Brat tamers

[Deleted Member]

We've talked before about how labels aren't definitive and shouldn't define you, but we still use them within BDSM and it's wrong to say words don't have power. Connotations are important and a key part of label interpretation, especially with new members trying to tiptoe their way through the minefield that is entering the kink world.

One label I don't like, is brat tamer. It's a personal thing, but as a brat on the hunt for a dominant, it's very relative to me.

IMO, a brat tamer wants to take the brat out of the submissive. That's not necessarily how people take the label, but that's what the words connote. If you tame a horse, you take out its wildness, we literally call it breaking them in. I have no desire to be broken, because I don't think there's anything wrong with me. I am an obedient and well behaved submissive, when that's what's called for.

I prefer the term brat handler. A brat handler, to me, enjoys the challenge of the brat. Setting tasks so there are no loopholes, having a smarter, quicker comeback to a sassy comment. A brat handler - again to me, because this is all subjective and we've had lots of discussion about what labels are and aren't - will make me feel like I've played, like I've pushed and been pushed back, or that I've competed (in a friendly encounter) and (somewhat) gracefully accepted defeat. They allow, and even want, the bratting, because it's fun for both parties and it's (here's the important bit) kept within the boundaries that keeps the brat satisfied and the Dominant happy.

Because happy Dominants is what we're all here for, right? 😉

[Mo****]

Charmander, the roles are different for every dynamic, and as a dominant, I can tame or handle. The thing is though dear lady, that far too many roles within this life are wrong. You see the tamer as being someone who breaks the spirit of a brat whereas I don't. I want a submissive not a doormat, I want a sub who is a free thinker, a person with spirit and an open mind, a preparedness to explore and experience what this life has to offer. I don't want any sub of mine to feel that they can not seek to have fun and push the dynamic in a way that they get their fulfillment and are content within the dynamic. After all, they have gifted me with that responsibility. This life is suppose to be fun and exciting, not boring and mundane, and you can't have that if you have broken the spirit of the submissive. The other thing to remember is this, that there HAS TO BE PERSONAL GROWTH, and that can not happen in life if the sub feels no freedom to be themselves.

[Dustykat]

I love what you said and it’s very true we don’t need to be tamed it makes me want to run or brat harder, it’s all in the game and fun the give and take and especially it makes the hunt more enjoyable 🍭🧚‍♀️ 

[CopperKnob]

For me its the meaning behind the label and we all ascribe different meanings to words. I have mixed feelings about the label brat. Am I cheeky, mischievious, will I push buttons? In the right mood and with the right person, without a doubt.
But I've been called a brat in a negative way and it stung. I realised that it was when people see a brat as someone who deliberately breaks 'rules', goes out of their way to annoy, and is just generally rude. Thats not my interpretation of the word brat. It might be theirs.
Do I want to be stripped of that like you'd tame or break in a horse? Absolutely not and yet, I do want someone who'll, from time to time, not let me get away with my shit and who can get the better of me/my mind. For me thats not 'taming' me, its that persons strength/power over me, their ability to use their strength/power in the right way and the fact that they even care enough about me to put me in my place.
That's the fun side of being a 'brat' it's not for everyone but, please, don't take my fun away from me. It makes things boring

[ds****]

Nothing more to say, I totally agree with you.

[Psuedom]

6 hours ago, Charmander said:

Because happy Dominants is what we're all here for, right? 😉

Over a year in the making, but I knew you'd get there eventually. 

Good girl. 

😘

[Deleted Member]

I have always rolled my eyes when I have seen posts about taming a brat. Why in gods name would you want to take the spark from someone? A genuine brat knows where the lines are, and their almost childlike mischief is endearing (when not exasperating) plus keeps you on your toes! Once you understand it is simply another way of expressing affection then embrace it, don't try to kill it.

[Deleted Member]

Char, dear beautiful friend. I would hope no words like “tamed” ever become your fiery spirit.
I have also always disliked the term and label “brat tamer,” to me you have to take the “brat” (a label itself) and then tame that? Why the fuck would you want to do that? Why break such a good thing?
The term “tamed” or “domesticated” means that the spirit is broken, and if you are some sadistic, egoistical, narcissistic person, maybe you get some degree of contentment at breaking someone’s spirit to that extent, I guess to each their own. I call that oppression, and I certainly would never want to oppress that beautiful behavior.

I like brats. Or rather.. I like the fiery spirit of an intelligent woman who likes to push limits, and is comfortable with me enough to do things that are considered not in the social norm of acceptable behavior (are you gonna let her get away with that, no, it’s none of your business and she’ll find out later, but it’ll be fun)

I think I will remove that label from my profile as a means of active protest against the term.

Thank you for your thoughtful post.

[Psuedom]

24 minutes ago, Feral_MountianKing said:

I think I will remove that label from my profile as a means of active protest against the term.

This is actually very tempting... ¡Viva la revolución! 

[Glasgowdom1991]

See I view the brat tamer lable as someone who can deal with brat behaviour and is able to understand the root cause of that behaviour and as such is able to mitigate the behaviour I'll give u an example my ex was infamous for her short temper and being a nightmare in general during our reletionship it was noticed that I could calm her down and keep her calm when normally she would act out especially in public it got to the 3xtent that I was saved in her dad's phone as the bitch whisper