’ phenomenon…. But this mornings two really take the cake. So much so that I feel the need to share. Clown number one - I am registered on a number of different sites and apps - for different reasons. Not all my kinks and fetishes are satisfied on any one. One of my greatest pleasures is to facilitate the kinks of others - I enjoy seeing other people obtain gratification - and that includes creating roleplay scenarios for ladies and couples which are as accurate and detailed as they can possibly be. So, this morning, having posted a couple of ‘ads’ on another site, looking for a male over 70 to watch and then service a sub of mine, I receive a message from a gentleman who is 41 …… I will just let that sink in for a second. 41. Who stated that he may be ‘younger than specified’, but he feels confident that he can ‘behave in a more geriatric manner’ Yep. He actually put that. The fact that he genuinely looks younger than his 41 years doesn’t help either. Clown number two - Actually, I’ll leave Clown number two for now….. I need to digest that one myself for a while. Comments invited re: Clown number one though … has anyone else experienced this level of Darwinian stupidity ? Off to bang my head against some concrete for the rest of the morning.. DarkArts.
ey**** Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 A few years ago a friend of mine started placing ads as she was looking to have sex with someone over the age of 80. She'd pretty much dropped any other standards here - it was going to be a one-off meeting, the only pre-requisites were the gentleman had to be over the age of 80 and that this would happen near her (so if he wasn't local, he would have to sort a hotel) I think the youngest person who replied to her was 35. With many people accusing her of 'age discrimination' (part the point was she'd had sex with people of all ages, but never above 80) and I think she did get one person above 80 contact... from another continent. And, you can kinda apply the logic to a lot of stuff. There's a lot of (mostly) men who will reply to ads despite being miles away what is being looked for - and then wonder why so many of the (mostly) women feel exhausted.
Ma**** Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 I do understand ur point BUT I don’t feel like this experience was enough to get triggered like that. A simple “Thank you for your offer but we are exclusively looking for a man of the age of 70+, sorry. Have a nice day/evening whatever” would have cut it, too. This isn’t the worst the internet has brought out in people, there is more yet to come lol! Just try to be polite about it and don’t let it bring you down/upset you. It was an offer, you rejected it, move on. The man’s still a Bozo for offering it 😂🤡 Cheers
Cheekysub247 Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 Some people do seem to ignore the basics, when things are very clear in an ad or profile. They feel they know better or come up with a reason why they know better. Normally for me its younger guys who say age doesnt matter, they are into older women, they are mature for their age ect. So i can relate to this age difference in whats requested. Yes i have headaches too from walls, doors, concrete ect 😂
ge**** Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 Is ever thus on sites devoted to meeting others unfortunately - some just don't read the profile/ad, others think they'll chance their arm anyway, and some really are clowns who think they know better. As eyem says it's usually men, and whilst it would be easy to say it's because of the balance of men to women that use sites such as this, and that does come into it, although doesn't excuse it, but I'm pretty sure if the balance were the other way the vast majority of women wouldn't behave in a similar fashion. Being bisexual I've had my taste of it too, although nowhere near to the extent women get it, where despite my being clear about what I'm looking for I get messages that totally don't match it and are usually looking for a "quick fix, right now" There's not a great deal you can do about it though other than roll your eyes and click the delete button - and to an extent have to accept it comes with the territory, even though it's not right in any shape or form.
Cheveyo Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 I understand your frustration, but you say you are on multiple sites and these types are on all of them. A simple delete or block would suffice. If it upsets you this much, then maybe you need to take a break from all of these sites.
Cheekysub247 Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 I think alot of the frustration comes from the constant stream of it. I try to reply to most messages even if its a simple 'no thank you, thats not what im looking for' saying that multiple times a day does stick in the brain and i think why, please just read the profile. Im always happy to engage in conversation with someone if its kept friendly. I only block when it becomes ***.
ge**** Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 6 minutes ago, Killswitch said: I understand your frustration, but you say you are on multiple sites and these types are on all of them. A simple delete or block would suffice. If it upsets you this much, then maybe you need to take a break from all of these sites. I'm not sure the OP said he was upset by it though and even if he were why should he have to take a break when the issue is the stupidity of others? Yeah ignoring, deleting and blocking etc are all answers, but so is highlighting the issue - yes the vast majority of offenders probably won't read the post but if just one does and thinks again in future then it's a worthy post surely?
Nylon-Nellie Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 A simple no thank you and please re-read of the ad, is what I would of said.
Du**** Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 That made me laugh - thanks for sharing🤣 😂 🤣 I hope this serves as adequate evidence to those who say we (women) should “feel flattered by the attention”. Um, No, we know full well that there’s a certain sort of man who just throws it at the wall to see what sticks. Nothing flattering about that.
ol**** Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 (edited) I might have been tempted to offer my services despite being a tad younger than the desired age stated. If I can still raise a smile when I'm past 70 I'll personally be well pleased. I think you have to treat these things for what they are. Unwelcome responses that don't get near the criteria are more easily answered with a simple "Thanks, but no thanks". Part of the problem you face is that a lot of the personal ad's on this and other similar sites are misleading. Not everybody is as skilled as you in spelling out exactly what they want. In fact most people who post an ad have little idea of what they actually want IMHO. Edited November 5, 2021 by oldfellow
Deleted Member Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 3 hours ago, Cheekysub247 said: I think alot of the frustration comes from the constant stream of it. I try to reply to most messages even if its a simple 'no thank you, thats not what im looking for' saying that multiple times a day does stick in the brain and i think why, please just read the profile. Im always happy to engage in conversation with someone if its kept friendly. I only block when it becomes ***. I think a lot of people feel the same with all the female "findoms" that regularly crawl out into the open messaging asking if I wish to submit to them. I'm a dom myself so submitting is unlikely and more importantly if I wished to be in a Findon relationship with someone I would post that on my profile rather than saying I'm not seeking dozens of times a day. Some days it's that bad I feel like just blocking anyone who hasn't read my profile.
Cheekysub247 Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 Ahh yes, many of my male friends say they get messages from Dommes when they are Dom themselves, or sub guys when its clear they are looking for female subs. Some are clearly fake/scams and instant block on those, but its the genuine people messaging suggesting they are a match when its out there that they are not already on the profile, yet they message still. I do like to reply just because thats me and polite ....in most cases lol 13 minutes ago, Cuddlybear_uk said: I think a lot of people feel the same with all the female "findoms" that regularly crawl out into the open messaging asking if I wish to submit to them. I'm a dom myself so submitting is unlikely and more importantly if I wished to be in a Findon relationship with someone I would post that on my profile rather than saying I'm not seeking dozens of times a day. Some days it's that bad I feel like just blocking anyone who hasn't read my profile.
Deleted Member Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 I think some of us females get really tired of the, usually extremely young or green! Dom’s pestering us to sub for them, they can teach us a thing or two you see because they have so much experience……at 21 or at 39 when just stumbled across fet. I can see why I would jump at Such a wonderful offer…. Not. Not to forget the hostility just because I’m a Domme, although most do realise at hello whose genuine and whose not. Thankfully.
ge**** Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 31 minutes ago, Aimil2019 said: I think some of us females get really tired of the, usually extremely young or green! Dom’s pestering us to sub for them, they can teach us a thing or two you see because they have so much experience……at 21 or at 39 when just stumbled across fet. I can see why I would jump at Such a wonderful offer…. Not. Not to forget the hostility just because I’m a Domme, although most do realise at hello whose genuine and whose not. Thankfully. Green Doms? Like Shrek you mean? Well I suppose he is an ogre after all 🤣😂
Deleted Member Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 There are some right nutcases on here and plenty of fakes and does make it hard for those that are genuine to chat and possibly meet others.its only when you have made contact and get to know the real person then things can happen. I've made a few good friends on here even telephone calls. And have normal chats. But it would be nice to meet a play partner and learn from each other.
ge**** Posted November 5, 2021 Posted November 5, 2021 1 minute ago, Aimil2019 said: Green as I’m very new! 😂 I know but it was too good to resist 😉
ey**** Posted November 6, 2021 Posted November 6, 2021 there's old stats that when it comes to job applications women tend to apply for roles where they meet 90-95% of the criteria in the specs. Men tend to apply when it's 55-60% this ultimately means more men apply and, subject to interviews, are more likely to get the job because in a lot of vacancies having someone not quite up to the job is better than leaving it unfilled the problem is this tends to overflow into stuff like personal ads. And. I'm going to be honest. While I have criteria in my mind on what a perfect match for me might be - there's a lot of flexibility I could offer. But key points anyone wanting to play, or have any form of relationships with me, that are non-negotiable Anyway. The main problem is men are often conditions here for being successful whilst falling short. And dating and play, really... going without is better than a bad someone
Deleted Member Posted November 6, 2021 Posted November 6, 2021 Aw some men are just eternal optimists. I think it's endearing. I don't know if you mentioned roleplay anywhere but that seems to be what he thought it was about.
Deleted Member Posted November 6, 2021 Posted November 6, 2021 Some amount of Stuck up fetish snobs on here. Clown one clown 2 no offence to anyone but why is the community so pretentious?
ey**** Posted November 6, 2021 Posted November 6, 2021 5 hours ago, Div-5907 said: Some amount of Stuck up fetish snobs on here. Clown one clown 2 no offence to anyone but why is the community so pretentious? I think it's an interesting take you've got there. The person being referred to demonstrated that they could read instructions; they just didn't feel it applied to them. At best, it's idiocy - that someone 30 years out on what was being sought would somehow be accepted - at worst.... it sets a risky precedent because the person has already shown they'll ignore boundaries they don't agree with I think if nothing else... I did a quick glance at your profile and saw you want a female sub. So if a guy messaged you saying "I know you want a female sub; but I'm a male Dominant and think you should consider submitting to me" would you not think, "Who the fuck is this idiot?"
Deleted Member Posted November 9, 2021 Posted November 9, 2021 On 11/5/2021 at 6:18 PM, Handcuffyou2 said: There are some right nutcases on here and plenty of fakes and does make it hard for those that are genuine to chat and possibly meet others.its only when you have made contact and get to know the real person then things can happen. I've made a few good friends on here even telephone calls. And have normal chats. But it would be nice to meet a play partner and learn from each other. absolutely to much bullshit for my liking probably the same on other sites too
Deleted Member Posted November 9, 2021 Posted November 9, 2021 On 11/6/2021 at 12:57 PM, eyemblacksheep said: I think it's an interesting take you've got there. The person being referred to demonstrated that they could read instructions; they just didn't feel it applied to them. At best, it's idiocy - that someone 30 years out on what was being sought would somehow be accepted - at worst.... it sets a risky precedent because the person has already shown they'll ignore boundaries they don't agree with I think if nothing else... I did a quick glance at your profile and saw you want a female sub. So if a guy messaged you saying "I know you want a female sub; but I'm a male Dominant and think you should consider submitting to me" would you not think, "Who the fuck is this idiot?" It happens to me often but no I don’t think there an idiot I treat them with respect and politely decline. Suppose it depends what you’ve got going on in your life and the levels of stress your used to it’s certainly not something I’m going to get all annoyed about
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