Ad**** Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 For me it's as simple as consent. If you want to contact someone by a different medium, ask if it's ok. I find it highly inappropriate to assume you can make contact with someone by any other means if you are talking to them here without asking first. That's a huge red flag for me that the person will not respect your boundaries or your right to consent.
CopperKnob Posted May 25, 2022 Posted May 25, 2022 Ways of staying safe online • Avoid putting your real name in your fet profile. If someone had doubt if it was you when they stumbled across your profile, they wouldn’t have any longer. • If you live in a small community, consider ways to make your location a bit more nebulous • Associate with a near, but larger city so you’re in a larger pool of people that come up in a search • Maybe consider concealing your face. Eyes are the most easy to image search • Your phone number is a unique identifier. It’s attached to most things you do and easily searchable. Using an internet number or avoiding giving out your real phone number would be smart • Don’t use vanilla screen names for your kinky profiles • While you can’t search the internet for Fet profile names (easily), often people cross reference usernames and you can be found on other platforms, then traced back to Fet • Don’t use vanilla photos on Fet and vice versa • You can reverse image search and draw connections easily • Be careful when installing new messaging apps. Often all of the contacts in your phone that have the app will get an alert that you added it. Consider using an alt phone number or not importing contacts (or having a different screen name). Snapchat specifically will show your real name unless you deliberately turn off that feature. • Consider making a separate email specifically for kink stuff. Emails are searchable. • Consider not giving out your real date of birth. Not all that many people were born in the same country/county on the same day (and are the same gender, etc) • Don’t talk about your job - particularly the exact company name, etc. • Watch out for exposing distinguishing tattoos. These can also be easily image searched • All of your comments, status, writings, etc are stored and viewable. Someone could technically go and look at everything you’ve ever said online. • Many photos have a geotag on them. If you’re concerned about location consider removing location from a photo before posting it (Google it) • If you want to be extremely secure, you could always work through a third party IP address. • If you’re worried about passwords, considering adding a third party Authenticator. That way, even if your password is stolen it’s way harder for them to get past it.
ey**** Posted May 25, 2022 Posted May 25, 2022 8 minutes ago, CopperKnob said: • If you live in a small community, consider ways to make your location a bit more nebulous as a spin off, one thing I'm not sure on. I was with a friend at the weekend who met her boyfriend on a dating app. She found it weird as every time she spoke to him his location showed up in a different nearby area. When they agreed to meet they then found out they literally lived around the corner from each other and the app was giving random locations to protect each other. Similarly, I've been talking to someone local on here which keeps doing the same.
nu**** Posted May 25, 2022 Posted May 25, 2022 ^^^ That's a very good summary of how to stay safe, CopperKnob! ^^^ It think it deserves its own post, so that it's not buried between other comments.
CopperKnob Posted May 26, 2022 Posted May 26, 2022 14 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: as a spin off, one thing I'm not sure on. I was with a friend at the weekend who met her boyfriend on a dating app. She found it weird as every time she spoke to him his location showed up in a different nearby area. When they agreed to meet they then found out they literally lived around the corner from each other and the app was giving random locations to protect each other. Similarly, I've been talking to someone local on here which keeps doing the same. At first I thought it was sketchy to list a town I don't live in, now absolutely see it as a safety measure. But it's interesting how the apps change the distance/location. We never know whose round the corner metaphorical or not
sv**** Posted May 26, 2022 Posted May 26, 2022 Without my consent, it's not appropriate. I delete messages from strangers and block if necessary.
sv**** Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 I definitely don't like when it's done without my consent. Especially when people I don't know at all do it. It's creepy
lo**** Posted May 17, 2023 Posted May 17, 2023 Having been stalked multiple times in my life, rl and online, I would be getting all the info of who they are, how they found me, where THEY are, and why they felt the need to hunt me down on socials. I would be taking screen shots and storing them on their own folder in several locations. Then, quite possibly contacting the FBI about it. (Not the police. They have proven to me how useless they are in that realm over and over and OVER again thru the years.) There are some types of stalking that ARE a federal level offense.(Now at least) Paper trails are everything.
Fa**** Posted May 17, 2023 Posted May 17, 2023 I don't like the fact people have the access to do that
fft2024 Posted May 18, 2023 Posted May 18, 2023 the main reason is that you are showing your face in public on the internet, just like some one friend recognise your in the street. and ai systems wish to push you to anyone who you may know. the pictures searching technology can find out any platforms you are playing on as long as you upload your profile real pictures. but here is an excuse, "that's ai me in meta world, I randomly met you there days ago."
sm**** Posted February 26 Posted February 26 It's the main reason I only use a disposable email account for sites, never a full face pic only in private and I've always been known as Smee for 30 years in the scene and never my name in public. Trust me I've been through a fet site that's been hacked and my subsequent account and email hacked. I never use my real name or vanilla contacts on these emails, for just that reason. The same should be considered when fet events or others seem to allow photographs, even if its the event organiser. I have Come across people I know in the real world due to these social media mistakes.
Sh**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 I don’t really use social media or that much, but if someone were to track me down without my consent, I’d be blocking them pretty quick and probably shutting down that account 
sm**** Posted February 29 Posted February 29 19 hours ago, ShyJay33 said: I don’t really use social media or that much, but if someone were to track me down without my consent, I’d be blocking them pretty quick and probably shutting down that account  probably one of the major reasons people should always keep their social/vanilla life separate from the scene. Come across way too many locals iv'e recognised and a few of them were lets say not very subtle or using decent normal etiquette in their voicing of the lifestyle and events. Non of the pics i have on fet sites will ever be posted on a vanilla one and vica versa, same for i always keep my nick on fet sites different. But yes if your recognised it can be a hard one to handle, some will say but they are in the lifestyle as well so all should be ok....it's not tbh my preference is to just use banter and say wrong person and try and leave it at that, or at best see how they communicate first.
Recommended Posts