BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Ok so there’s been several guys on here moaning about girls ignoring them etc when they message them. It’s also been covered on here about manners when we speak to one another. What I’d like is someone to please tell me that I’m not the only person on here that, when I say ‘No’ in a round about way on messenger that the person then continues to push!? In my eyes that’s not ok. I know I’m gorgeous & to get a knock back from me must be the worst 😬 but seriously do people actually believe that pushing is going to make someone change their mind? I say No in the politest way possible but sometimes I will loose it a little & often wish I’d just used the ‘no thanks button’, something that has been moaned about at on here. I am happy to chat to anyone but once I have made myself clear I don’t feel like I should then have to justify myself . so examples of what I’m saying/replying are ... ‘No thank you you’re a tad too young for me’ ”But age doesn’t matter to me” ’No thank you you’re a tad above the age I’m looking for’ ”But I have experience which you might like” ’No thank you I’m not into feet’ “But I want to worship yours” ’No thank you my profile clearly tells you I’m a sub not a Dom’ ”But I want to serve you Mistress” I feel really sorry for the ones who feel they can’t be as straight as me & get sucked into talking to someone they don’t want to. I could be rude & say ‘Get off your narcissistic creepy high horse’ but I won’t 😬 I’ll simply say, if someone says No then that means No! There’s no ‘but this’ or ‘but that’ ....No means No!
DebSouthCoast Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 I agree, though as a sub I always feel that urge to comply. So maybe I'd add, in my own case, give up after two tries, guys! It's not personal, after all--I love you all!
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Urgh! This. All of this. I’ve been really insulted and told I’m a shallow close minded human because I’ve politely told someone I’m not attracted to very young men (and I didn’t like his profile but was being polite) And exactly the same about feet and those who want to serve (I’m more sub than anything but certainly not wanting to be served) Been told I’m rude for not replying properly and various levels of shittiness for not replying to ‘hey’, ‘hello’, ‘nice tits’, ‘hey slut, & dick pic messages.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Hahahahaha you're highly addictive Polly 😂😂😂 I updated my profile yesterday for these reasons, I don't want to be rude and hate having my hand ***d but some people just don't get it, I'm not one to simply ignore people but I had to on a few occasions in the last few days, no indeed, means no xx
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Yeah. It gets annoying. Been there got the t-shirt
northern_dom Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 That speaks volumes about the person sending the message than it ever will about the person receiving it.
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 47 minutes ago, DebSouthCoast said: I agree, though as a sub I always feel that urge to comply. So maybe I'd add, in my own case, give up after two tries, guys! It's not personal, after all--I love you all! That’s exactly it! None of it is personal it’s just a mismatch & a knowledge of what you want or if you feel connected to someone or not. 😊
nondescriptcouple Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Sadly this is not unique to this site, to kink sites, to the internet, to life in general. I would be surprised if most ladies who have visited a vanilla club haven't been harassed by 'that man' who just won't take no. Say No, and if they reply block them. You do not need to deal with people who a) cannot read and b) have no manners. For some people (mostly men) kink sites are places to find free whores, who if you beg and plead long enough will give in and let you have some pity play. Of course that is rubbish but it doesn't stop them trying again and again and again. I have been on various kink sites for 12 years + and this question is asked over and over again. Sadly, it never changes, these people will always exist, and all you can do is hope they move onto another person, as it is doubtful they will ever change. If they have reached adulthood and do not understand what No means it is unlikely they ever will. Pessimistic I know, but that's reality for you.
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 45 minutes ago, mshopey said: Urgh! This. All of this. I’ve been really insulted and told I’m a shallow close minded human because I’ve politely told someone I’m not attracted to very young men (and I didn’t like his profile but was being polite) And exactly the same about feet and those who want to serve (I’m more sub than anything but certainly not wanting to be served) Been told I’m rude for not replying properly and various levels of shittiness for not replying to ‘hey’, ‘hello’, ‘nice tits’, ‘hey slut, & dick pic messages. Yayyyy to all the deluded dickheads who flop their knobs out for the camera & are under the illusion this will make women flock to them!? 🙄 Oh the old ‘you’re so shallow how will you know if you don’t try it’ line...that’s the best line. well it’s nice knowing I’m not the only one 😁x
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 44 minutes ago, Mrkonnekshunface said: Hahahahaha you're highly addictive Polly 😂😂😂 I updated my profile yesterday for these reasons, I don't want to be rude and hate having my hand ***d but some people just don't get it, I'm not one to simply ignore people but I had to on a few occasions in the last few days, no indeed, means no xx The worst ones are those that tempt you with their Cadbury Cream Eggs 😂 When you say ‘addictive’ I hope that’s in a good way & you don’t mean like heroin where I make you loose weight & your teeth fall out?! 🤔 I’m now off to perv....I mean look at your new profile write up 😁 xx
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 11 minutes ago, SweetSurrender said: Yeah. It gets annoying. Been there got the t-shirt We could get a job lot of Tshirts printed 😂
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Just now, BigPolly said: We could get a job lot of Tshirts printed 😂 Make a killing lol
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 10 minutes ago, northern_dom said: That speaks volumes about the person sending the message than it ever will about the person receiving it. Agreed & if I may be so rude as to say, I do occasionally look at people & think ‘really...you’re honestly pushing because you somehow believe you’re so incredible?!’ 😬
Wolverinelives Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 I’m still pritty new hear and as a guy am find hard to even brake the ice with the community here as I get little responce to a lot off messages. Reading your post made me think this could be why. Sorry to hear that this behaviour so going on
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 11 minutes ago, nondescriptcouple said: Sadly this is not unique to this site, to kink sites, to the internet, to life in general. I would be surprised if most ladies who have visited a vanilla club haven't been harassed by 'that man' who just won't take no. Say No, and if they reply block them. You do not need to deal with people who a) cannot read and b) have no manners. For some people (mostly men) kink sites are places to find free whores, who if you beg and plead long enough will give in and let you have some pity play. Of course that is rubbish but it doesn't stop them trying again and again and again. I have been on various kink sites for 12 years + and this question is asked over and over again. Sadly, it never changes, these people will always exist, and all you can do is hope they move onto another person, as it is doubtful they will ever change. If they have reached adulthood and do not understand what No means it is unlikely they ever will. Pessimistic I know, but that's reality for you. It’s also uncomfortable to watch people almost beg you to play with them....it’s not nice! In a vanilla club where people are drunk you kind of manage to deal with it but I believe because people have a screen to hide behind then they think that’s ok!? I also think because I’m a sub people don’t expect me to have a voice...I’m a female Brian Blessed & I have a very loud voice & im not afraid to use it 😬 x
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 3 minutes ago, Wolverinelives said: I’m still pritty new hear and as a guy am find hard to even brake the ice with the community here as I get little responce to a lot off messages. Reading your post made me think this could be why. Sorry to hear that this behaviour so going on Then I take a big bow to you for recognising this may be something standing in your way. Our community is amazing & open but we also know what we want & what we do & don’t like. That is always changing & developing at our own pace so we must be responsible for ourselves & not for telling others what they do/don’t want. Keep saying hello to people & you will find what you’re looking for 😊
nondescriptcouple Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 nondescriptcouple quote BigPolly :❝I believe because people have a screen to hide behind then they think that’s ok!? - I also think because I’m a sub people don’t expect me to have a voice.❞ The keyboard warriors, cock in hand, will type whatever their little member tells them too, hence the 'Hi slut' messages, also if you only read online BDSM porn you will presume that all subs drop to their knees, mouths open, whenever a Master enters a room. Sadly there is a huge disconnect between the reality and fantasy of kink, and that is where a lot of people who are new to the scene fall down. In the same way you should never go grocery shopping when hungry, newbies should never type and send a message when they are horny.
Novice1959 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 I agree with you no means no end of conversation.
li**** Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 (edited) I get this all the time also even though on my profile it says don't push me for a message or when I say no please don't get arsey with me. Why should we have to justify when a no is given in a polite manner, I'm never nasty with the no's or not interested I give out. Why can't guys just respect a woman wishes when a no is given its not rocket science a no means no, no oh well what if I did this or what about this. NO MEANS NO move on end of. Edited July 26, 2018 by Lilmonster
Andr3w089224 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 I agree completely however I'd also like to add a lot of females on here just rudely ignore or delete messages without even having the decency to reply and say no. If and when a no is said that's fine and maturely can go separate ways but ignoring is not a no it's just rude.
ca**** Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Andr3w089224 said: I agree completely however I'd also like to add a lot of females on here just rudely ignore or delete messages without even having the decency to reply and say no. If and when a no is said that's fine and maturely can go separate ways but ignoring is not a no it's just rude. I take the point you make here. However just because 'some' women do that -does not have anything to do with other women. If a man on here acts as a total feck wit - i shall not be making nay excuses or take any blame for him! Edited July 26, 2018 by callipygian my bad typing!!!!!!!!!!
Daddys_little_girl Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 I'm new here (but not to BDSM) and so have been getting a lot of messages from' Domley MCDoms' who think they can smell fresh meat lol . I was brought up to be polite and respond kindly to messages, but it does seem that there is a sence of self entitlement from a select few. It's a shame, I can imagine for those newer to the lifestyle that the harassment may be off-putting.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Sometimes I don’t reply to messages if the sender is not someone I’m looking for, and that comes down to a number of things... I have other messages to reply to from people that I’m speaking too. Saying no and still being hounded puts you in a mood where you decide F everyone I’m not going to rely to any of them. Sometimes I just have too many messages to reply to, and by the time I get round to replying, said person has sent another arsey message, which makes me think sod them! This doesn’t make people rude and ignorant, just sometimes you know how it’s going to pan out, because the message sent to you is either inappropriate, or it’s clear you’ve only been messaged because they like the look of your pictures, but haven’t read the details of your profile!
nondescriptcouple Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 26 minutes ago, Andr3w089224 said: I agree completely however I'd also like to add a lot of females on here just rudely ignore or delete messages without even having the decency to reply and say no. If and when a no is said that's fine and maturely can go separate ways but ignoring is not a no it's just rude. Really? Not replying to an unrequested message is rude? By what you are saying you seem to infer that people are obligated to reply to all messages received. If I received a rude or illiterate message I would not reply and wouldn't feel rude by doing so. Surely, as we are all adults we have the freedom to choose who we do or do not reply to?
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