Messaging People

[Du****]

59 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

Yes there are - and these profiles are ones which almost without exception I would never even consider messaging. Aside from those who are "trying their luck" I don't get why anyone would want to try to make such a connection, and these profiles typically have no photos either, which seems important to a lot of entititled mindsets. What is the appeal of a blank slate?

I’ve just had one like that! Nothing to go on in the profile, and sent a message just saying “Hello”. So I rolled my eyes and invited him to introduce himself (generous of me) and he replied - wait for it - “anything you want to know, just ask”. Mate, I just did! Dear oh dear 🤣

[ey****]

I like the ever hopeful "anything you want to know, just ask" - mate, no one cares. 

[Deleted Member]

So, most of the time that I don’t reply, is because of lack of interest, I’m not on this much anymore, or I didn’t see the notification. 
 

so when I do reach out to someone on this app, I try and be as friendly as possible (my goals are for discussion and friendship, not for a dynamic or etc) I give them the benefit of the doubt, they are probably busy with life, just as I am. I never try to *** a conversation, and I try not to rush things.

you can be rude however, or non responsive, that doesn’t phase me. All sorts of people go through all sorts of issues every day, and those have an effect on how they deal with things.. and I’m not one to judge. 

[Deleted Member]

Life is just too short. It's their issue if they get upset. You're allowed to say no thanks. I'm new here and have had a person message me. I've told them I'm not interested and prefer not to chat in private. As far as I'm concerned I'm moving on. The matter has been dealt with. If someone was rude to me, I'd just block and move on. I'm not going to give them my energy. It's just too draining. 

[Lotuspetal]

In the top right corner in the recieved message text page, are three little dot press this, and you have menu of choices to deal with the correspondence ,one option is to senda pre written not interested message, and another on that blocks the correspondent completely, upto now i have had no problems, but lets wait and see...

[sh****]

Bad behavior should always be punished 😘

[Deleted Member]

Saturday at 05:56 PM, Finally_Jen said:

I simply do not reply. Why bother being rude?
If not interested do not respond. They cannot message back if you do not respond either. They will move on to someone else. No matter who it is, people handle rejection badly on all platforms. It is no different here. But, you do not owe them an explanation. I get being polite to decline, but if it is just making things more stressful for you, just...let them go.
I had to learn that the hard way. From any gender may I add. I just don't waste my time or theirs now if they are not what I seek.
Sorry that you get ***, but I am not at all shocked, it is just too common now.

When I say rude, I meant rude and not reply.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you everyone for all your responses. It’s nice to see this from different peoples perspectives.

[Deleted Member]

Sunday at 07:47 AM, brighton-and966 said:

Why do u try to be polite? Out of interest.

Just because if someone reached out, they made an effort, it’s nice to respond.

[Pa****]

This is what I'm so afraid of. Convincers and pushers. It's my day one

[Deleted Member]

Tuesday at 07:58 PM, Pandalyn said:

This is what I'm so afraid of. Convincers and pushers. It's my day one

I hope your first few days were fun! Maybe take some advice from some of the people above with being new and how to deal with messages.

[za****]

I like receiving perverted messages and sending perverted messages

[Du****]

These ***rs are just perverted narcisdistic weirdos in most cases why bother writing back? They will reply with *** because their huuuge ego cant accept the reality- they aren't so wanted as they think in their delided mind. Remember narcissistic mind think they are so good looking, so intelligent evyone desires them. But if that delusion slips, they fall in depression. If happens repeatedly , their childhood trauma flashbacks return, their personality falls apart, they can have something like narcissistic rage, thats the moment their ego takes over their brain , loosing control over themselves, become ***, hysterical, threatening others  
Thats how super sensitive they are. Narcissists do not like to be refused.
This site is a nest for them so better to not answer. You protect yourself. Some can be highly manipulative and can trap you in their net cos they will go trough ypur profile, your written history, gind what you exacy want to hear and trap you. Its because the only way narcisdist can get woman is by being very manipulative and pretentious with completely fake persona that suits your expectations.
You are too nice for this site.

[Du****]

I like receiving perverted messages and sending perverted messages

In my case youd receive something on this line: show me what you got first, i want to see your face with dick before choosing.
Their reactions are priceless :D
Its because narcissist is confused. He does not know if i am serious or not, he doesnt know if he should go ahead and make idiot of himself, he doesnt like the feministic approach but want sex, so i let their walnut brain work.

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, zapatamakita said:

I like receiving perverted messages and sending perverted messages

I don’t think that’s an issue. You like what you like but maybe the person you’re messaging initially doesn’t like that. Wouldn’t it be nice to be respectful, see what they want and then know if you both want to send similar messages? I’m sure you don’t randomly walk up to someone in Starbucks and open with a perverted line! You might say hi first.

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, DuckArtist said:

These ***rs are just perverted narcisdistic weirdos in most cases why bother writing back? They will reply with *** because their huuuge ego cant accept the reality- they aren't so wanted as they think in their delided mind. Remember narcissistic mind think they are so good looking, so intelligent evyone desires them. But if that delusion slips, they fall in depression. If happens repeatedly , their childhood trauma flashbacks return, their personality falls apart, they can have something like narcissistic rage, thats the moment their ego takes over their brain , loosing control over themselves, become ***, hysterical, threatening others  
Thats how super sensitive they are. Narcissists do not like to be refused.
This site is a nest for them so better to not answer. You protect yourself. Some can be highly manipulative and can trap you in their net cos they will go trough ypur profile, your written history, gind what you exacy want to hear and trap you. Its because the only way narcisdist can get woman is by being very manipulative and pretentious with completely fake persona that suits your expectations.
You are too nice for this site.

I know what you’re saying but it’s sometimes nice to be nice if they have made the effort.

[Du****]

Dont tell me who i should be nice to. Mind your business.

[Deleted Member]

22 hours ago, DuckArtist said:

Dont tell me who i should be nice to. Mind your business.

I should have worded that differently, I’m only talking about myself here- I meant I find it nice to be nice if someone has sent a message to me and put in some effort. Each to their own and what they decide to do with messages and people on here- so I wasn’t getting involved in your business.

[Ki****]

I just set my filters to only accept messages from people I would consider… if they don’t peak my interest I don’t respond… because sometimes it’s just better to say nothing at all if you can’t say something nice… and NO ONE likes rejection

[Deleted Member]

@buffalo947... Reminder, you have a special trait Empathy, but protect it with an Iron Fist!!

[Deleted Member]

@buffalo947... Hate to say it, but alot people view it as a weakness, and try to use it for their own advantages. True, Authentic empathy is one of those traits that keeps the world from becoming cold and dark, but sadly disappearing.

[No****]

I encourage everyone to reply and engage more so that more of us new people become encouraged to have patience and perseverance along this new exciting lifestyle journey.❤️

[No****]

March 7, Finally_Jen said:

I could not disagree any more if I tried. 

My profile is clear what I do and do not want. People who do NOT read do not get a reply. If they are too LAZY to READ my profile why shouldn't I be "lazy" back and not reply?

You said it yourself... It is a two way street with communication. If people read, they don't waste their own time and someone elses, so what gives them the right to whinge that they get ignored when they have ignored EVERYTHING about someones profile besides the photos..?

 

To address the "dom/switch/sub" part.... Not everyone on this site is into dynamics. Not everyone wants to have a "role". Mine says what I am, what I seek and I still have people messaging me begging to sub to me, be a slave or even trying to 'dom' me. When they don't meet my age range preference, location reference or kink preferences/matches. 

So why should I waste my time replying? People are on here to meet other people into weird and wonderful sex, kink stuff and shared fetishes. Not everyone needs a D/s dynamic to belong on here. 

 

And I agree about building a supportive community, but sadly when faced with those who don't respect your wishes laid out, you don't want to be around them so... Once people address their ability to read to know if they are suitable for a person, maybe then more people can reply and keep the community going.

Great points as well.

[ey****]

4 hours ago, NotWhyButWhyNot said:

I encourage everyone to reply and engage more so that more of us new people become encouraged to have patience and perseverance along this new exciting lifestyle journey.❤️

but this then gets into the old problem of expecting people's time and effort.    What I would encourage new folk to do is to get involved and engage in the forum - ask questions, respond to others, listen and learn : don't do any of the "wahhh - no one replies to my messages posts" cos the beacon this sends up to women is that you message lots of people

[ge****]

4 hours ago, NotWhyButWhyNot said:

I encourage everyone to reply and engage more so that more of us new people become encouraged to have patience and perseverance along this new exciting lifestyle journey.❤️

Agree totally with eyem's post above but also not sure how people replying and engaging more would encourage newbies to have patience and perseverance? Surely it would have the opposite effect? 🤔