Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 I cannot understand how guys who try to press their point or their feelings home after having been told no can even remotely expect this to make a positive impression on the lady or make her reconsider. They are showing themselves to have a complete lack of regard or concern for other people's feelings or wishes & merely full of themselves, & what part of that do they honestly think is going to appeal to anyone. Showing themselves up to be narcissistic, egotistical, inconsiderate creeps with an over inflated opinion of themselves will merely rein*** the lady's determination to have nothing to do with the individual. Yet, sadly, if they cannot grasp the simple concept of a no, for whatever reason it is given, they are unlikely to grasp these further concepts.
Daddys_little_girl Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 25 minutes ago, Andr3w089224 said: I agree completely however I'd also like to add a lot of females on here just rudely ignore or delete messages without even having the decency to reply and say no. If and when a no is said that's fine and maturely can go separate ways but ignoring is not a no it's just rude. I can see your point however sometimes the message is SO crude and uninvited why should we as submissive be polite and courteous?? A 'Come here you slut pig and let me face fuck you!' as a first message sure as hell gets deleted without a 'thanks but no thanks' response. I'm nice but not that nice! lol (I am in no way saying that is your chosen method of contact)
sc**** Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 This happens a lot to me too... Its a shame because my patience has been ground down so much so that i feel instantly defensive with every new person i speak to on here. I try not to let it come across but im always thinking 'right, what does this one want and how far are they going to try and push me'. Its a shame because i know not everybody on this site is like this, but experience proves a huge percentage of people are pushy, rude and disrespectful on this site, and i have experienced this with both males and females.
Andr3w089224 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 You make a good point however I did not say the first message sent to said person was rude it could just be a hey how are you today? And it's read and deleted because it tells you so I find that rude because... guess what. It is.
Andr3w089224 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 55 minutes ago, Daddys_little_girl said: I can see your point however sometimes the message is SO crude and uninvited why should we as submissive be polite and courteous?? A 'Come here you slut pig and let me face fuck you!' as a first message sure as hell gets deleted without a 'thanks but no thanks' response. I'm nice but not that nice! lol (I am in no way saying that is your chosen method of contact) I can agree with you there absolutely butbi just talking about the nice normal message from something as simple as hey beautiful how are you? Or how are you today which is then read and deleted which tells you when messages are deleted I find rude. But if someone sent me a message that you received I'd understand deleting and ignoring lol
3S**** Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 I use the no thanks feature to guys who are as pushy as is being mentioned here, don't see them worthy of a personal response. Thank you to the site for providing that and for blocking the person in the same go.
3S**** Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 11 minutes ago, Andr3w089224 said: You make a good point however I did not say the first message sent to said person was rude it could just be a hey how are you today? And it's read and deleted because it tells you so I find that rude because... guess what. It is. Since when was it illegal to not use manners? Nobody has to use them, even though i agree with the original post here about people being ignorant but it still doesn't mean the people sending out these crap messages should be ***d to use them.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 No means no, wish everyone would get the hint. I've got a guy who keeps messaging me when I've told him nicely I'm not interested to the stage I know ignore his messages and he still persists to message me 🤔 I can't be any nicer anymore. On that note I've been on a "vanilla" site and if I say no not interested people think that sending dick pics would help them even though on profile it says not interested in pics. Its really irritating especially when I try to be nice.
nondescriptcouple Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 16 minutes ago, Andr3w089224 said: You make a good point however I did not say the first message sent to said person was rude it could just be a hey how are you today? And it's read and deleted because it tells you so I find that rude because... guess what. It is. I suppose if you do message a person, and they do delete your message without replying, it immediately shows you they are not someone you would like to converse with.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 17 minutes ago, Andr3w089224 said: I can agree with you there absolutely butbi just talking about the nice normal message from something as simple as hey beautiful how are you? Or how are you today which is then read and deleted which tells you when messages are deleted I find rude. But if someone sent me a message that you received I'd understand deleting and ignoring lol Some of us specifically say on our profiles, a hey, isn't going to get our attention, what do we do then when that's ignored, and a message comes anyway? (In my case, delete the message and move on), some have filters that aim to prevent hey type messages, by filtering ones with x number of words too, and to be fair, I find it incredibly rude when someone doesn't bother to read a profile but messages anyway, why should I do them the courtesy of a reply, when they've shown absolutely none to me? And as @BigPollysays, the additional dialogue after declining just keeps on coming, the age is just a number bollocks being the seemingly go to response, and I'm Domme, how much worse it must be for Submissives I dread to think, some even go so far as to create a new profile to send the same blanket messages, rather than learning from their mistakes,.and whether you like it or not, if I get mail that's inappropriate, or offensive, or, on the flip side bland hellos, I'm replying to those I choose to..and if I say no, I mean no, follow up pursuits are blocked..I hate repeating myself. @BigPollyWell said
Novice1959 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 It seems to me that men are the issue and they just to respect the woman's answer.
Daddys_little_girl Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Novice1959 said: It seems to me that men are the issue and they just to respect the woman's answer. Although your sentiment is well intentioned, this is by no way a men only issue. I have Domme friends who are hassled equally by women. Edited July 26, 2018 by Daddys_little_girl
Novice1959 Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 2 minutes ago, Daddys_little_girl said: Although your sentiment is well intentioned, this is by no way a men only issue. I have Domme friends who are hassled equally by men. Well you learn something new everyday.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 And no it is not necessarily rude or ignorant or bad manners for someone to not reply to or acknowledge a message at all. There are many ladies on this site who receive a vast quantity of messages, many of them saying the same dull, repetitive, uninteresting things that they've heard & read a thousand times before, why would they be inspired to respond to it anymore! Plus it is also a question of time, everyone on here has a life away from this site, if you're someone who receives a lot of messages you're not going to have the time to reply to all, particularly if they're dull & boring. So guys who complain, take the time to personalise your messages a little, mention something that she will be interested in, it's all in their profiles, & stand yourself in better stead. Even if she still chooses not to reply or acknowledge that is entirely her perogative, she has her reasons & does not need to explain them to you, accept it & just move along.
Deleted Member Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 6 hours ago, BigPolly said: Ok so there’s been several guys on here moaning about girls ignoring them etc when they message them. It’s also been covered on here about manners when we speak to one another. What I’d like is someone to please tell me that I’m not the only person on here that, when I say ‘No’ in a round about way on messenger that the person then continues to push!? In my eyes that’s not ok. I know I’m gorgeous & to get a knock back from me must be the worst 😬 but seriously do people actually believe that pushing is going to make someone change their mind? I say No in the politest way possible but sometimes I will loose it a little & often wish I’d just used the ‘no thanks button’, something that has been moaned about at on here. I am happy to chat to anyone but once I have made myself clear I don’t feel like I should then have to justify myself . so examples of what I’m saying/replying are ... ‘No thank you you’re a tad too young for me’ ”But age doesn’t matter to me” ’No thank you you’re a tad above the age I’m looking for’ ”But I have experience which you might like” ’No thank you I’m not into feet’ “But I want to worship yours” ’No thank you my profile clearly tells you I’m a sub not a Dom’ ”But I want to serve you Mistress” I feel really sorry for the ones who feel they can’t be as straight as me & get sucked into talking to someone they don’t want to. I could be rude & say ‘Get off your narcissistic creepy high horse’ but I won’t 😬 I’ll simply say, if someone says No then that means No! There’s no ‘but this’ or ‘but that’ ....No means No! *****Rant ******* I apologise in advance Oh Polly I'm so glad you've raised this subject I'd like to think I've got manners , I'm respectful and polite to other members I'd like to think I'm patient I have an issues with four categories 18-25 yr olds submissive boys Feet fetish folk young Dominants daddy 18-25yrs 18-25yrs you joke it off with with the younger members and say sorry not my thing , they come back with alsorts sorts of compliments etc . Then you explain with respect being near to same age as my ***'s am issue and they still come back , no means no , please don't push me to answer you sharply Young Dominants Daddy when they message with stupid comments I can make you submit I'll be you're daddy On your knees bitch suck my cock the list goes on please please please please read educate yourself . Talk to others , learn bout the lifestyle etiquette when I say I like older Dominants don't take it personally ... it my liking my choice Submissive Boys please read my profile- submissive not Domme please then don't change your mind and decided maybe your could be a Dom feet awful thing not my things I've horrible trotters when I tell you that please don't come back say send me feet pics or talk to me bout feet , ewwww please be respectful of others choices please don't take it personally no means no be polite when you are told it's no for you don't be a keyboard warrior you wouldn't behave like that in pub or restaurant or club Listen and read ...it will make the site a better place for everyone sx
Jed Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 Oh I'm so glad your raising this @BigPolly Guys c'mon...its bad enough that you don't read the profile to at least get some form of insight into the lady your approaching!!!! And then there's the format of the message....do you really think a "hey" or "hi" is going to cut the ice!!!! And then there's the whole"submit shite" or "look what iv got that you want" rhubarb!!!!! Really!!!! Would you get your cock out in public!!! No it's not right and it ain't clever....Women deserve the respect that they are entitled too they are not *meat on the counter* they have feelings, want to be wooed want to feel that they have worth regardless of there position be it sub/Domme and here's the clincher.....they may well engage you if you show them said respect and approach them like a gentleman....its not hard in fact it's very very easy to be nice cos guess what people are nice back when you treat them nicely.... Nice one @BigPolly ❤
ey**** Posted July 26, 2018 Posted July 26, 2018 and this male friends - is why she just hits no thanks even if you think you're one of the good ones.
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 6 hours ago, Lilmonster said: I get this all the time also even though on my profile it says don't push me for a message or when I say no please don't get arsey with me. Why should we have to justify when a no is given in a polite manner, I'm never nasty with the no's or not interested I give out. Why can't guys just respect a woman wishes when a no is given its not rocket science a no means no, no oh well what if I did this or what about this. NO MEANS NO move on end of. It’s embarrassingly desperate & they all take it so personally which is ridiculous x
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 6 hours ago, Andr3w089224 said: I agree completely however I'd also like to add a lot of females on here just rudely ignore or delete messages without even having the decency to reply and say no. If and when a no is said that's fine and maturely can go separate ways but ignoring is not a no it's just rude. Some people struggle to say No to people, many aren’t as brash as i am, that doesn’t make them rude or immature they just simply don’t want to talk to you. You shouldn’t judge people as being rude because how they react to something is different to how you would....we’re all very different & deal with things differently 😊
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 5 hours ago, Daddys_little_girl said: I'm new here (but not to BDSM) and so have been getting a lot of messages from' Domley MCDoms' who think they can smell fresh meat lol . I was brought up to be polite and respond kindly to messages, but it does seem that there is a sence of self entitlement from a select few. It's a shame, I can imagine for those newer to the lifestyle that the harassment may be off-putting. Don’t you know as a sub you should just do as you’re told & have to react to each message 🙄 hahaha you’re so right, this pushy behaviour would easily put many off. I’m 42 I don’t want to have to justify myself to an 18yr 🤷🏻♀️
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 5 hours ago, MissMermaid said: Sometimes I don’t reply to messages if the sender is not someone I’m looking for, and that comes down to a number of things... I have other messages to reply to from people that I’m speaking too. Saying no and still being hounded puts you in a mood where you decide F everyone I’m not going to rely to any of them. Sometimes I just have too many messages to reply to, and by the time I get round to replying, said person has sent another arsey message, which makes me think sod them! This doesn’t make people rude and ignorant, just sometimes you know how it’s going to pan out, because the message sent to you is either inappropriate, or it’s clear you’ve only been messaged because they like the look of your pictures, but haven’t read the details of your profile! It appears to be very different on here for men & women, the women seem to all have a barrage of messages & sometimes you just can’t be bothered as there’s so many or you look & think ‘Really???’ Occasionally ive had a few make a joke of the age difference or kink difference & we’ve had a laugh but others just make you think ‘SOD OFFFFFFF’ x
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 6 hours ago, Fenrir said: I cannot understand how guys who try to press their point or their feelings home after having been told no can even remotely expect this to make a positive impression on the lady or make her reconsider. They are showing themselves to have a complete lack of regard or concern for other people's feelings or wishes & merely full of themselves, & what part of that do they honestly think is going to appeal to anyone. Showing themselves up to be narcissistic, egotistical, inconsiderate creeps with an over inflated opinion of themselves will merely rein*** the lady's determination to have nothing to do with the individual. Yet, sadly, if they cannot grasp the simple concept of a no, for whatever reason it is given, they are unlikely to grasp these further concepts. Ohhh it’s just bizarre, at what point is any woman going to think ‘you know what, your pushiness is so creepy it’s actually now sexy!’?? The amount of times I’ve had to say ‘I’ve said no several times, I can’t make it any clearer so please leave me alone or I’ll report you’
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 5 hours ago, scarllett said: This happens a lot to me too... Its a shame because my patience has been ground down so much so that i feel instantly defensive with every new person i speak to on here. I try not to let it come across but im always thinking 'right, what does this one want and how far are they going to try and push me'. Its a shame because i know not everybody on this site is like this, but experience proves a huge percentage of people are pushy, rude and disrespectful on this site, and i have experienced this with both males and females. Helloooo & where have you been, you’ve been so quiet for ages, hope you’re ok 😁 totally totally agree, some days you see a number come up on your inbox & you think ‘oh no who’s this now 😣’ which is a real shame x
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 5 hours ago, 3SumQueen said: I use the no thanks feature to guys who are as pushy as is being mentioned here, don't see them worthy of a personal response. Thank you to the site for providing that and for blocking the person in the same go. It’s odd but I can’t bring myself to use that or the ‘ignore’ button, how strange is that! I’d rather ignore their message or respond to say no, maybe I should try those buttons
BigPolly Posted July 26, 2018 Author Posted July 26, 2018 4 hours ago, Rosie777 said: No means no, wish everyone would get the hint. I've got a guy who keeps messaging me when I've told him nicely I'm not interested to the stage I know ignore his messages and he still persists to message me 🤔 I can't be any nicer anymore. On that note I've been on a "vanilla" site and if I say no not interested people think that sending dick pics would help them even though on profile it says not interested in pics. Its really irritating especially when I try to be nice. What kind of mind keep persisting, don’t they have any self respect? Youll have to learn to start being horrible lol
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