Deleted Member Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 I have just discovered I have been the victim of stealthing. Until last night I just thought I was a ***y fool and misjudged someone therefore it was my problem. I never really thought about the fact that at no time did I say unprotected sex is ok, it happened I was stupid so what, his gain my regret. I'm so fucking angry right now....
Je**** Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 Sorry what is Stealthing? I am confused on what this situation is?! Sorry if I am being insensitive x
Solar Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 @Finally_Jen it’s when one person removes the condom without knowledge or consent of the other.
Mo**** Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 1 minute ago, DuchessFeuille said: Is that a criminal offence? Because it should be 😡 It is!
typhoon2 Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 In England and Wales, which presumably is your legal code, stealthing is sex without consent. In simple terms, it's ***. It's up to you whether you go that route but at the very least I'd make him aware of the possibilities and maybe warn your local kink community of what happened since it may be a pattern. Sorry you've been deceived and used in this manner.
Deleted Member Posted May 5, 2022 Author Posted May 5, 2022 Thanks for asking Jen - I didn’t know either. I’m sorry to hear what happened and can understand the anger.
CopperKnob Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 @Pheonix2786 i'm sorry this happened. I'd be fuming as well. In fact I'd probably be arrested if it happened to me. It's ***. Theres no specific legislation in the UK currently, unlikely to be unless they amend the sexual offences act but the fact that there have been a few convictions means that there's case law. Whether you choose to report or not, I hope you have a good support network around you and that you've been able to/you're able to access the healthcare you need x
Du**** Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 Somewhere out there now - possibly - is a 27yo German who has never known their Canadian father. My violent ex boasted about what he did to someone else after I got away from him. There wasn’t a name for it back then, or a law. I still have nightmares.
CopperKnob Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 5 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said: Somewhere out there now - possibly - is a 27yo German who has never known their Canadian father. My violent ex boasted about what he did to someone else after I got away from him. There wasn’t a name for it back then, or a law. I still have nightmares. People make me sick
Go**** Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. You have every right to be angry, but also be prepared to go through other types of emotion as well as anger. I hope you have someone available for support 🤍
Vi**** Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 12 hours ago, Pheonix2786 said: I have just discovered I have been the victim of stealthing. Until last night I just thought I was a ***y fool and misjudged someone therefore it was my problem. I never really thought about the fact that at no time did I say unprotected sex is ok, it happened I was stupid so what, his gain my regret. I'm so fucking angry right now.... This is shocking I didn't know the term stealthing either, I'm disgusted that someone has been doing this to you. I hope you get some help and support, how did you realise this has been happening, did they come.clean about it. Some people are despicable.
Je**** Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 Ahh I had heard of the act but not a name for it. I thought it was desheathing or something. Apologies but I am also glad I asked, it's learned me a thing. Firstly, I am sorry that happened to you. It is definately an offence. And if you feel you can, want or need, you can go to the police and report it. Would be more beneficial if you have proof written, such as a confrontation or admittance with said person that they've done this to you. I hate human beings. Big hugs and I hope you are okay xxx
ge**** Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 Firstly so sorry this has happened to you - it's vile, disgusting, entitled behaviour and that is putting it mildly - agree with other posters that if you feel able you should report it.
FluttsW Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 Ok not trying to play devils advocate or anything else here just trying to make sure I understand completely what happened here. When you were discussing things.... ( I assume you did discuss things before playing? ) did you ever say you wanted condoms used?
Deleted Member Posted May 5, 2022 Author Posted May 5, 2022 I'm not reporting, but I have challenged the person involved and warned them that I have the dates, and results of my sexual health tests and I told my gp why I was worried. My gp pointed out that I could have reported it. I'm ok thanks. Just annoyed. I was chatting to someone last night I don't want to show, any indiscretion to that person but we were discussing negative experiences and they made me aware that what hapoened to me was stealthing.
Du**** Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 6 minutes ago, Pheonix2786 said: I'm not reporting, but I have challenged the person involved and warned them that I have the dates, and results of my sexual health tests and I told my gp why I was worried. My gp pointed out that I could have reported it. I'm ok thanks. Just annoyed. I was chatting to someone last night I don't want to show, any indiscretion to that person but we were discussing negative experiences and they made me aware that what hapoened to me was stealthing. I’m so sorry, Phoenix. In a week where we’re already reeling from the news of the SCOTUS leak, it’s another reminder of how far we still have to go. I’m absolutely broken by some of the stories I’ve been reading.
Deleted Member Posted May 5, 2022 Author Posted May 5, 2022 Thankfully pregnancy was not a risk factor... This old gal well past that.
Lo**** Posted May 5, 2022 Posted May 5, 2022 So sorry to hear you’ve experienced this. I hope you’re ok. Is he on this site?
BadDesires Posted May 6, 2022 Posted May 6, 2022 This is aweful, so sorry for what you going through. It's great to see you are getting plenty of support and advice to help you through this.
DaddyDominant89 Posted May 6, 2022 Posted May 6, 2022 (edited) Just seen this and don’t get me wrong I hate condoms but this is absolutely disgusting everything is about consent and at no point should anyone do this for power (for me it’s power play) why I like to not use protection… even then both party’s are screened and healthy! But yeh take his arse to jail disgusted! I hate bullies and I hope he rots! Sending love and no person in the world should be treated with such disregard not even my worste enemy would I wish what happened I am sure you feel violated… get justice! Edited May 6, 2022 by Dominantswitcher
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