scientistxSaturday Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 How do you use the control or authority when its given to you in your kinkplay?
wi**** Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 When I’m the Dom, I’m more of a gentle dom (am actually a switch), it’s all about getting my sub into subspace. Whatever that means for them. I like to model my control or authority differently for each person so it’s going to vary. Just make sure you talk about everything before hand. Find what the limits are, make sure it’s safe, consensual, and don’t forget about aftercare, which is my favorite
Al**** Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 I do like everything wiltom923 said because I believe in all of it. I am a Gentleman Dom/Daddy Dom. One key thing is communication during Play. You can use the stop light system or I like the 5 finger system. Just in case you don't know i will explain both. Stop light Green = go Yellow = slow down Red = stop and I mean stop right then somthing is really wrong The system i use is 5 finger system. During play i will say show me all the time. 1 finger = a lot more 2 finger = a little more 3 fingers = just right 4 fingers = a little to much 5 fingers = to much about to call red I try to keep it between 3 and 4 fingers when I play.
Da**** Posted May 21, 2022 Posted May 21, 2022 1st step: know thyself, 2nd step: know thy sub. 3rd step: if your sub's clay on a potters wheel, see the final thing you wish to create in your mind's eye, then put yourself to the clay. 4th step: know when you're being the outside hand shaping, and the inside hand, supporting the darker, softer side and perform your role with intention, with attention. Check and balance and stay in the moment. Create from your mortal mix and mess. The way you Dom should feel like only you do it. Burn the textbook. :)
Deleted Member Posted May 23, 2022 Posted May 23, 2022 In the ways previously discussed and agreed with my play partner?
Deleted Member Posted May 23, 2022 Posted May 23, 2022 So for one person I might gag them and toe them up and have fun. For someone else they might not like gags.... but want their balls crushed. Its always an exchange of power. Power stealing is potentially damaging.
Deleted Member Posted May 23, 2022 Posted May 23, 2022 I like to equate D/s as a metaphor for driving a car. The Dominant steers. Guiding the vehicle forward. Or backwards. Into a tree or staying on the path. While the submissive applies the gas or the breaks. Thus together the desired destination is reached. If there is miscommunication. If the wrong assumption is made the car might be steered into the curb. A minor issue that can be resolved by readjusting. Or off a cliff. An issue that can become catastrophic. If the submissive applies the breaks (uses the safe word) then the car stops. Being in a D/s relationship required coordination. Communication, trust and respect. Before I am given authority by my sub I should already know where the lane is. So I don’t drive us into a place the sub doesn’t wish to go.
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