Balls Included.

[Psuedom]

I'm usually pretty quiet about this stuff, but... 

Today is the anniversary of the day my wife accidentally admitted she had been gaslighting me for just short of 8 years. I was absolutely horrified at the time, yet realising why my struggles with poor mental health over those years were so persistent and needless, along with the compounded feeling of the whole relationship being just a complete waste of time and feelings has been the hardest part. 
I reacted badly to the news and burnt the relationship to the ground out of pure hatred (as I promised I would), losing many friends and leaving behind almost everything associated with that period. 

Most of those friends will never see, hear or understand my side of the story:
Simultaneously ignoring a person's needs while "giving support" to them so they'll follow your agenda and consistently compromise everything about themselves is not supporting them, it's manipulation, *** and the deliberate creation of an unhealthy co-dependant relationship. Repeating the process after they have broken in the hope they are more pliant the next time, is simply disgusting. 

She will never see, hear or understand my side of the story:
Being taught by your elders "never to compromise" and their self-declaration of the Machiavellian family moto "convert or castrate", makes them sociopaths and your relationships flawed.

I hope you will see, hear and understand my side of the story:
Today is a day for celebration, as I am now as I was before it all started, balls included. 

Edited December 14, 2021 by Psuedom
Typo

[Deleted Member]

💖

[Deleted Member]

Been there and know exactly how you felt. People like that, knows how to do it and say things behind your back so when ever you break out if it and put your foot don’t you look like exactly how they ***ted that you’re. So Celebrate the new you , the happier you

[AProperDom]

Been there. No support off of the joint friends, telling me I should stay with her.
My own parents defending her.

[Deleted Member]

I would say, between escaping with my sanity and keeping my friends, the former is the one I would choose any day. You clearly do to. When a revolution happens , there are casualties, and not being able to tell your side of the story is one of those casualties. If you had stopped at the time to consider that and rationalise it, you might still be sans balls today. What is amazing and I hope you congratulate yourself every day on is that after 8 years you still had enough self-preservation instinct left in you to act and save yourself. That’s very difficult to do. The loss of most of your friends I view as a small price to pay to have a chance to start again and rebuild. I hope also that you’ve sought help to go over what happened and make sense of it. And btw, you say you reacted badly to the realisation of her gaslighting. No, you reacted as you were meant to - you had enough of you still left in there to run and give yourself a chance.

[Deleted Member]

Been there and took me 10 years to escape but it made me recover to be stronger mentally and more aware.

[Deleted Member]

I knowv how you feel psue. Similar story to my own. I won't let anyone that close ever again.

[Psuedom]

Thank you for the general kind words, I will be replying to a few via DM. 

I would like to clarify one thing though, posting this (on a few forms of social media) was simply me marking the day and celebrating by writing publicly about it for the first time. Thanks to the support and understanding of a few people on and off this site, I am absolutely solid way ahead of time. In future, I will be celebrating with a meal or drinks in good company, rather than as a keyboard warrior with man-flu. 

To those still struggling with similar issues, you have my shoulders, ears & support if you ever need them. 

x

[Deleted Member]

Congratulations & Happy Anniversary… it sounds like that day you found yourself again and I agree that should be celebrated! I’m glad you were able to cut those ties, take your balls back as you put it and match forward knowing your conscience was clear! Good for you Psue 💙

[Vi****]

Just wanted to say what amazing people you are, and how saddened I am to read of your experiences. I wish you well in your hourneys ahead. There truly are some horrific people out there.

[Go****]

A deserved celebration. I experienced this and other forms of *** from my husband for 20+ years and hadn't thought about celebrating the actual freedom day. I am healing well, and after reading this I think it may well be time to start the anniversary celebrations. I hope you're healing and happy. Oh, and, get well soon!