Have you ever lost the excitement of being slave/master/dom/sub

[BrattySubSlaveSarah]

Hey all, 

So I'm just looking for advice i think. Me and my partner was in a master/slave relationship but we put it on hold for a while because i had problems and went on anti depression tablets, i had no motivation to do anything etc so we decided it was best. About a week ago i was feeling ok so we started it back up but i didnt get the excitement when he re collared me like i previously did and i really havent felt it at all since it was just thoughts like well im not ready to be a brat again and be punished so ***d myself to do the tasks given but i never really put any thought into it until yesterday and its been playing on my mind since. I plan to talk to my partner about it tomorrow and see what comes of it, i noticed im slowly going back to the i cant be bothered but it needs to be done so *** myself routine so im trying to increase my anti depressants to see how it goes but what im asking, is there any way back from this, will i find the excitement again? Im hoping someone here may have some experience with similar. I appreciate any advice. 

Thanks 

[ey****]

It's possible that although you are feeling ok/better that more time was needed to get back into it.

there is no harm taking more time out before reintroducing things.  I won't say things are impossible, just it will be different - things you'd previously done for the very first time are already done so, some elements are missing now.    That's not to say things can't resume, but it's important it's when it feels right for both of you - and otherwise working on your relationship together until then. 

[Mz****]

I'd advise against just upping your dose..antidepressants can be an effective means of treating depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders when used properly and taken in the prescribed doses..but... they can have side effects and be dangerous if taken incorrectly or used with alcohol or ***. It might be that whichever one you're taking isn't working for you, in which case speak to your doctor and ask about other options, there's plenty of alternatives, they don't always get the cocktail right first time, tweeks can and should be made if what you're taking is ineffective..or let your doctor up the dose if you prefer not to try a different antidepressant..also ask them about options for counselling, or  perhaps CBT? "Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a talking therapy that can help you manage your problems by changing the way you think and behave". (NHS definition).

it may not be appropriate in your case but I've known many patients who've done better with that than meds particularly for depressive anxiety. 

I hope you get the support you need from your partner and applaud you for your openess..good luck with the chat 🤞

Edited May 16, 2022 by MzJax
Typo

[CopperKnob]

Agree with Eyem. Also a point to consider is the type of antidepressant you're taking. They work by increasing serotonin but can also decreases dopamine, the feel good factor so they may be numbing the happy feelings/emotions. Also, we sometimes use antidepressants to decrease libido in some adults.
It may worth chatting to your Clinician/Prescriber

[Lo****]

I’ve been on anti-ds for about a month and have no interest in sex or kink whatsoever. Just looked at the side-effects list and it says it’s common (up to 1 in 10 people) to experience decreased sex drive. 
 

Try not to worry about it too much. It’s only natural to have a reduced libido when you’re down and the effect of the meds will be exacerbating this. Just let yourself heal without putting pressure on yourself to do anything you don’t feel like. x

[BrattySubSlaveSarah]

12 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Agree with Eyem. Also a point to consider is the type of antidepressant you're taking. They work by increasing serotonin but can also decreases dopamine, the feel good factor so they may be numbing the happy feelings/emotions. Also, we sometimes use antidepressants to decrease libido in some adults.
It may worth chatting to your Clinician/Prescriber

I dont think they are thou as i have felt ok for about 2week then it has suddenly come back over the last few days. Either way i made a call to my doctors this morning and they are getting the doctor to call me about it today so we shall see. 

 

Thank you everyone for your advice i do think i will suggest we take a break again until im ready.

[Vi****]

Hi I just wanted to say I hope you get the help and support you need, just to echo really what the others have said. I've been on antidepressants for about 5 years now, took quite a few months of adjusting and talking to my Dr until i go to a dose I was ok on. I used to have that flat nothingness feeling its horrible.  But counselling, cbt and pills have all helped me massively. 

Dont loose hope, my libido is in overdrive now, it was on the floor a few years ago. Its frustrating I can imagine but I'm sure you're find it again it just may look a little different to how it was before.  I'd even take some time  just to focus on you and not worry about the dynamics until your in a better place. Take it slowly. 

Edited May 18, 2022 by Vic1077

[Ta****]

Depression itself can affect sex drive (in either direction). All anti-depressants have side effects, and some do affect sexual function. From what you describe, it sounds like the 'lack of motivation' symptom is also affecting your desire to play.

Do not change your dose without consulting with your GP / mental health nurse / etc about doing so.

Hopefully you are getting appropiate talking therapy support as well. I can signpost you to kink-friendly services privately if you think that would help. 
 

[Re****]

Mummy Monster:  I have a background in therapy. Depression can arise from many causes including childhood trauma, difficulty adjusting to stressors in your life, substance ***,  hormonal changes, and over-exposure to negative news on TV/cable/social media. My advice is to get counseling to explore the roots of your depression and engage in ways to decrease it while learning how to build resilience. I agree with Tall Drake's point that some antidepressants can lower libido. However, one antidepressant, Wellbutrin has been known to increase libido in depressed people. There are two free ways to decrease depression without any side effect: meditation and walking in nature. I would also suggest drawing, ***ting or molding clay if you like those things as they help express and clarify emotions. I wish you well and hope you get you jazz back.