So you want to meet a Domme

[ho****]

10 minutes ago, MisstressStorm said:

I imagine female subs are lost in the toxic male bombardment . Some Dominas are straight. As I’m evolving it’s more about the Kink and attitude rather than gender. Sweet *** can be applied in a similar manner  the head fuckery can follow the similar paths 😈

Yes, it's a bombardment that leaves little space!  I've often wondered what's the attitude of straight dommes towards female subs who don't want any sex, like asexuals. Obviously each domme will see things differently, but what's the general trend?

[MisstressStorm]

2 minutes ago, housegirl said:

Yes, it's a bombardment that leaves little space!  I've often wondered what's the attitude of straight dommes towards female subs who don't want any sex, like asexuals. Obviously each domme will see things differently, but what's the general trend?

For other Dominas, sex is a part of service. For me , sex and / or sexual contact is all about power and control. I control everything in the Kink arena I will play with the sub within Hard Limits and push whatever agenda I see fit for my pleasure and the education of the sub. 

co-incidentally stating that ‘subs’ don’t get sex or to touch me , gets men falling at the first fence which helps filter out the pond weed ⛈

[ey****]

40 minutes ago, housegirl said:

So why is it that so many dommes don't even consider female subs, who are unlikely to have shopping lists or behave like described? Just wondering. 

there's Dommes I know who are straight who are friends with female subs and will play with them - but it doesn't fit into what they'd otherwise want in a dedicated relationship

there are a couple of Dommes I know who have, or had, female subs and regardless of considered sexual activities - the Dommes themselves were bi. 

[ho****]

2 minutes ago, MisstressStorm said:

For other Dominas, sex is a part of service.

True, which leads me on to further wondering: are there in this world any ladies with an interest for domestic service without sex? I'm aware this sounds so little kinky that I might be in the wrong place, then again I wouldn't know where else to look. One can't look for a service job and say that she enjoys being bossied about, haha.

[MisstressStorm]

3 minutes ago, housegirl said:

True, which leads me on to further wondering: are there in this world any ladies with an interest for domestic service without sex? I'm aware this sounds so little kinky that I might be in the wrong place, then again I wouldn't know where else to look. One can't look for a service job and say that she enjoys being bossied about, haha.

 

3 minutes ago, housegirl said:

True, which leads me on to further wondering: are there in this world any ladies with an interest for domestic service without sex? I'm aware this sounds so little kinky that I might be in the wrong place, then again I wouldn't know where else to look. One can't look for a service job and say that she enjoys being bossied about, haha.

Indeed there are - including Pro Dommes who don’t have sex as part of their service. Service without expectation of reward is laudable indeed as a sub. ⛈

[ho****]

37 minutes ago, MisstressStorm said:

 

Indeed there are - including Pro Dommes who don’t have sex as part of their service. Service without expectation of reward is laudable indeed as a sub. ⛈

Thank you, to me the reward is in being around and taking care of someone I "love". Unfortunately what would do it for me is more a lifestyle arrangement than an occasional service. 

Edited August 11, 2023 by housegirl

[Ve****]

Gawd, THANK YOU. I’m constantly being pursued aggressively by men begging me to dominate them in the most annoying manner. I’m a person, not just a dominant female. And the demanding demeanor is so off-putting. And the call to politeness cannot be overstated.

[Do****]

Love this!

[Deleted Member]

I love when a man is manaplaining being a Domme?! Rolling my eyes. Ladies, we must get our power back and hold on to it. Period.

[Deleted Member]

Just now, PlayfulDomme said:

I love when a man is manaplaining being a Domme?! Rolling my eyes. Ladies, we must get our power back and hold on to it. Period.

Mansplaining ^^

[Do****]

3 hours ago, PlayfulDomme said:

I love when a man is manaplaining being a Domme?! Rolling my eyes. Ladies, we must get our power back and hold on to it. Period.

Absolutely!

I think we need a chat room just for lifestyle Dommes. Then we can support each other, help those who aren’t getting the right subs etc, share our experience and build up the ladies!

[Deleted Member]

34 minutes ago, DommeDelight said:

Absolutely!

I think we need a chat room just for lifestyle Dommes. Then we can support each other, help those who aren’t getting the right subs etc, share our experience and build up the ladies!

I like this. I don’t mean to be rude at all and some of this may hit. However, a lot of this purely some dom dude deciding this is how we feel. Garbage.

[Do****]

7 minutes ago, PlayfulDomme said:

I like this. I don’t mean to be rude at all and some of this may hit. However, a lot of this purely some dom dude deciding this is how we feel. Garbage.

Some of it really resonates with me though. I don’t want a cocky sub approaching me who thinks I’m lucky to hear from him. I don’t want them to treat all Dommes the same (read my profile for a start to see what I say about myself instead of just messaging blandly without reading). I don’t like moany subs. Also don’t like Doms who think I would submit if I met a decent Dom. Nope. I do prefer a sub approaching me with a nice message and conversation. Not a silly one liner or general sub to Domme sentence they must send to everyone. If their message indicates they have actually looked at my profile then that’s good! And if I ask what they are looking for etc then I do prefer them to actually answer my question rather than say they will do what they’re told.

So some of it was refreshing to hear ☺️

[Deleted Member]

One hundred!!! I totally agree with you but something about the author and tone just makes me cringe. Not saying some of it isn’t valid lol I kinda feel the same about male gynecologists lol please don’t talk to me about something you’ve never actually experienced. I don’t care about your Harvard PHD, I want you to know how it felt to push a 10 in baby head out of your vag! lol you get my flow. Also, the stupid one liners have to go and FET for the love of god please remove the corny suggested messages lol

[Do****]

Arrogant. That’s what he sounds like to me. Not someone I would want as a sub 😂

[Deleted Member]

44 minutes ago, DommeDelight said:

Arrogant. That’s what he sounds like to me. Not someone I would want as a sub 😂

Btw I read your profile. We are so similar!!! Would love to chat if you ever have time. I couldn’t message you due to filters.

[forever_slave_7]

May I ask Madame what you think about a simple approach like: PM Dear Madame is there anything that I can do to please you?

[Ve****]

38 minutes ago, forever_slave_7 said:

May I ask Madame what you think about a simple approach like: PM Dear Madame is there anything that I can do to please you?

That’s is a question you ask me after we’ve met and agreed to relate this way. It is not appropriate, in my mind, to greet a complete stranger this way. But other than that, what a nice question. I enjoy being asked that very much.

[Deleted Member]

46 minutes ago, forever_slave_7 said:

May I ask Madame what you think about a simple approach like: PM Dear Madame is there anything that I can do to please you?

Agreed. Talk to us like normal human beings you are hitting on and get to know me before you ask me how you can please me. I don’t know what I want to do with you until I have an idea of who the heck you are. We are not kink dispensers.

[forever_slave_7]

3 hours ago, Velicious said:

That’s is a question you ask me after we’ve met and agreed to relate this way. It is not appropriate, in my mind, to greet a complete stranger this way. But other than that, what a nice question. I enjoy being asked that very much.

thanks, my pleasure to ask. So what do you think is the best way for a Sub to introduce himself to a lady please?

[forever_slave_7]

2 hours ago, PlayfulDomme said:

Agreed. Talk to us like normal human beings you are hitting on and get to know me before you ask me how you can please me. I don’t know what I want to do with you until I have an idea of who the heck you are. We are not kink dispensers.

ok sure. understand. So basically would you prefer a standard approach first?

[Deleted Member]

58 minutes ago, forever_slave_7 said:

ok sure. understand. So basically would you prefer a standard approach first?

I can’t speak for all dommes. We all want something different but I would think everyone would want at least a regular greeting and niceties initially.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, forever_slave_7 said:

ok sure. understand. So basically would you prefer a standard approach first?

Something I've found over the years.

Going in completely cold is difficult.  There's no magic bullet or standard approach.  

But, generally, what is it about the person you are contacting that particularly interests you. And there's a big difference here to if you're contacting someone because they're a Domme, to contacting someone because there's something in common (especially if it's other than kinks!) or something that interests you and you can show it.

But what helps again, is if you can go in warm.  If it's someone you've had rapport with on forums or in chat.  Because then when they see they have a message from you in their inbox, you're not just another rando. 

[Th****]

6 hours ago, forever_slave_7 said:

ok sure. understand. So basically would you prefer a standard approach first?

Another tip is to actually *thoroughly* read their profiles first. Many will include the answer to this. 

[ey****]

this does lead to a next common thought - a common complaint from men is that they'll see someone's profile with "nothing to go off" but then message anyway.

And... honestly this is difficult.  If a lady hasn't filled out her profile it could be for a number of reasons and a lot of them do mean it can be a bad time to message and even if they're super up for chatting they just haven't got round to putting up a profile, then there's still a big risk you won't be compatible.

There was a period where I thought "I don't message many people, maybe I should try harder" and honestly, those without a proper profile went nowhere*.  It turns out that being more selective is still what works for me.

(*some found the overawe a bit much.  some were looking for mono and I'm not. some didn't know what they wanted. some were just curious. some had a boyfriend and thought a blank profile would stop messages... ha)