Submission Is...A Slow Burner

[CopperKnob]

The road to fucked up power dynamics is paved with demands and fragile egos. If you expect me to submit before your belt is even undone, you’re not going to have a good time getting me to defer. I’m no icon of subly perfection. I’m dominant in my everyday life, and I will eat your domly ambitions for breakfast with a large glass of Pinot if your kink is made of ice instead of marshmallows and hot chocolate.

Coldness just makes me resistant to power exchange. I’m like a dog with a toy she’s only interested in when someone tries to take it away. I will play tug-of-war if you expect too much from me too soon because submission is a risk I don’t take until I’m ready. And in my world, “ready” means trusting—of your heart, your ethics, and your humility. My submission doesn’t roll of a production line like the clothing at Primark's HQ. It requires a particular kind of mix made up of the character traits I respect.

I won’t prostrate myself in front of someone purely because of his label, and I don’t create a kink framework for relationships in advance. I prefer the framework to grow around us in its own time. I often feel like an imposter for those reasons. It’s why I took “sub” off my profile. I just cannot submit from the “Go” corner. First I want to find out if you sulk when you land on “Jail” or if you take your dice rolls as seriously as you do your icecream.

A lot of Dom's want obedience to flow from a tap like water right from the start despite the fact that they never turned on the tap. I can’t promise that to anyone. In one way, I see that as a disability, but on the other, I quite like this aspect of kink. Vanilla relationships don’t start with a list of everything we’ll be doing to each other over the next few months, and I don’t understand why kink should be any different. I’m the kind of s-type whose submission comes from the way we respond to one another and what you evoke in me.

In other words, I’m more interested in the who as opposed to the what you are. I think love stories should always be that way.

[Deleted Member]

I look forward to watching your story unfold x

[Puppy6411]

"I’m more interested in the who as opposed to the what you are."
Sums it up perfectly, from either side.

[Ar****]

7 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Vanilla relationships don’t start with a list of everything we’ll be doing to each other over the next few months, and I don’t understand why kink should be any different.

☝️This right here☝️ 

[MauroDraco]

That's superb! Thanks for the throughough description!💪🏻❤️

[PassionateAngel]

Very spot on - I call myself complex because I don’t confirm to the traditional submissiveness’ that doms see.

[Deleted Member]

The chance of finding someone here is nil. It should hardly be called a dating site. I see it more as a forum filled with hilarious stories, and only use it to catch my breath at the end of the day with a smile after a day's work.

[Ar****]

45 minutes ago, FreeUrMind said:

The chance of finding someone here is nil. It should hardly be called a dating site.

And yet I know of countless people who have found somebody here, if you read the forum topics some of their stories are right there to be read. This is a curious attitude which does not match your handle. 

[Nicky898]

This is so true , thank you for sharing 😁

[Th****]

On 11/20/2021 at 11:26 AM, FreeUrMind said:

The chance of finding someone here is nil. It should hardly be called a dating site. I see it more as a forum filled with hilarious stories, and only use it to catch my breath at the end of the day with a smile after a day's work.

Just to back up @Aranhis reply to this post.

It was on Fetish that I found @Sara-Secrets, we have been together over a year and are planning to move in together. The loud break ups and the negatives are easily read. Happy couples are quietly happy. I know many others.

@CopperKnob I think a good dynamic often starts with some in depth conversation, granted not exciting but you have to know someone before you know if you want a dynamic with them.

[Li****]

On 11/19/2021 at 5:04 PM, CopperKnob said:

A lot of Dom's want obedience to flow from a tap like water right from the start despite the fact that they never turned on the tap. I can’t promise that to anyone

@CopperKnob, thank you for writing from your heart. The whole article has resonance for me, but I particularly like description of the "type" of obedience that some dominants do indeed expect. 😍