I've finally told him! Help!!

[Gingerluv]

Gonna have to do this (reading about sub frenzy)

😂

Take a sheet of notebook paper, then get a magic marker and write, in great big letters, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. Tape it to your bathroom mirror.

[ey****]

It's no problem - and to be honest, I think it's good to share this in "public" - as it makes it easier to challenge if people have different ideas or advice.

 

And also I'd like to hope there's others in a similar experience who can read this and find it helps also.

 

For me : it's stuff I went through.

 

And, there's a lot you'll find out on your own.  A lot of trial and error.

 

But certainly, fire questions through to a community.

 

I don't know about others, but, it's much more appealing to help someone who is enthusiastic.

 

 

[Gingerluv]

On 28/05/2018 at 8:58 PM, eyemblacksheep said:

first off - well done for making the first steps.  Masses of good luck to you.

Secondly - some of your background sounds similar to how me and my wife started, she had been hinting for a while and it took her a while to say "yes, this is what I want you to do"

 

Topping from the bottom.  OK, yes - it can be a problem : but when you already have someone to explore with... it's possibly better to discuss the sort of things and scenarios that appeal to you - but some can be a "in the future you can..." there's stuff myself and my wife have discussed I know she has consented to and would be interested in - but I will spring on her when she least expects it...

But certainly, don't be afraid of this at first, once interests can be explored you can work away from that in the future.

Im coming back to your comment as now he has actually told me that he has been feeling similar things - that he wants to dominate me. That he is actually really turned on by the idea of me being his little slave / slut / sub. 

 

Now the time to discover and play has come! He has asked to hear from me what kind of things I am willing to try. So we should be having quite some fun soon!

[Gingerluv]

So we're both totally immersed in learning more about this and realising the d/s dynamics are way more complex than we imagined. It all feels exciting and new just like that first rush of adrenaline when you meet someone you like the first time

 

We're both fascinated by rope bondage - shibari. So intricate and beautiful and such a turn on! 

 

 

[ey****]

I kinda love your updates - partially cos I can relate cos I've been through it all.   You know, even however many years later there's always excitement when a new toy arrives.

Today has been a bit stressful for me - but - I did get a couple of deliveries today including a leather body bag and a straitjacket.    Neither of which are pretty advanced, but, I did have to make sure we would use them - because I have got plenty of toys which have not had so much use as they deserved over time.

[Chaney01]

 I'm not sure I'm the right perso to give advice but I can tell you what I did. I baught BDSM instruction videos (adameve.com, bettersex by the siclair institute, extremrestraints.com) . Then I asked him if he trusted me to pick the video for the evening. and that' s what we wached. As we wacted, I pointed to the screen and said "I want to try that." I'm suprized it worked.

[Gingerluv]

There is one slight problem... neither of us are getting much sleep *yawn* 

But 😁 its worth it!

 

[Chaney01]

Safe word alternative: I tap out like the wresters do. I haven't figured out yet what to do if I'm also bound but thankfully it hasn't come to that. 

[ey****]

cut was called on a clip I was filming as I started tapping the floor and she was worried it was a safeword.  I've found/said my tells are that if I'm tapping an object it's because I'm struggling but not safewording.  If I tap her.... then it means to ease off.  But, I massively appreciated the stop.

I think always making sure there's some way of communicating a safeword.  Hell, even if you're bound and gagged if there's a winking pattern.

[Ekuda]

On 6/2/2018 at 5:54 PM, Gingerluv said:

So we're both totally immersed in learning more about this and realising the d/s dynamics are way more complex than we imagined. It all feels exciting and new just like that first rush of adrenaline when you meet someone you like the first time

 

We're both fascinated by rope bondage - shibari. So intricate and beautiful and such a turn on! 

 

 

I've been loving this thread, as the hubby and I are in a similar place. We are super interested in shibari, too, so please update us with any resources you find!

[Gingerluv]

We realised that we will have to plan when we can use ropes. With kids in the house who have a homing beacon for any adult related activities its a little too risky and frustrating when youre in the middle of a complex tie and a kid comes along needing something. 

We have tried a few simple things from a website we found. But we cant do anything that takes long to undo as he cannot leave me for obvious reasons. We need a regular babysitter 😁

 

[Gingerluv]

Not sure if anyone cares (probably not) but just needed to say... earned my first truly bruised bottom 😋 i didnt feel it, oh pointed it out this morning! Surprised both of us 😁

 

Also put some hooks / eyes in the walls in the bedroom... theyre only there to hold up the fairy lights should anhone ask of course....

[ey****]

nice one - yeah   it's good to have some of the first bruised bottoms.