Sheree-5810 Posted June 22, 2018 Posted June 22, 2018 I have been married for going on 20 years now and am into domination and bondage. My husband has been trying to talk me into sleeping with another man while he watches....that is not my thing I don't like to share or be shared but he gets angry when I tell him this and states that I make him feel embarrassed and ***ed off that he told me his fantasy and I am blowing him off.....I am very open minded with sex and willing to try anything as long as it is just the two of us....what should I do? Any advise would be helpful
Deleted Member Posted June 22, 2018 Posted June 22, 2018 Never do anything that you are not comfortable or happy doing. It is also grossly unfair of him & incredibly selfish of him to react that way when you tell him. He says he's embarrassed & ***ed off when you tell him & yet he does not give any consideration to how you would feel about having to do such a thing & he obviously doesn't care about your feelings. Just because he has this fantasy does not mean you should have to fulfill it for him if you really don't want to.
Deleted Member Posted June 22, 2018 Posted June 22, 2018 Stick to your guns and tell him to wind his neck in. YOU and YOU alone decide what happens to your body and if he doesn't like it tough fucking shit. If he's your Dom as well as husband he's doing a very good impersonation of an emotionally blackmailing, manipulative bully and you should tell him so..and frankly I'd bin his ass and find someone worthy of your devotion because he ain't it. Might be worth finding a 'fantasy' you know he won't participate in, and push and poke and prod him with that..not saying you have to do it..but so you can make him feel , in a very real way..because guys like that seldom listen to words..how he's making YOU feel. (Apologies for the bad language, but grrrrr!)
BigPolly Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 Wowzers .... I’ve typed out 2 replies but deleted both as they were both too harsh however, I think you already know the answer on what you should do about this vile bullying situation! That IS NOT a true D/S situation!! And people that try & bully their subs like that give real Doms a bad name. There is no respect there at all for him to emotionally blackmail you like that....I know he’s your husband but from this post, he sounds truly vile. Sorry 😬 Personally married or not....I’d be looking to find myself a true honest & respectful Dom
ey**** Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 just to add to the noise. Pushing you to something you're not happy with is not consensual.
ca**** Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 Regardless of this being a dom situation or not - tell him again it does not work for you and in that sense it is not desirable.
Lugnut-4292 Posted June 23, 2018 Posted June 23, 2018 It sounds like he is being a dick. He clearly has a bit of an issue he needs to sort out, this is his problem to deal with. If you can't sort this out by sitting down like adults and talking it through and it is having a significant impact on your marriage then maybe both talk it through with a councilor? It is a shame to fuck up a long marriage over something like this. He obviously does not understand that no means no. L
3S**** Posted June 25, 2018 Posted June 25, 2018 How can you make him feel embarrassed if it's only his fantasy? That doesn't even make sense. I can understand him being ***ed off but as an adult he'll have to learn how to handle disappointment appropriately. Not sure why he's trying to *** this fantasy onto you, i would look into that. Don't have any advice for you but i also do wonder if you're in an abusive relationship or if he is a sex addict as sometimes that can push people to seek out more sexually as they get bored with what they're doing and need that 'buzz/high' from sex to be able to cope with life. His lack of respect for you could be either of these things, imo, maybe both.
Deleted Member Posted June 25, 2018 Posted June 25, 2018 Your profile shows interested in 'couples'...had you thought you wanted that ..
Deleted Member Posted June 27, 2018 Posted June 27, 2018 It needs to be a joint conclusion and if one has doubts but plays along to satisfy the other, it will generate resentment. I had a similar dilemma with an ex my self. I am personally glad I didn't go completely through with it. There are ways your partner can act out the fantasy of you being taken by another man as I'm sure you are aware. I found this out myself and it actually improved our role play at the time
subbie00 Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 it has to work for both of you. it has to be mutually consensual.
Sheree-5810 Posted August 10, 2018 Author Posted August 10, 2018 Thank you all for your feed back we did have one hell of a blow up from this last week we're I told him that if he was to push the issue I would file for divorce and he could sleep with as many ppl he wanted and that he needed to go into counseling for sexual addiction he has agreed and states that he was wrong that he's looking for something but he doesn't know what so we are taking it one day at a time and will see where this goes
3S**** Posted August 10, 2018 Posted August 10, 2018 I found SAA to be very good, now i'm in a relationship i am seeking them out again for support before we even get to a stage where i cause any problems. I wish you both luck, stuff like this can take time to understand and process but can be sorted.
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