Ignore list

[Deleted Member]

Hi, to every one thats reads this  

Question?

How would people feel about being put on an ignore list after contacting someone by message (for the first time) and getting a outo-mated mesaage back saying - you have being put on this person ignore list, (essential block list)

 The message from me was, Hello how are you? 

I understand why that option is there. But if the person does not want to speak to you, they just have to say no thanks or don'nt reply, right? Or maybe other people have a different opinion, I am just currios what people might think.  No biggie I know these things happen.

Thank you 

[Deleted Member]

Everyone has their own limits. 

I know I get dozens of 'hey' and 'hey, how are you?' messages every week, sometimes every day. I ignore them. BUT in the past I've responded and every single time the next message has been an inappropriate come on. 

Maybe this person has had a similar experience and just blocks people outright. It is their choice and their decision. And the way they make this site work for them. 

I think it's good to have that option so that users feel safe and happy using this site.

[ey****]

the internet at times could be friendlier, but, by that I don;t mean the immediate thought.

So she could say no thanks or not reply.

If she says no thanks - then perhaps she has done this in the past and then received back a 20 questions of "why not?", "What can I do?" or "Fuck you bitch I was only being friendly" - so she wants to pre-empt that.

If she doesn't reply - then perhaps she has done in the past and received a whole bunch of follow up messages.

So, she's reached for the ignore button on the grounds she's not interested and wished to avoid the previous two scenarios because of previous negative behaviour from other guys.

 

[Deleted Member]

It's a constant dilemma...thanks but no thanks usually goes one of 3 ways no matter how nicely you say it..1) theres those that are offended you reject them and send back streams of ***, leave you low ratings or just "stalk" your profile, showing up as visiting it every few minutes which can get unnerving..2) theres some, as Victoria says, who send "oh come on, you don't even know me, give me a chance "  and then you feel as if you should explain why, and then they get offended and then tend to go the first way, and 3) the minority, who may send a thanks for letting me know and good luck to you too type message.

I always check a profile before deciding whether to reply to any message, most often I will..but the hi how are you type messages aren't inspiring as an introductory hello, esp when the profile lacks any info about the person sending it.. I dont want to offend anyone but it smacks of laziness, too lazy to fill in a profile and tick a couple of boxes and write more than hey how are you, and I just ignore it, I find it avoids 1 & 2 I mentioned above..haven't ever blocked anyone on the basis of it though, guess whoever you mailed was Really fed up.

[Carnelian2]

It happens. I try not to do the same.

Anyway, you lose some to win one

[Deleted Member]

There can be many reasons for this & those reasons will vary from person to person. As has already been mentioned it could be because of her having had bad past experiences as a result of using one of the other options. It is sometimes just the case that some people, especially those who may receive many messages from many people, prefer to simply go with that. It is also a fact, & this is not meant to sound critical of you, that many ladies, again especially those who receive a lot of messages, like the men to be a little more creative in their opening gambits. Maybe try mentioning something about them you have gleaned from their profile, particularly if it is something you may have in common, or something about yourself you feel may interest her or help you to perhaps stand out from the other men who may message her. Still no guarantees of course you won't be put straight on an ignore list, happens to us all, but maybe a little food for thought & worth giving a try. Good luck.

[Deleted Member]

Some people can't take a hint. So if a person has experience of this they just tend to block straight away if they are not interested. As MsJax said, people stalk profiles which is a horrible feeling. So easier for the member to block them. Saves any confusion as some people think they can change a members opinion. A no is no not everyone gets that and can be damn right awful about it. Personally I have had some horrible pms just because I have said no thank you. Always read a persons profile ro make sure you are potentially what they could be looking for.

[Stevie56]

I would not like that!

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for your messages.

 I don'nt understand why this behavour is being defended. Like I said I do understand why that option is there but should only be used when nessarery "You can't ***t every one with the same brush" for no reason. Ignorance is what is wrong with the world these days and you can't assume every one can not take no for an answer or will be rude or a stalker. There is an option to report messages. 

Thank you ✌  

[Be****]

To be honest, I love the auto response option. The message itself says it all, sometimes there are so many messages to look through and rather than simply ignoring messages which tend to get more and more demanding, it's nice to be able to send a no thanks message. I don't understand why you would be offended by it to be honest.

[Deleted Member]

19 minutes ago, Fetish515 said:

Thank you for your messages.

 I don'nt understand why this behavour is being defended. Like I said I do understand why that option is there but should only be used when nessarery "You can't ***t every one with the same brush" for no reason. Ignorance is what is wrong with the world these days and you can't assume every one can not take no for an answer or will be rude or a stalker. There is an option to report messages. 

Thank you ✌  

No one is defending rudeness..but there are any number of reasons someone may choose to block someone..what you consider necessary, is releveant to you, and you alone.

Each of us chooses whatever is necessary for ourselves, which is why it's there..and we can choose to talk to, or engage with, on any level, at any time, or we don't have to..not everything we don't want to see or read is worthy of reporting..deleting and removing/blocking is very often adequate.

 

 

 

Edited June 2, 2018 by Deleted Member

[ey****]

tell you a problem with the 'report' button.  Whilst a very important function - another similar site has mentioned they are adding the functionality and the amount of guys who are all like "I don't want to get banned because someone reports my innocent conversation" is laughable.

And let's be honest - anyone doing the 20-questions when told 'no' there's difficult grounds for report. "All I did was ask for how to improve myself, your honour" 

I think your protests to getting a response you didn't want on this thread kinda backs this up

[Carnelian2]

I suppose on the “no thanks” option, it is very final as it prevents further contact with the person, so you might as well block them. From my own perspective, I like to keep options open, in case I change my mind at a later stage. It does give the impression that the person know exactly what he/she wants.

let us be honest; how many of us actually know exactly what we want?

[ey****]

3 hours ago, Carnelian2 said:

let us be honest; how many of us actually know exactly what we want?

I think like a lot of scenarios in kink - we don't necessarily know what we want, there is no one right way, etc.

but

we may know what we don't want.   there are definite wrong ways. etc.

[Carnelian2]

True

[3S****]

17 hours ago, Fetish515 said:

Thank you for your messages.

 I don'nt understand why this behavour is being defended. Like I said I do understand why that option is there but should only be used when nessarery "You can't ***t every one with the same brush" for no reason. Ignorance is what is wrong with the world these days and you can't assume every one can not take no for an answer or will be rude or a stalker. There is an option to report messages. 

Thank you ✌  

You'd still be getting a no thanks even if they didn't block., or having your messages ignored entirely. At least gave you the time of day to click a button that says no thanks.

 

The fact that you don't recognise that you did get a reply and were not ignored says something. Why don't you want to be blocked? They're not interested so you don't need to be unblocked.

[Deleted Member]

Interesting post because I have  the misfortune of being on a members ignore list...I made the mistake of not understanding and respecting a members right to privacy...To be ignored on a members list still leaves the possibility that contact is a possibility in the future....Being blocked has bit of an ominous meaning to it..I do not think it is insulting  , but it is like chatting to someone on the phone and them putting the phone down...wondering what have I said or done for this to happen.!..I do not think blocked is the right way..it can put members off in making contact..To find out one has been blocked can seed doubts about ones ability to contact members , affect ones confidence etc..never knowing why have I been blocked...To know what I have done wrong is so important for any future contact between members.!..Ignore..sends a more friendly and personal reply...with an option to tick from a choice of statements as to why.!...

[ey****]

I think at a harshest level - it's not the job of the users receiving messages to have to educate the person sending the message.

But, perhaps there could be a simple drop down/tick box along with any 'ignore'

Here's some suggested options

- did you even read my fucking profile?

- so you send this exact copy paste message to all the ladies?

- if this is all the effort you think I'm worth then you're lucky I'm going to the effort of ticking this box

- "Hey" ? Really?  3 times and you summon fat Albert

- You live on another continent, FFS

- you're a fucking creep

and

- listen, do I really have to go through this fucking bullshit tickbox exercise just to say "no, I'm not interested" in order the satisfy the fragile male ego?

[Deleted Member]

On 6/2/2018 at 9:58 PM, MsJax said:

No one is defending rudeness..but there are any number of reasons someone may choose to block someone..what you consider necessary, is releveant to you, and you alone.

Each of us chooses whatever is necessary for ourselves, which is why it's there..and we can choose to talk to, or engage with, on any level, at any time, or we don't have to..not everything we don't want to see or read is worthy of reporting..deleting and removing/blocking is very often adequate.

 

 

 

Yes we all have choices- but why be on here if all you want to do is tell people to f*** off??

[ey****]

maybe it's just crap wannabe Doms they tell to fuck off?

[Deleted Member]

Speak for yourself!

[ey****]

I still feel there's some context missing.  This doesn't seem to be a wildly reported problem.  

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, wanttodominate said:

Yes we all have choices- but why be on here if all you want to do is tell people to f*** off??

That's a sweeping statement..I have only ever told one person here to fuck off..and he sent..after clearly not bothering to read my profile.."hey, you must be desperate for a real cock down your throat you fat bitch"...how was I supposed to respond to that in a positive way? Why would I engage at all and leave myself open to more unsolicited insults? You're frankly talking out your arse..you're assuming everyone blocks everyone which is not the case, just those without the basic common decency to read what the person they're mailing is looking for..or who think only with their, usually inadequate penis..

[Deleted Member]

Well I can understand the blocking in that case

but as for talking out my arse???

With all due respect, u don’t know me, will never know me so how can u judge??

 

[3S****]

3 hours ago, wanttodominate said:

Yes we all have choices- but why be on here if all you want to do is tell people to f*** off??

I use the no thanks feature way more than i reply to people i am interested in. I don't tell everyone to fuck off, just the majority.