Switching

[Is****]

Patience is key. Sometimes your attractions aren't necessarily your doms. And vice versa of course.

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, CautiousMemory said:

Not a sub, but from talking to a Domme I know, it seems there are a lot of fake subs just trying to get women into bed.

This is only me. He is 1000% correct!!👍  As a Switch, I had enough of the Entitled Wankers!

[kx****]

As a genuine sub looking for a dom, I can confirm this to be true

[Wi****]

I haven’t met anyone interested in talking to me at all.

[ey****]

a lot of the posts from guys go on to further rein*** my points above...

[Deleted Member]

Yep, to be a male and wanting to try being sub is hard. Its either scams or sub females 😔

[Wi****]

So true. I have done a considerable amount of both for years. I have had 5 different females whom have enjoyed pegging or bonding and ***. I have been loyal to those women ass long ass possible but I have to walk away because they seem to develop a hatred for me or maybe they constantly stay in a destained perspective. I haven’t given up looking for the right master in my life. I just want to be loved and enjoyed from my woman and trust her. I am real about this. Is always circumstances that intercede.

[Pe****]

Yesterday at 05:21 AM, yourzzz said:

No there are a lot of scammers 100% which makes it difficult. I’ve heard it goes both ways but can definitely 100% see where they are coming from. I’m a male sub and read this and felt it 100% because I’ve been looking for so long as well being scammed over and over and over

I think you can tell from the first few messages if they’re a scammer. I like to take the time to get to know someone first before any chat of kinks etc but most of the male subs I chat to just continually change the conversation back to “what would you do to me if xyz” etc. scammers don’t want to take a couple of weeks to chat and get to know you first so how can you see where they are coming from when I tell them that that’s what I want to do? I can’t see the point you’re making towards my original post?

[Pe****]

10 hours ago, kiseu said:

This is only me. He is 1000% correct!!👍  As a Switch, I had enough of the Entitled Wankers!

Haha!! Agreed!!

[Pe****]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

a lot of the posts from guys go on to further rein*** my points above...

Yep *sigh*

[Pe****]

14 hours ago, Beta4you said:

I mean yes generalizing is not great, but it is true that almost everyone person that has contacted me ( I am a sub) has been trying to use me for financial gain. To there are some that do this is a very large understatement that it seems you have not witnessed first hand. Maybe you have and you’ve had a different expierence, but I can assure you the dom females that try to get financial payments sent to them is WAY more than you think it is. Not trying to be mean or anything just trying to spread awareness

No offence taken at all. I totally get what you’re trying to say. I actually do feel sorry for male subs that they are taken advantage of by a lot of Dommes. And I know it happens A LOT. I’ve never ever as a female sub been approached by a male Dom trying to extort *** from me. As far as my opinions lay it’s only happening to male subs with Dommes.

The point I’m trying to make is, that there are also a lot of male subs that moan about this but when they come across someone that is genuine they just want to talk about it till the cows come home with no intention of ever meeting up but they insist they do but only want the explanations of what will be done to them etc. Its just time wasting wanting to continually drag on conversations that will never lead anywhere. 

[ey****]

for a couple more points

women are not in*** to scams but the most common form will not come from someone asking them for ***, but offering it.   Often by someone posing as a sugar daddy, or as a finsub.  Usually then either asking for something (cash, videos or pictures) first "to prove you're real" and then ghosting, or by posting some funds which will never clear into a pending state and then asking for some *** back ("oops, sent £2000 by mistake, you can keep most of that but I need £100 back for my bills" and so they do, but then the £2k disappears as it never clears or is charged back) I mean, to be honest, any lady who has ever been asked to prove they are real may well have been targeted by a scammer if, say, this was to send a photo or video the scammer is then using to catfish on another site.

but this is the other thing also is that scammers tend to move fast since, well, time is *** AND the longer they're on a site the more likely they are to be kicked off (hence why so many try to get people to hangouts) so one of the best ways to avoid being scammed is, funnily enough, getting to know someone.

The men who of course try to switch conversation to "what will we do" may, in essence, be running a scam of their own - if nothing else, tricking the lady they are engaging with into believing they want a relationship when really they just want chat and ideas to wank to. 

[we****]

15 hours ago, gemini_man said:

The question you have to ask yourself though is why do you think you're attracting that kind of contact? When others aren't - being blunt and not wishing to criticise but to be honest having looked at your profile I'd suggest it's exactly the kind of bait that the sharks that are out to fleece would go for with the way it's worded.
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And it's a common mistake many guys on here make - wording profiles as basically a wish list of D/s activities will attract precisely the wrong kind of attention.
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But again this is moving away from kaycie's OP which seems to have been overtaken by the usual "us male submissives have it so hard" mantra.
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Here you have a potential dominant, who through her forum interactions alone has shown me that she's genuine and looking for genuine submissives who aren't just interested in fantasy cyber talk and yet a large proportion of the male submissive who have joined the thread have fallen over themselves to moan about scammers when they have the perfect opportunity to demonstrate to someone who is actively looking and frustrated by fantasy subs that they are indeed genuine in wanting something more real.

Well said. A common factor among financially successful people is their willingness to grasp an opportunity when it arises..

[we****]

I am switch, but I deliberately pitch my profile here as sub, because being overtly Dom can feel like being a lamb at the petting zoo.
My experience is that some of the people who approach me appear to consider the sub role to be without responsibility (obviously, not well versed subs, I have met and talked on line to many delightful and respectful male subs). If you approach a potential Dom claiming your only wish is to please, then you need to be prepared to hear how the Dom likes to be pleased. I have countless conversations in the gist of “yeah, but how does fulfilling MY kink please you?” if you are expecting to have your needs met, with a smile and a have-a-nice-day, you are in the the realms of seeking a professional relationship imo 🤷🏻
If you seek the reward of pleasing someone, learn what pleases them rather than hoping they will be pleased by meeting your needs..
It’s all been said before…

[ge****]

38 minutes ago, weaslekit said:

I am switch, but I deliberately pitch my profile here as sub, because being overtly Dom can feel like being a lamb at the petting zoo.
My experience is that some of the people who approach me appear to consider the sub role to be without responsibility (obviously, not well versed subs, I have met and talked on line to many delightful and respectful male subs). If you approach a potential Dom claiming your only wish is to please, then you need to be prepared to hear how the Dom likes to be pleased. I have countless conversations in the gist of “yeah, but how does fulfilling MY kink please you?” if you are expecting to have your needs met, with a smile and a have-a-nice-day, you are in the the realms of seeking a professional relationship imo 🤷🏻
If you seek the reward of pleasing someone, learn what pleases them rather than hoping they will be pleased by meeting your needs..
It’s all been said before…

You make some very good points that address both sides of the way this thread both started and has gone - all too often for men on sites like this it's about what's I'm it for them, or why they can't get what *they* want, or how *they* are being scammed etc- and this thread has exemplified that point all too clearly.
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As eyem said a lot of men seek to blame others for their lack of "success" rather than looking closer to home.
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As I've said several times now - here we have a thread started by kaycie about the problems she is having finding male submissives who are serious about anything more than frankly on-line wank fodder, and yet the overwhelming majority of her target audience that have joined have done nothing to address her points or suggest beyond one liners that they may be a suitable candidate or are looking for similar to her - the preference being to bemoan their own "luck".

[ey****]

there's so many points which keep pushing out more I feel I'd like to add.

Yep - a bit like @weaslekit above I am aware of many women who switch but usually present as sub online because they find it easier to deal with the poor Dominants in their inbox than the poor subs (and certainly don't want both!) and this also of course skews how many Dommes there appears to be.  

I also think there's a lot of things where.... it is OK to like, it's OK to want to do, and it's good that is part of an identity - but if you contact a lady going "Me sub, you Domme... let's meet up and I can kiss your feet and you can spank me and p**s on me" and it is just like a shopping list of fetishes - then - there's nothing wrong with those but it's then about what you want rather if you're a "genuine sub" (as too many claim to be) what you can offer.

Obviously, of course, there are some kinks that will be important to your relationship but making that the centre of any discussion is going to make it sound like you care more about finding someone who will go through your fetishes with you, rather than actually finding a Domme.

And I feel this is a big trap guys fall into that - of - course, we all have things we'd want met, but if we're submissive it's not about our wants first. 

[Deleted Member]

Only about me. I have no idea about the english speakers. The so-called Doms were more respectful of my "nos". So-called Subs were pushy. They would not stop!! After 6... one after the other, I had put No Subs/ Bottoms in my profile. Did not want to deal with another one.

[we****]

I think the point that @gemini_man made very eloquently is that if this is the pattern you are experiencing perhaps there are measures that you could take to alter that. Clearly not all submissive men are experiencing this, it is possible to create a profile that attract genuinely dominant women

[Pe****]

3 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

for a couple more points

women are not in*** to scams but the most common form will not come from someone asking them for ***, but offering it.   Often by someone posing as a sugar daddy, or as a finsub.  Usually then either asking for something (cash, videos or pictures) first "to prove you're real" and then ghosting, or by posting some funds which will never clear into a pending state and then asking for some *** back ("oops, sent £2000 by mistake, you can keep most of that but I need £100 back for my bills" and so they do, but then the £2k disappears as it never clears or is charged back) I mean, to be honest, any lady who has ever been asked to prove they are real may well have been targeted by a scammer if, say, this was to send a photo or video the scammer is then using to catfish on another site.

but this is the other thing also is that scammers tend to move fast since, well, time is *** AND the longer they're on a site the more likely they are to be kicked off (hence why so many try to get people to hangouts) so one of the best ways to avoid being scammed is, funnily enough, getting to know someone.

The men who of course try to switch conversation to "what will we do" may, in essence, be running a scam of their own - if nothing else, tricking the lady they are engaging with into believing they want a relationship when really they just want chat and ideas to wank to. 

Haha!!! Ideas to wank to😂 definitely!!

[Pe****]

2 hours ago, gemini_man said:

You make some very good points that address both sides of the way this thread both started and has gone - all too often for men on sites like this it's about what's I'm it for them, or why they can't get what *they* want, or how *they* are being scammed etc- and this thread has exemplified that point all too clearly.
.
As eyem said a lot of men seek to blame others for their lack of "success" rather than looking closer to home.
.
As I've said several times now - here we have a thread started by kaycie about the problems she is having finding male submissives who are serious about anything more than frankly on-line wank fodder, and yet the overwhelming majority of her target audience that have joined have done nothing to address her points or suggest beyond one liners that they may be a suitable candidate or are looking for similar to her - the preference being to bemoan their own "luck".

Online wank fodder!!! Love it 😂😂

[Deleted Member]

I’m a male switch and I give everyone a chance just nobody has contacted me for anything.

[Na****]

If you’re worried about being found be aware most pictures taken with a cell phone contain a gpa tag in them. The more you know

[Na****]

Gps haha

[ey****]

9 hours ago, kaycie said:

Haha!!! Ideas to wank to😂 definitely!!

when my wife started doing online sex work they were literally doing private message exchanges.   People were paying at a cost-per-minute for text-based-chat and getting off on the chat and discussion.

When you understand this, that this is something some men are happy to pay for - you can then understand the demand/appeal to men who want to try to get it for free.

[sp****]

As a female looking for conversation and Someone to possibly click with and see where it goes in real life I've come across all sorts. Subs offering themselves to me. Doms wanting to play with me. Very little meaningful conversation comes from these interactions. It's either meet up and let's play or the conversation ends. On other sites and apps I find men are looking for someone to exchange Pictures with occasionally for the purpose of scam fodder but more often than not they are real people looking for wank material. In my opinion and experience there are very few real genuine people looking for honest safe and respectful interactions online or in real life. I really feel for you and your frustrations but keep trying. Don't give up. One day you will find that Mr right who's genuine x x x and hopefully the submissive of your dreams