Men checking my profile or messaging ?

[msouthwales]

To point out, I am in no way homophobic, but I am 100% straight, and my profile says looking for women !  Why are half the messages I get and people who check my profile male ?  Are they confusing my profile pic for a woman   A lot of them also seem t be straight, which is quite weird !

[ey****]

Personally speaking - I do look at profiles of a lot of people not because I'm necessarily interested in anything other than info - others may be the same

But the messages... I suspect your profile name beginning 'ms' has a few people confused - there's many threads around men not really reading profiles and you're on the receiving end here, as people are looking at your username, not reading your profile and hitting on you cos they think you're a woman - so, congrats, the worst of the men are in your inbox

[Deleted Member]

Lol I write in the story forums for women, have myself down as straight looking only for cis women. But you can't control who'll like your photos or writings. Or who'll be curious about what. As for guys messaging you, I've experienced that on other fet sites. Sometimes they can be very vulgar. Report them, and or block them. Maybe add in your profile 'don't message me unless you're in the demographic I'm looking for'.

[Missy45]

Eyemblacksheep- his profile name is not Ms. It is m southwales put together.

[ey****]

25 minutes ago, Missy45 said:

Eyemblacksheep- his profile name is not Ms. It is m southwales put together.

yes - you know that, I know that

idiot men don't read past the Ms.

[Chastity_Pup_Gabbia]

It's something I've gotten used to now. Obviously, they see my pictures and my description (which by the way I had to use as when I was using male the site couldn't match it to my look). Yes I know I don't look male but on closer viewing and once someone reads my profile I give a detailed description of who I am, what I'm into and who I'm into.
Which takes me to the messages. Most men view my profile through my look/first description, read the profile and leave it at that. Doesn't bother me. However, some men still message, still don't bother me if they are respectable and once I explaine who I am some make a sharp exit others chat and learn more about another fetish or about themselves. Some who say they are straight might be bi curious or even closer gay (not that I'm judging or bothered it's their lives).
Finally though if I do get a pestering or even vulger message or I feel uncomfortable talking there is a block button. And if they are possibly breaking the rules i.e. trying to scam, or just extremely pushy close to dangerously stalking there's a report button. But that is used for extreme purposes.
Sorry it was a long memo but it all boils down to being smart and not letting it get to you. Hope you have fun on this site/app, learn about new exciting things, meet new people and keep safe.

[Chastity_Pup_Gabbia]

Closer should have read closet

[li****]

You're not gonna stop the same sex checking you out it will happen, people are curious creatures. But what you can stop are the messages! You can filter them out, only have certain gender message you etc 

[msouthwales]

6 hours ago, ChastityPup said:

It's something I've gotten used to now. Obviously, they see my pictures and my description (which by the way I had to use as when I was using male the site couldn't match it to my look). Yes I know I don't look male but on closer viewing and once someone reads my profile I give a detailed description of who I am, what I'm into and who I'm into.
Which takes me to the messages. Most men view my profile through my look/first description, read the profile and leave it at that. Doesn't bother me. However, some men still message, still don't bother me if they are respectable and once I explaine who I am some make a sharp exit others chat and learn more about another fetish or about themselves. Some who say they are straight might be bi curious or even closer gay (not that I'm judging or bothered it's their lives).
Finally though if I do get a pestering or even vulger message or I feel uncomfortable talking there is a block button. And if they are possibly breaking the rules i.e. trying to scam, or just extremely pushy close to dangerously stalking there's a report button. But that is used for extreme purposes.
Sorry it was a long memo but it all boils down to being smart and not letting it get to you. Hope you have fun on this site/app, learn about new exciting things, meet new people and keep safe.

I can get that more with you as a quick glance at one pic and men may not realise you are female masking. Maybe I need a photo of me with a big beard holding a fish or something :D 

[msouthwales]

I can kind of get the men mistaking the username, or maybe not really looking at the profile pic, but the messaging is a bit weird.

I had one man started with 'hi how are you' etc... after a couple of messages I said  'sorry, you do realise I am straight? Don't want you wasting your time' and he said 'yeah I realise that' ???? that is  a bit strange !!!

[msouthwales]

4 hours ago, lil-monster said:

You're not gonna stop the same sex checking you out it will happen, people are curious creatures. But what you can stop are the messages! You can filter them out, only have certain gender message you etc 

Ah thanks, didn't realise I could do that x

[Deleted Member]

It happens to me every day but it doesn't bother me anymore. I can't complain really because of the image I put out, unless I start getting harassed with multiple messages and  Won't take I'm not interested as an answer.

You could filter the unwanted attention out in the settings

[TightandHard]

I believe people have to at least view your profile to know what/who you are into. It's unfortunate that the person is alerted of getting checked out even if someone innocently just looks to be sure, bit that's how it works apparently.

[msouthwales]

3 minutes ago, TightandHard said:

I believe people have to at least view your profile to know what/who you are into. It's unfortunate that the person is alerted of getting checked out even if someone innocently just looks to be sure, bit that's how it works apparently.

Yes, I get thast, but when straight men are messaging me for a chat ? It's a bit odd, I'm not on here looking for fishing buddies 

[TheBookCollector]

I check out profiles more out of curiosity but dont message unless theres something specific on the profile and even then its just to expand my understanding of a dynamic or kink.

[Nylon-Nellie]

I like to check out profiles, both male and female. Sometimes I drop a line with regards to their profile, connections and online friendships are worth their weight in gold. What does the m mean?

[msouthwales]

1 minute ago, Nylon-Nellie said:

I like to check out profiles, both male and female. Sometimes I drop a line with regards to their profile, connections and online friendships are worth their weight in gold. What does the m mean?

M is the initial of my first name and I live in South Wales, hence the name  

[Nylon-Nellie]

@msouthwalesThank you for answering my question. Just seen a post further up that has answered my question, haha.

[Deleted Member]

I'm not sure if it's just me, but in my feed I have it set to "female" only, yet men often pop up for some reason. Like this for example. Maybe that's happening and people are just so desperate they click without looking?

[Deleted Member]

Checking out the competition bruh

[msouthwales]

12 hours ago, br0kenFree said:

Checking out the competition bruh

Haha not sure I would be competition for anyone 

[Th****]

I have come to the conclusion that the person that actually reads a profile is the extreme rarity. Let alone pays any attention to what it just said.

Granted I am heterosexual and male but the same thing applies at least 50‰ of my visitors and messages are from men.

Take solace you are not alone in this just ignore those who do not apply. You can only control so much and worrying about the rest is a waste of energy.

Good luck 🙏

[Deleted Member]

Practically speaking reading other mens profiles can be informative in regards to optimizing your own or seeing what makes you stand out.  

[Mr_Rune]

Every single one I have I message and say hi , not one has ever messaged back. I'm happy to make friends as well as play partners that's the point of a kink community.