New to the game

[DrG-4411]

I have recently separated from my wife. Just before we separated she got me into a mild BDSM which I really enjoyed and would like to carry on. Very nervous tho as I don’t really know where to start and would love some guidance in improving. 

Any help and guidance is well received 

[Deleted Member]

Hello, it’s important to know what you’re interested in And what you wanna gain from the experience, like what’s your kinks what you wanna do and what you would do? Then when that’s figured out you can create personal ads that like minded people can see and connect with you.. I hope that sheds some light on your situation 😊

[Lugnut-4292]

Depending on what you mean by mild you might want to go to local meets 'Munches' to meet like minded people. There are probably going to be a mixture of experienced and inexperienced folks there. One person's mild may be another person's vanilla and vice versa. Also, are you interested in dom or sub or switch or not sure yet? Tastes mature over time and with experience. I understand that it can be difficult to meet somebody that is a good match so perseverance is important as is some degree of compromise. Reading this forum will give you a good idea of how people play and what interests you. Some play will sound great and some will almost certainly not, we try not to judge here, if it does not interest you move along until you find something that does. When me and the Mrs started we used books to learn, there are some good books that will teach you some of the basics. There is no shame in going to see a professional but that can get expensive. Personally my play is moderate. I am new to the scene but been in a fetish relationship for a long time.  Many people are looking for experience and it is a bit chicken and egg as how to get that. Making friends and not being too pushy is probably good advice. Telling somebody that you will do anything for them is usually a big turn off (and you wont do anything), everybody has limits and most people don't like wet sponges. As with meeting any partner, making friends first is probably the best way to go.

L 

[DrG-4411]

Thanks for both your responses it’s really helpful and gives me a good idea of what I need to do to get going.

[BigPolly]

I don’t think it’s important to know what you’re interested in at all, not everyone knows & many folk like lots of different things. Like @Lugnut says, tastes mature. We all started somewhere & many of our kinks & tastes have changed over time. Study stuff on the Internet, talk to folk on here & hang around for sometime until you find things that interest you. There are munches or clubs if you want to meet like minded folk but whatever route you choose, just enjoy yourself. Everyone on here is very open & although not everything floats everyone’s boat that’s ok cos we’re all different & that’s what makes us all wonderfully weird

[ey****]

there's some questions of which the answers don't entirely matter

but, what did you experience that interested you?

I don't think you need a full on plan of exactly what you're looking for but, "I'd like to do BDSM" could mean one of many things.

If you're in the North-West there's an awful lot of choice, many munches and events and a fair few dungeons.  But, a lot of these are worth visiting at your own pace and of course remember the general rule these aren't hook-up events but a chance to talk and make friends with other people into the lifestyle.   Many will have different experience levels, interests and their own stories.

Sometimes, I feel approaching with an open mind is good.  But be cautious approaching *too* open minded because it sometimes sounds "desperate for anything"