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What are the common misconceptions of this lifestyle you get asked about?


bl****

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Posted

the most common misconception, by far

is that someone who is kinky is "easy".

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I think another misconception is that a kinky “that’person is weird “
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That a submissive should be a bottom to all D types regardless of the respect they show her as a person. Show me respect and common decency and I’ll repay it. Call me a slut at a first interaction and you’ll be swiftly told to leave my inbox. I’m an s type to many but only a slut to one (at a time 😂)
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That this lifestyle is just about sex when the opposite is true
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That there is one ‚correct’ way to do it and all other ways of living this lifestyle are wrong. As long as both parties are happy, give consent and it’s safe, nobody should tell them what they do is ‚wrong’…
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Because I'm a unicorn with a m/f married couple and I can still have another gf, people commonly assume I've put myself in a dangerous situation. I always get told, "be careful".
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1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

the most common misconception, by far

is that someone who is kinky is "easy".

And conversely it's "easy" to be kinky 😏

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Another is … so you like it really rough?
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People thinking it’s just about sex or that you’re easy. For me, it’s about the control in a relationship/dynamic. Being able to connect with someone on a level that’s not just about BDSM is important. People thinking it’s just about the physical and not the mental. I could go on 😂
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I’ve actually had people text me saying I “have no idea what it’s like to be submissive” bc I don’t respond to them/am uninterested. Just because I’m a sub doesn’t mean I’m going to want ANY dominant man
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Many a time when I asked “what does Dominance mean to you?”
The answer came back
“Pull your hair, slap your arse and f*** you from behind”

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Or the idea that we all have major trauma we aren’t over and that’s why we are into it. Yes, I have trauma in my history, but i have endured years of therapy for it. 🙄
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Wow some of these replies are very interesting. Seems as if there should be some additional education about the lifestyle in simple terms. 🤔
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Mine is: whenever I attend an event I am perceived as a bull or breeding bull or gorilla 🦍. Trust me it happens being asked “you’re a silverback aren’t you? 🤦🏾‍♂️🤣
Posted
Some of the most common misconceptions I’ve found offensive are already listed;
That kinky means easy.
That submissive means you’ll do exactly as any dominant says.
That domination is just rough sex.
That kinks all come from unhealed trauma.
I think my favourite is the misconceptions around cnc…you slip it into a conversation and they’re instantly picturing the most abusive sex scenes possible…I’m like dude, I meant starting while I’m asleep 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Tbh though, I’ve found many misconceptions to actually come from members of this community.
Posted

Cause I swing both ways they think it's easy to get in my bed, In reality you need to be worthy to be in my bed 🧚‍♀️

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I’m poly. People thinks that I have many girlfriends, or I have to marry them or I’m having sex every day.

Also fifty shades of grey has damaged a lot of our scene…
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That I’m mentally sick or there’s something wrong with me that I like it. Or that I’m some sort of nymphomaniac.
Also, I’ve noticed, being a sub, that some “doms” think that what I want is to be used and ***d and then leave as soon as they cum. With absolutely no regard to aftercare and to check I’m ok. Huuuuge misconception. Subs want aftercare!! I might like it rough but I’m also a sensitive soul and don’t want to be treated like a sex doll. I’m a human being!!!
Posted
I think the most popular (or infamous, if I may add) is, "oh, you like it rough and degrading?"
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