This new Dom needs help!

[Deleted Member]

So my partner & I have agreed to switch & I am now his queen & he is my servant & I’m really just looking for ideas to get me going. There is a lot online but we aren’t into sissy play etc so punishments are hard to think of as I don’t want him dressing as a girl or pegging/strap ons etc as they don’t do it for me. Any suggestions to help me be the best dom I can be would be really helpful! I want to blow his mind!!! 

[Crybaby-7564]

Put a nappy on him

[Deleted Member]

If you'd like me to give you some advice, please pm with a more specific question. I'm happy to help, so just let me know

[Lugnut-4292]

It is a bit hard to say with so little input. Personally we enjoy mind games as much as anything physical. Breath play is our latest thing. Really get a kick out of Mrs LugNut telling me she is going to *** my life away. Are you after punishments just during play time or more of a lifestyle thing?

L

[Deleted Member]

Thanks for the reply. Definitely as a lifestyle thing as much as we can. I agree the mind games is definitely a big thing for us but I want to be able to back up what I say. He enjoys worshipping me which I love but I struggle to separate the difference between play & punishment as we seem to love both. I’ll currently controlling when he cums which has been a lot of fun & we are looking at cock cages too but in the meantime I was just looking for any ideas at all that doesn’t involve like I say strapons etc as I still want him to be a man if that makes sense. 

[ey****]

I think a first tip especially when you're starting out.  Ask him for anything he may wish to explore.  Some stuff might be a nope (either now or forever) but it gives a first building block.  

I think for anyone to give meaningful ideas depends on what direction you're going onto.

Punishment doesn't have to be as such.  There are a lot of tropes in BDSM which can be distracting - I said on another thread sometimes the greatest *actual* punishment is withholding the play they want.   But if you are into impact play then it can be a role play "you didn't do the dishes and disappointed me!" or it can be just light hearted fun. There'll be a lot of trial and error.

I think, read some threads about different types of play and browse the fetish list for things that make you go "ooh"  I don't think there's harm in looking for ideas in a public forum but having rough ideas of the types of thing you might want to do, helps.

Otherwise you just get... I dunno... fill his underwear with nettles... or whatever, which might be far from what you want.

[Deleted Member]

How about queening or furniture play? :-) esp. Queening is close to Vanilla and a good "bridge", on which you can just little by little ease (pun intended) into exploring your personal pleasure ... then you can take it to watersports, ass worship, foot worship ... keeping it all sensual.

[Deleted Member]

Hard edging works. B used to shooting load wiv u. Prevent him multiple times is v controlling