Fetish Thoughts

[Deleted Member]

How to approach a women or men in interest on accepting or exploring your fetish?

[Da****]

Just ask if you they into it

[Cheekysub247]

You just have to be honest about them, explain what it is, why you need/want it, what it does for you and what you hope they might/will get from it. There are people who will explore a fetish just for someone even if its not their own.
If someone suggests something i know i simply couldnt do i politely explain my reasons x

[Mc****]

I agree with both statements. Being a straight man married for 17 years who just took his first c***. Explain what and why you want what you want. Btw...it was fabulous to feel a d*** explode up my a-hole

[ey****]

I think to step back a bit

remember it's a person and you're not ordering from a menu

That when you approach someone wishing to explore this is, ultimately, you benefiting - so ask yourself what they get out of it and if this is actually something they would want.

 

[be****]

Yes I was thinking of asking the same question.

[Deleted Member]

Great answers

[ey****]

I think additional : "these are my fetishes, I'd love to explore them with you" is rarely the compliment guys think it is 

[Mc****]

Why do you say that?

[ge****]

Don't focus on the fetish to begin with - take time to get to know the person a little first, sure if the fetish is important to you, mention it as part of your interests, but don't make it the *only* thing you discuss.
.
It may also depend on what the fetish is and how the other person presents themselves - for an example if your fetish is rubber and the person you are approaching has pics and blurb on their profile indicating a similar interest in rubber, the approach may be vastly different from someone who doesn't mention it at all but has other interests in common.

[Pe****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think additional : "these are my fetishes, I'd love to explore them with you" is rarely the compliment guys think it is 

Yes!! I can’t stand it when a man says this to me haha!! It’s being selfish. Not even asking first if it would be something I would consider 😂

[ch****]

Of you are just searching for a fetish partner then be upfront and direct. Most people are quite understanding if you tell them what you want. Maybe it’s not for them, then wish them happiness and move on.

If you, already, have a partner and want to guide things into a more robust lifestyle, then again….communication is key. Ease them into it through conversation. Maybe have a “fantasy” chat or a “have you ever thought about x” chat…. It may take time and may not happen at all. The 3 major things are communication, connection and respect.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts. Good luck in your search.

[Deleted Member]

Sometimes my issue be when I'm inviting and honest about my fetish and up front I'll get laughed at and embarrassed instead of a normal answer like sorry I'm not comfortable about doing that instead it's your nasty or they spitting all your business to others then people be afraid to embrace their own enjoyment

[ey****]

4 hours ago, McAllister420 said:

Why do you say that?

let's translate things into vanilla terms

Imagine contacting a stranger going "you're so pretty I would like to have sex with you" - not a compliment, forward, and very much objectification 

equally you wouldn't again contact a stranger going "Hey, I'd like to marry you, have 2.4 *** and a nice house with a picket fence"

I mean context applies.  Like someone might have it on their profile that this is what they are looking for - in which case you can probably cut the small talk, the getting-to-know, etc and just come out and say it.

[Deleted Member]

I met my now sub on here and she is very open to my fetishes

[Vi****]

In an atmosphere like this you can share your fetishes and people are more open minded and if they enjoy the same interests they won’t be as intimidated to approach you where is it every day life you want to you scenarios after you get to know them a little like “I heard a story about this guy he happens to do this kind of thing and his girlfriend really liked it is that some thing or what?” and get their input on it /if they seem comfortable talking about that type of subject then you’ll know if you would feel comfortable sharing

[BigPolly]

Unless you’re going to be completely upfront & end up being lucky enough to meet someone else on the same level then I guess the only ways are to meet someone from a fetish site, swinger site or in a fet club.
The positive about sites like this is you can be upfront in your profile so people have the choice whether to peruse a conversation with you.
Fetish works both ways so finding someone who matches your fetishes & vice versa really does work on the basis of being incredibly open & incredibly patient.

[sw****]

I am a great believer of person first, kink/fetish second. If you lead with your kink/fetish it can come across as you’re just looking for a kink dispenser rather than a dynamic/relationship.
 

Yes you need to know if you’re interested in similar things, but I need a mental connection, need someone to be interested in me as a person as well as the kinky stuff.  

[ge****]

51 minutes ago, sweet***sub said:

I am a great believer of person first, kink/fetish second. If you lead with your kink/fetish it can come across as you’re just looking for a kink dispenser rather than a dynamic/relationship.
 

Yes you need to know if you’re interested in similar things, but I need a mental connection, need someone to be interested in me as a person as well as the kinky stuff.  

Spot on - and not only that without that connection the kinky stuff just wouldn't be right to me, would feel very cold, clinical and transactional

[Deleted Member]

I appreciate you guys input I'm try and hope I can find someone interested in mines

[ab****]

Such a great question!

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, ab2022 said:

Such a great question!

Thank you. I'm just searching advice cause it's hard to find someone to embrace my fetish with me 😢😢

[re****]

Be straight forward and open and honest with the one you are in a relationship with. Easiest way I found

[Deleted Member]

Ohhh boy... this is really bad!!🙈 I actually talked like negotiating a contract... contract!😅 Well, I guess they were patient with me. They never blocked me.😨

[Ja****]

There are so many great answers to this. I would also say it kind of depends on the relationship you have with the person and how long you’ve known each other. For the most part, though, make sure not to just focus on you and what you want. Ease into it. Maybe ask if the other person has some fantasies or give a subtle compliment if they do something related to your fetish. Sometimes people will freak out if you are too blunt even though they might be open to it. I hope that makes sense.