Deleted Member Posted March 10, 2022 Posted March 10, 2022 Is anyone else here just super free-spirited and tends to rub ppl the wrong way bc of it??? Like I’m just trying to live my life & be how I wanna be. People get upset when I don’t text them back or don’t want a relationship. I just feel like a bird that everyone wants to cage fr
Deleted Member Posted March 10, 2022 Author Posted March 10, 2022 I think just be patient and you will meet somebody that frees your spirit from the cage. There has to be somebody that matches your desires and needs!
Do**** Posted March 10, 2022 Posted March 10, 2022 There's nothing wrong with you, you should never think that. Surely there's someone out there who'd definitely be in tune with you without any constraints involved.
bu**** Posted March 10, 2022 Posted March 10, 2022 I always tend to rub people up the wrong way, mainly because (in this free Liberal world) I don't conform to what I am told I have to conform to!
Deleted Member Posted March 10, 2022 Author Posted March 10, 2022 Find better people, then^^ Lots of people are uncreative, mentally small or just a**holes. They have their norms and rules and "right way of being" because they can't cope in a world without. Don't let anyone push you into rules they need. Or they're just trying to harass you, even worse obviously. Do as you please. As long as you don't hurt anybody (without consent) it's your business. And there's plenty of people to find out there who'll appreciate you for it and who you are and totally fit your vibe.
jb**** Posted March 10, 2022 Posted March 10, 2022 I feel like that too, finding what you want is very difficult now
Deleted Member Posted March 10, 2022 Author Posted March 10, 2022 Being as free spirited as you want is fine, there's nothing wrong with that. Tho, you're mis-applying it here. Texting people back or giving a relationship a shot are things you do or don't do for reasons more complex than 'they'd add constraints to my life' especially since neither of those things HAVE to constrain you. Your two examples seem kinda weird to me, I mean you have have open relationships and as long as you don't just completely ghost them you can reply to people as and when the mood strikes and people won't get too mad. Feels like your feeling caged by some things that arn't really all that constraining. Tho in general doing things 'your way' is always going to rub people the wrong way. That's to be expected, if that's a problem for you, well you might not actually be as free spirited as you envisioned yourself. You might be pushing yourself to act a lot more callous than you are, purely because you're attracted to the idea of being a free spirit. It's a stretch on my part, not trying to attack your identity, it's just worth giving the idea a turnover. Tho, to be perfectly honest, this is a good problem to have, at least you're not a complete people pleaser. Too many problems are caused by people trying to make EVERYBODY happy and still get theirs.
25**** Posted March 10, 2022 Posted March 10, 2022 You live your life and don’t give a damn what others think :)
Deleted Member Posted March 10, 2022 Author Posted March 10, 2022 1 hour ago, OneKinkToRuleThemAll said: Being as free spirited as you want is fine, there's nothing wrong with that. Tho, you're mis-applying it here. Texting people back or giving a relationship a shot are things you do or don't do for reasons more complex than 'they'd add constraints to my life' especially since neither of those things HAVE to constrain you. Your two examples seem kinda weird to me, I mean you have have open relationships and as long as you don't just completely ghost them you can reply to people as and when the mood strikes and people won't get too mad. Feels like your feeling caged by some things that arn't really all that constraining. Tho in general doing things 'your way' is always going to rub people the wrong way. That's to be expected, if that's a problem for you, well you might not actually be as free spirited as you envisioned yourself. You might be pushing yourself to act a lot more callous than you are, purely because you're attracted to the idea of being a free spirit. It's a stretch on my part, not trying to attack your identity, it's just worth giving the idea a turnover. Tho, to be perfectly honest, this is a good problem to have, at least you're not a complete people pleaser. Too many problems are caused by people trying to make EVERYBODY happy and still get theirs. Yeah you definitely have some good points. I just didn’t feel like making a super long post or being very descriptive so I can see why the vague description was misleading! Also, I’m not a free spirit in every aspect of life, but specifically in my relationships w ppl
Deleted Member Posted March 10, 2022 Author Posted March 10, 2022 Being who you are and/or want to be is your choice. Having a relationship of whatever kind depends on two willing participants. If one or both discovers it doesn’t work, then let it go. A simple, “thank you for the text but I’m not interested “. A little politeness goes a long way and makes you feel good too.
Deleted Member Posted March 10, 2022 Author Posted March 10, 2022 1 hour ago, bukwik said: Being who you are and/or want to be is your choice. Having a relationship of whatever kind depends on two willing participants. If one or both discovers it doesn’t work, then let it go. A simple, “thank you for the text but I’m not interested “. A little politeness goes a long way and makes you feel good too. The problem with texting that is a lot of the time people ignore it and they just keep texting anyway. I have had that happen several times. I have even been insulted and been called a frigid fat bitch for not being interested. So a lot of the time I just don’t answer if I am not interested anymore.
ps**** Posted March 10, 2022 Posted March 10, 2022 I tend to rub people the wrong way too. It’s just my personality tho.
Deleted Member Posted March 11, 2022 Author Posted March 11, 2022 12 hours ago, nattyxoxo said: Yeah you definitely have some good points. I just didn’t feel like making a super long post or being very descriptive so I can see why the vague description was misleading! Also, I’m not a free spirit in every aspect of life, but specifically in my relationships w ppl Fair enough, although, I'd personally encourage you to be free spirited but more importantly independent in all aspects of life, I think the world would be a better place if we all held ourselves to our own judgement instead of relying on others to judge us. But that's the secret here, you need to disregard how other people feel and react and base your decisions on how them feeling and acting that way makes YOU feel, not just in the moment but really think on it, you need to replace your reflex with introspection. Or, at least, that's the way I've found to be independent and content in my relationships, without those two things being at odds.
Ri**** Posted March 11, 2022 Posted March 11, 2022 Maybe its my age speaking but speaking for myself: i dont mind to be told 'no, thanks ' or similar words but i do appreciatie it if it's at least communicated to me. Not texting back (im talking about not texting back at all; not 'its been 2 minutes and i havent heard from you!') comes awfully close to ghosting and personally i find that impolite. You dont owe anybody here a relationship or whatever but there is a thing as common courtesy. Again, maybe its my age talking but politeness never hurts.
sc**** Posted March 12, 2022 Posted March 12, 2022 I didn’t particularly treasure human relationships once I finished high school. I sure didn’t want the responsibility involved in nurturing relationships. I had things to do and I just needed time to do them without distractions. In time, I found that my inattentiveness to relationships was hurting people, genuinely. That ***ed me off because it felt like I was being manipulated and dragged towards
sg**** Posted March 14, 2022 Posted March 14, 2022 The time of life where a lot of people need validation. I have some what of the same relations. With people a response is due where it seems deemed to be placed. Let them be and enjoy your peace
St**** Posted March 14, 2022 Posted March 14, 2022 I have had a lot of problems on this site with similar issues. I was also not looking for a relationship and I got several mean responses when I communicated my wishes. I was very frustrated because I am naturally a polite person and tried to respond to each person who contacted me. After about the 5th person who didn’t listen and got angry with me for being politely firm I stopped responding.
Tj**** Posted March 15, 2022 Posted March 15, 2022 I just stopped caring how people seen me. To frustrating. Will wear you out. I just want to live my life and enjoy what I can.
bl**** Posted April 7, 2022 Posted April 7, 2022 People say one thing then never come through! I don’t sweat it at all validation maybe, or that whole chase nonsense. If it isn’t mutual I’m bored. It’s not about doing extra to catch peoples attention. But are you interested or not, I’m not penpal for you.
pa**** Posted April 24, 2022 Posted April 24, 2022 At some point you gotta make some submissions for the ones you want … just the way it is… if your not there for them, why would you expect them to be when you want something? - the times you are count, but the more people you put between them the worse it gets… it’s bs… your not free..
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