Autism and kink

[ma****]

I have Asperger actually interestingly enough and I think it’s the anonymous nature or dressing up that appeals to me most, the rule sets of kink etc I could go on but yeah

[Deleted Member]

29 minutes ago, matt-o-chist said:

I have Asperger actually interestingly enough and I think it’s the anonymous nature or dressing up that appeals to me most, the rule sets of kink etc I could go on but yeah

The anonymity? Why does that appeal to you, do you think!

[ma****]

Aspergers don’t like social contact as much so to have online and social anonymity really helps! We can be someone other than ourselves in the role play. In my case a love for latex catsuits I can hide behind a second skin. The rules of the scene appeal to me because it’s structure, order, discipline. Unlike regular life these days kink empowers me and I can feel brave.

[mr_kink]

On 12/2/2021 at 8:04 PM, Lockfairy said:

The diagnostic criteria in the DSM5 covers both inattentive and hyperactive sub-types. 

People with ADHD are neurodiverse. Personally, I think ‘spectrum’ is too limiting a concept. It imagines that traits can be lined up and that they morph one to the other in a linear progression. I think a more accurate analogy would be to think of neurodiverse traits as a cloud. Everyone has a different mix of traits. Some are considered to be ASD, some ADHD, some both. Other traits are in there too, such as dyspraxia and dyslexia. These are often co-occurring. 

yes it does but it does not mention the combined adhd.  i think it still dosnt cover enough and needs to be updated as dsm5 was published in 2013

[mr_kink]

On 12/2/2021 at 8:28 PM, Lockfairy said:

 

The ICD10 only defines the most severe type of ADHD and is not used on its own to diagnose ADHD in the UK. The American DSM5 is the most commonly used (almost without exception) as it defines the sub-types. 
 

The ICD10 classifies all diseases, functioning, and disabilities physical and mental, whereas the DSM is specifically for mental health disorders and neurodiversities. 

this is what i was trying to say but im not good at these things lol

[Deleted Member]

22 hours ago, matt-o-chist said:

Aspergers don’t like social contact as much so to have online and social anonymity really helps! We can be someone other than ourselves in the role play. In my case a love for latex catsuits I can hide behind a second skin. The rules of the scene appeal to me because it’s structure, order, discipline. Unlike regular life these days kink empowers me and I can feel brave.

That's really insightful, thank you. Sounds like you're well aware of how BDSM works for you!

[ma****]

Problem as well is making others aware of this. It’s hard at the best of times explaining how my disability affects me to other people, but having a disability and in a kink dynamic? Makes bridging the gap even harder as quite a few people expect because your interested in a kink dynamic that you know what your doing. I’ll be honest I don’t always know because of the social divide. Since joining this discussion ive already spoken to a few potential subs but the conversation runs dry because it’s draining to run through the whole array of interests all the time. Some seeking online sub Dom before meets etc. Real people that I’ve been able to verify of course! But they seem to get bored or expect me to be a pro but try truth be told I just get tired and want simple talk or even just some space. Does that make sense or have I over explained myself? 😅

[Deleted Member]

21 minutes ago, matt-o-chist said:

Problem as well is making others aware of this. It’s hard at the best of times explaining how my disability affects me to other people, but having a disability and in a kink dynamic? Makes bridging the gap even harder as quite a few people expect because your interested in a kink dynamic that you know what your doing. I’ll be honest I don’t always know because of the social divide. Since joining this discussion ive already spoken to a few potential subs but the conversation runs dry because it’s draining to run through the whole array of interests all the time. Some seeking online sub Dom before meets etc. Real people that I’ve been able to verify of course! But they seem to get bored or expect me to be a pro but try truth be told I just get tired and want simple talk or even just some space. Does that make sense or have I over explained myself? 😅

I partly started the thread because talking about this is really instructive to those who don't know much about ASD. I've read loads and live with people who have ASD and I've learned things. I think gradually more people are becoming aware of neurodivergency and then are more thoughtful about it. It's tough, I can imagine. But "running through the full array of interests" is pretty common for anyone I think. It bores the hell out of me. I don't want a connection that's based on how many kinks I tick on someone's check list. If I can't feel happy just chatting to someone, it's not going to work. I just end those chats where I am not looking forward to the next message. Maybe it's just not a good fit for you?

[ma****]

Definitely feels like I’m having to “check those boxes” for quite a few people which sucks. Interesting point about not looking forward to the next message. I do often find this occurs unceremoniously though. One things for sure I don’t want my disability stopping me from having a healthy (and kinky) relationship. Sure I need my space from time to time but I like to think I’m still capable of dom time when my my so called mental battery is recharged.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, matt-o-chist said:

One things for sure I don’t want my disability stopping me from having a healthy (and kinky) relationship. 

It's not a disability.....although at times the overthinking can seem like a curse, and if unmanaged be detrimental to a healthy life. It merely makes us a little different, but in a community such as this different is ok.....and I've found in many ways easier to "fit" so to speak.....compared to a vanilla lifestyle where the parameters we are judged on by others are completely different.

[Dancingbear225]

I have recently been diagnosed as having high functioning Asperger's. Like a number of people commenting I have always found typical social events inane and boring. I also find large crowds loud and uncomfortable. I do function extremely well in small groups, or in very large groups when I am in control, like giving lectures. I think my need to understand, and to, as great a degree as possible, control my environment, leads me to be Dominant in all aspects of my life. I have always admired some peoples ability to let go and follow someone else's lead. I just can't do it. I'm interested in just about everything, and when I learn, study, research, I need to learn it to it's bones. This includes people in my life. I find in all aspects of my personal life that I won't bully, I prefer to lead and compromise for the best results. Is it because of the Asperger's or a symptom of it? Probably both.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Dancingbear225 said:

I have recently been diagnosed as having high functioning Asperger's. Like a number of people commenting I have always found typical social events inane and boring. I also find large crowds loud and uncomfortable. I do function extremely well in small groups, or in very large groups when I am in control, like giving lectures. I think my need to understand, and to, as great a degree as possible, control my environment, leads me to be Dominant in all aspects of my life. I have always admired some peoples ability to let go and follow someone else's lead. I just can't do it. I'm interested in just about everything, and when I learn, study, research, I need to learn it to it's bones. This includes people in my life. I find in all aspects of my personal life that I won't bully, I prefer to lead and compromise for the best results. Is it because of the Asperger's or a symptom of it? Probably both.

Yep nail on the head with all of that.......when we set a target its total balls out 100% focus and commitment.

[Mosquitor]

I have Autism and feel it definitely plays a large role in my sexual fantasies - they tend to be particularly detailed, with a lot of focus on small details and typically non-sexual scenarios that might confuse other people as to why I'd find them sexually stimulating. There's even a whole alternate reality I've built in my fantasies, with its own timeline, characters etc. From what I've read, people on the spectrum are a lot more susceptible to having fetishes or at least types of fantasies that most neurotypical people may consider unusual.

[Deleted Member]

ADHD, i know that is no autism or Asperger. But in general i think that kind of people are creative, and also want to push boundaries🙄🙂

[Deleted Member]

Yesterday at 08:45 PM, Mosquitor said:

I have Autism and feel it definitely plays a large role in my sexual fantasies - they tend to be particularly detailed, with a lot of focus on small details and typically non-sexual scenarios that might confuse other people as to why I'd find them sexually stimulating. There's even a whole alternate reality I've built in my fantasies, with its own timeline, characters etc. From what I've read, people on the spectrum are a lot more susceptible to having fetishes or at least types of fantasies that most neurotypical people may consider unusual.

So you find it easy to imagine the detail of a scene or scenario? Another angle I had just never thought about. I hope others are reading and appreciating what those with autism bring to kink. It's so often portrayed negatively when those on the spectrum can have incredible attention to detail.

[Deleted Member]

Tuesday at 07:21 PM, LatexWhatElse said:

ADHD, i know that is no autism or Asperger. But in general i think that kind of people are creative, and also want to push boundaries🙄🙂

Absolutely and both are quite good for elements of kink!

[mr_kink]

4 minutes ago, Dragonflylover said:

Absolutely and both are quite good for elements of kink!

some of the sensory issues suck tho like i can stand wearing hoods and struggle with gags

[mr_kink]

Just now, mr_kink said:

some of the sensory issues suck tho like i can stand wearing hoods and struggle with gags

cant stand

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, mr_kink said:

some of the sensory issues suck tho like i can stand wearing hoods and struggle with gags

Perhaps boundaries that can't be pushed? I don't enjoy gags much.

[mr_kink]

1 hour ago, Dragonflylover said:

Perhaps boundaries that can't be pushed? I don't enjoy gags much.

maybe

[big_baby1000]

I have autism and adhd.....definately shapes my repetitive special interest.....I cant do relationships....but like dressing up in pic