Your First Munch

[CopperKnob]

In two years, I hadn't been to a munch. I've blamed the pandemic, various lockdowns and being far too busy at work.

I was lying.

I was scared.

What if I don't fit in? What if they don't like me? What if I don't like them?
I overthought it, built it up to the point that it became as scary as 
Isla de las Muñecas is supposed to be.

So, the pandemic is better controlled,  lockdowns have ended, work will always be unmanageable.

I'd run out of excuses. It was time to face the doll's. Or, at least other kinsters. In real life. En masse.

And so I went...

When you arrive, the initial 10-minute interview will establish if you have enough BDSM experience to deserve any kinky company. If you fail the mandatory written “Consent and Negotiations” exam, you will be asked to complete a role play based on consent and negotiations. In. Front. Of. Everyone 😱

If you pass the test, they’ll give you The Kinky Password that lets you through to the next section of the pub. If you have vanilla fantasies like PiV sex and blowjobs, the Official Munch Psychic will shout, “You. Shall. Not. Pass!” and that is how you, and everyone one else, will know that you shall not pass.

Why are you looking at me like that? This is totally legit 😂

If you’ve not had PiV sex before or don’t know what PiV sex is, you’re unlikely to pass the third phase, but in case vanillas do manage to sneak through, the fourth phase volunteers will tie you to the St Andrews cross in the corner of the pub restaurant and cover your naked body in glitter. If you can stay there without whinging for the full duration of the munch, they'll remove your vanilla credentials and let you sit at the table at the next one.

True story 😂

You will be required to hand your phone to The Munch King, who will call everyone on your contacts list to tell them you’re kinky. This is for your own benefit because apparently kinksters who come out of the closet early, find the transition to their new kinky lifestyle much easier.

Stop being so sceptical. This is exactly how this works 😂

If you attend the munch wearing jeans and a t-shirt instead of a corset and a ball gag, a box containing said corset and ball gag will be provided for your convenience. You will be required to wear them. This is also for your benefit. I'm told that kinksters who feel like they fit in, transition to their new kinky lifestyle much easier.

Stop looking at me like that. What’s the alternative? That we just show up in vanilla clothes and talk about Peaky Blinders? Don’t be ridiculous.

[BigPolly]

😂😂😂

[Dr****]

I’m rather uncomfortably reminded of Margaret Thatcher. There’s no such thing as (kink) society

[CopperKnob]

11 minutes ago, DrLoc said:

I’m rather uncomfortably reminded of Margaret Thatcher. There’s no such thing as (kink) society

That's a response I was not expecting 😂😂

[Gh****]

here you thought would a drinks and general chat.. 😅😅

[Deleted Member]

I'd never really thought of going to a munch until I read this 🤣🤣

[ol****]

Wonderfully written as usual. 👌

[CopperKnob]

7 hours ago, Mirrors-6451 said:

I'd never really thought of going to a munch until I read this 🤣🤣

Definitely go!!