Aftercare

[Deleted Member]

In all previous dynamics, the only aftercare i ever got was a debrief of sorts. Almost clinical questions. "you seemed ok with that, am I right?" kinda thing. Never had the aftercare so often talked about. Will be nice to receive it at some point. And give it, to be honest.

[De****]

Aftercare is so important. Cuddles are important, but there’s so much more! I’ve had to keep a damp cloth nearby, for cleanup; a sweet snack and drink, to replenish glucose and prevent crash; a hairbrush makes a good paddle, but brushing your partner’s hair can really help! Results may vary, but intensity can require a comedown that helps your partner recover. Sub drop can be very harmful!

[da****]

What about aftercare for the dom/mes - yall have emotions, expectations, ***s etc too. Is the giving and receiving of aftercare reciprocal/shared when you do it?

[da****]

December 22, Feral_MountianKing said:

Aftercare is different for every person and situation, you can’t apply broad statements, or apply the same response each time.
Each time I’ve been in the aftercare stage it’s been different, sometimes it’s just let go do something fun together.
Sometimes in this *** state deep discussions occur, things are figured out. Sometimes all it is the warmth of togetherness, and talking and laughing.
There is definitely not a one answer fits all situations though.
What it always is: uplifting, reassuring and positive.

Also thank you for your last sentence here. It put into words the heart of it that I hadnt been able to capture yet 😊

[De****]

4 hours ago, dazey94 said:

What about aftercare for the dom/mes - yall have emotions, expectations, ***s etc too. Is the giving and receiving of aftercare reciprocal/shared when you do it?

I dunno. For me, at least, taking care of those basic kinds of needs is a sort of aftercare. But you’re right; it can be hard to be “always on” like that. It’s a good question, just not one I’ve ever thought that much about.

[St****]

I think its part of the communication, right? I feel like its really important to be aware of because both sides might need it🤍

[Deleted Member]

For me in the perfect dynamic the most my aftercare would consist of would be checking my physical welfare. 

I like a consistent element if D/s, far from helping fluffy blankets and gentle cuddles just drags me from subspaceback to reality. I personally would prefer my parting from my Dom to be a look of dismissal and contempt. 

Of course I have to be secure in the knowledge that the Dom understands this part of me, and I respect others are different. 

 

[th****]

Aftercare is paramount. it’s just *** if no aftercare

[Deleted Member]

Totally agree. Aftercare is something I always do and talk about right up front. It’s critical, in my opinion.

[gl****]

I have met someone who sees me as a dom but we haven’t met yet but she says she is into it 24/7 and I care about her and I want to make sure she gets enough emotional support from me afterwards. I am caring and I know how to comfort someone but no one knows everything could people give me tips in case I have not thought of something. I want her to enjoy, know I care and she doesn’t want for anything. I am not a bully or selfish. I want to know she has everything she needs

[da****]

2 hours ago, glasgow726 said:

I have met someone who sees me as a dom but we haven’t met yet but she says she is into it 24/7 and I care about her and I want to make sure she gets enough emotional support from me afterwards. I am caring and I know how to comfort someone but no one knows everything could people give me tips in case I have not thought of something. I want her to enjoy, know I care and she doesn’t want for anything. I am not a bully or selfish. I want to know she has everything she needs

I mean firstly are You into this idea? I'm kinky but not with anyone and only when I know them well enough to judge they are safe.

Secondly, the more work you do Before anything sexual/kinky, the safer you will both be. Reflect on your concerns and where they are coming from, your boundaries, and then have a face to face discussion w them to provide them space to do the same.

Also just get to know and build trust with each other! It will make the play so much safer and so much sweeter.

And then if you do go ahead, sub drop and sub frenzy are important to be aware of, as well as safe technique specific to whatever kinks you want to try, first aid etc

I'm sure there are many other things to be said but this is what came to mind for me!

[Lu****]

I have not been in a dom/sub dynamics but I feel aftercare should be given in all relationships. Having a towel ready or help with clean up or a nice cuddle just to be held can make the overall experience million times better. (In the past having a box of tissue tossed at me was all I got, does that even counts as aftercare 🤷🏻‍♀️)

[ol****]

Aftercare is important. What constitutes aftercare should be established at the outset. 

[Sv****]

After care is extremely important. The dynamic takes a toll on both parties depending on the intensity

[Strix]

I don't have a sub now but when I did I reflected and discussed with her all that we did. Gave her sweets/chocolate and drinks. Cuddles and blanket also, if the play was intense, never went too far. I can say aftercare for me is very vital to ensure that we as a D/s are connected and helps with communication through out any relationship

[Ri****]

Aftercare is extremely important and necessary after any session which is (more or less) not vanilla, IMO. As a dom im responsible for checking my sub's emotional, mental and physical well-being; personally i also check during play if my sub is still enjoying herself (we use the trafficlight system and i would fall in the soft dom/RomDom category of doms) as we are expanding our limits. Once our play session is over i feel its absolutely essential to come down from whatever high we were on, to evaluate what we did and discuss if everything was according to our liking and to see what can/should be improved. Also to emphasize that whatever was said in play was just that: play. No aftercare is not something i agree upon.

[Ro****]

Aftercare is crucial for play partners. Though i offer it for first time encounters as well I personally don’t do it for myself without an certain level of kink and even then i prefer to take care of their needs then address my own. Its been awhile since its felt necessary for myself but cant say its not important even when no kink if they are having a hard time and your stress relief triggers them emotionally which happens too.

[Deleted Member]

I do. I feel like aftercare is one of the most important aspects besides trust. Some subs are haunted by negative feelings after sessions, so even if it isn’t for you, it’s still respectable to tend to your partners needs after the fact because you just can’t explain other peoples thoughts.

[MI****]

Aftercare is a must!