Deleted Member Posted March 6, 2022 Posted March 6, 2022 I have started to be honest with myself about why I haven’t put myself out there. The last couple of years it was largely in part because the world decided to hit a new level of crazy. This past year my primary excuse was something else. I will always have something going on.. when it comes down to it I am scared. II am scared of being hurt again. I’m scared of caring for someone and they don’t feel the same way. I am scared that someone will care for me and I wont feel the same way and I hurt them. I am scared that my person isn’t out there. So universe here I am putting my self out there. Please be kind… What is your excuse (I get that you are trying or you wouldn’t be here)
pi**** Posted March 7, 2022 Posted March 7, 2022 Thats why there are rules. Clearly gives an understanding. Hurting or being hurt should be out of the equation
Deleted Member Posted March 7, 2022 Author Posted March 7, 2022 Status, it's the Status for me. Sounds dumb but for example: Car? Nope, don't have a Car as I've been riding Motorcycles for 12 Years (20 in total) in all kinds of weathers. I never had the need to go and make a Car license and then buy a Car. But with a Woman by my side, I'd have to make a car license and buy a Car because 99% of the people aren't willing to ride Bikes in "shitty" conditions. IF she hasn't gotten one herself that is! But even then, what kind of Woman would date a Guy that doesn't drive a car? Good paying job? Nope - it gets me through the Month with a bit left for leisure spendings but that's really about it. It's all things that aren't necessarily attractive "traits".
Br**** Posted March 7, 2022 Posted March 7, 2022 Not wanting to feel like a burden plus what you said
Ch**** Posted March 7, 2022 Posted March 7, 2022 Hi! Mental health activist here, I work with all sorts of people. It is completely normal to feel scared about the unknown, and unpredictability with relationships. As much as I hate to say it, that will never go away until you face your *** and start talking to people. My recommendation for you is that you start out by looking for friends (creating less impact if it doesn’t work), then taking it from there. Don’t try to dive right in, because that will only make your anxiety spike. Just from your message, I could see that you are very sensitive in a compassionate/heart felt way. You have so much potential for finding the right one and ik you can do it! I just think it would be best for you to take it slow. 1 message, 1 phone call, and/or one meetup at a time 🙂. You know what they say “slow but steady wins the race”. Stay strong, stay positive, and keep fighting in the name of love champ, you got this! Dms are open if needed ❤️.
Deleted Member Posted March 7, 2022 Author Posted March 7, 2022 Don’t let *** hold you back. There is comfort in knowing but there is excitement in concurring what holds you back. Use the *** to guide you to good choices. There will always be something we can *** but great friends and good stories can help everyone. Hope this helps
gl**** Posted March 7, 2022 Posted March 7, 2022 I gained weight and didn’t like what I see so I told myself why would anyone else like me. So I felt I haven’t been physically good enough.
Deleted Member Posted March 7, 2022 Author Posted March 7, 2022 Thank you for being *** and honest here. You will inspire others to do the same I hope. I think your experiences resonate with many people here. They do with me. There is *** of being rejected or misunderstood or that there just isn’t someone out there for you. There is. It may take time.
ge**** Posted March 7, 2022 Posted March 7, 2022 A variety of factors if I am honest - I came out of an LTR about a year ago, almost immediately jumped into a new relationship which didn't last long, then developed a physical condition which had an effect mentally and on my confidence (which has never been great anyway) - couple all that with not being one to be pushy, or go chasing others if I'm not certain there is a mutual attraction both ways, and it's all added up to me not putting myself out there. . That doesn't mean I'm not ready to do so though, but prefer to take more of a back seat and see what happens kind of thing.
Deleted Member Posted March 7, 2022 Author Posted March 7, 2022 Frankly I’m tired of ending up wasting my time and/or being used(not the fun way dang it). Investing the effort into getting to know someone and in turn them you, only to be ghosted or only called on when it suits them. Wanting to build a mutually beneficial partnership shouldn’t be like trying to nail jello to a tree. It takes effort and actually putting forth that effort into communication; not things being one sided. I don’t want to know ‘what’s up’, I want to know what keeps you up at night when your mind won’t stop roaming. Precisely the point of building a long term relationship, romantic or friendship.
da**** Posted March 7, 2022 Posted March 7, 2022 My excuse is that I’ve been out of the dating scene for while, and having no idea how to get back into it.
sm**** Posted March 7, 2022 Posted March 7, 2022 We just decided as a couple to go all in with this new lifestyle but we are having a hard time finding people that fit us and are relatively close.
Vi**** Posted March 7, 2022 Posted March 7, 2022 (edited) My excuse, *** and building up a rapport online or text then being a disappointment when they meet me. So rejection definitely. Id rather put up a wall. Married 15yrs now single for 2 had casual meet ups with friends of friends, but I always end up cancelling or the conversation drys up when they realise I'm not fucking them there and then. Tis hard, i have 2 kids and im not as fit as i once was. So my confidence can get rocked a little. I guess we have to just take the plunge. But I like the comment above about just meeting as friends then seeing what happens, takes the pressure off then. Edited March 7, 2022 by Vic1077
Si**** Posted March 8, 2022 Posted March 8, 2022 Your second half is in the universe… you just need to let go of the past and learn to love yourself first. Cause if you don’t love yourself you won’t be able to let others in or heal from your past… there’s room to be cared for but the question is; are you ready to let go? I have had an opportunity to host a kinky event with women who were ones in a abusive relationship ( weather emotional or physically) we talked about moving forward from it… it’s very simple; first know that you’re not the cause of whatever happened to you in the past and love who you are cause you went through it and you’re still here kicking it, secondly let go… I know it’s not easy but you have to let go for you to heal completely. Lastly let others in, give it your all again, one thing you should know is that this person isn’t the cause of your past experience or trauma but just wanna help you heal. It takes two to tango…
Deleted Member Posted March 8, 2022 Author Posted March 8, 2022 Been single awhile and haven’t found anyone I connect with enough to meet up but I am putting myself out there more and hoping to find a good d/s dynamic after proper vetting and trust building
Deleted Member Posted March 8, 2022 Author Posted March 8, 2022 I’ve been in a string of complicated situations because I’ve never really believed I can achieve much. I shy away from trying and give into anxiety, I think this is why most of us look for comfortable situations, no need to continue the ***ful pursuit
Sw**** Posted March 10, 2022 Posted March 10, 2022 I was in a marriage for 6 years and wanted to explore and came out as pan to my then wife. It ended our marriage which was my biggest *** because I thought I wouldn't be able to see my kids as often. I was in deep depression for weeks and it was the most trying time of my life. Things worked out though and Turns out i see my kids a lot and I'm happier now that I'm able to explore. Don't be afraid of who you are and face it head on. Always be open and honest up front and if that person can't accept it, then they don't have to be part of your life.
Li**** Posted March 10, 2022 Posted March 10, 2022 My excuse is I'm happier not being out there 😁 I am re-learning after another failed freaky relationship to love me, before looking cos it just attracts the wrong kind of person. 😂 Can't get much worse than a controlling vanilla drunk tho can it???
gi**** Posted March 16, 2022 Posted March 16, 2022 I don’t put me out there cas I wanna be myself but not judged on it! I’m a bi m sub n want to be trained by a mistress or muss& master couple as there / her sex toy
Deleted Member Posted March 16, 2022 Author Posted March 16, 2022 So so so proud of you. Welcome to the most honest wonderful crazy world that will indeed lift you and hurt you and help you grow and glow and blossom into the wonderful womanyou were meant to be! Hugs hugs. Sending love and light on your journey
Deleted Member Posted March 17, 2022 Author Posted March 17, 2022 Congratulations! Since we're too far away from each other for anything but chat, let me be brutally honest. As scary as it is to stick your neck out, for *** of an axe, what I regret most in my life is the things I didn't do, opportunities let pass. Life is too short, take risks, learn from mistakes, but don't stop living. Just existing day to day will leave you feeling hollow, and maybe (like me) lonely in the end. I could go on, but when I read what I've written, it sounds kind of sappy.
Un**** Posted March 21, 2022 Posted March 21, 2022 I love me. I know my creator loves me. The universe guides us to our best life, but we have to be aware and follow our paths signs. I have spent most of my life having to take a different direction from my path because of obligations and responsibilities. Outing others first and then becoming a bitch from the frustrations. I'm sick of that. But also coming out of a lot of years of.... I have anxiety at times, and I don't want to hurt myself jumping in too fast, or anyone else, but also ready to live and have fun, comfort, passion and hopefully love again. And I'm a lot braver and adventurous than I or anyone have me credit for. Thank you and lovely to meet everyone.
Recommended Posts