Is it true? Do women not look for nice guys

[Ni****]

54 minutes ago, Scarlettmiss25 said:

This is the most beautifully written paragraph about what it's like on this site. I posted a while back about being ghosted and yeah I was upset but two guys chose to message on the status and comment how I had done the same to them. These exact guys in question had no connection with me other than a single message which in one case was particularly vulgar language and the other was asking me to domme him when I clearly stated I am not looking for that. I was then ***d via messages because I was in their eyes 'a whore who didn't deserve a nice guy like them'. I've spoken to multiple other women on this app who at this point are suspicious if someone says nice guy, tell me you like trains or climbing or jazz. Nice is the bare minimum at the moment and some people.cant even manage that. I find its best to treat messages like being in public . You aren't expected to say hi to everyone single person you see and especially not if they say something that makes you uncomfortable and no one would fault you for that so it's nothing to do with you not being nice enough or good enough. It's just today's ability to quickly look at a profile and decide yes or no rejection or no response is alot more common. As someone who really suffers when rejected just remember it's not actually on you as they have no idea who you are and how great you can be! 😊

I’d like to thank you for all that you’ve said, I appreciate everything you’ve said

[Deleted Member]

I would have to say that I don't look for a**holes? If I see any red flags that someone is a gaslighter or arrogant or like to "treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen" then I am out of there. But I am on this site for a Dom, someone who is sweet and gentle isn't going to draw me. Does that mean I don't expect a Dom to be nice? No. I think we have a basic assumption that someone will be a decent person, we need to connect on a human level.

[Je****]

Define "nice".

No one wants to meet an absolute a***hole do they?!

[Ni****]

1 hour ago, Lady_Char said:

I would have to say that I don't look for a**holes? If I see any red flags that someone is a gaslighter or arrogant or like to "treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen" then I am out of there. But I am on this site for a Dom, someone who is sweet and gentle isn't going to draw me. Does that mean I don't expect a Dom to be nice? No. I think we have a basic assumption that someone will be a decent person, we need to connect on a human level.

I believe that the way you act as a dom and the way you act in a relationship are definitely two different things and should not overlap

[Ae****]

Generally, no - as the term "nice guy" in this context means a guy who, to women, is nice but not sexy. Agrees to everything. Is friendly, safe, 🥱😴. Most don't get turned on by that. With them, you'll be in the friend-zone, best case scenario.

Also, if being yourself means you don't have a great dating life - and you'd actually like one - then yh, you need to change yourself. In a healthy way, obviously, duh :)

[Charms]

Yes of coures womrn like nice guys.

Master is extremely nice not just to me but to others.

He is my care giver when I'm ill. My cuddle budy when I want cuddled and my sounding board when I need to talk.

When we got togther I didn't even know he was a kinkster. I thought I'd have to put away my kink life.

I feel for him because he is nice and sweet and polite

[Deleted Member]

Nope not at all

[Jo****]

Being 'nice' is the bare minimum for a person. You can be 'nice' to someone, but that doesn't mean they'll date or whatever with you, because it doesn't really tell them anything about you; everyone and anyone can be nice! Being 'nice' is not a personality trait, but a thing you do. Being nice is also not the same as being kind, or good, or caring, or understanding, etc.; traits that people often mistake for being 'nice'.

To say on a profile that you're a nice person tells people either that;
a) you're someone who doesn't have anything more than the bare minimum going for them, someone who can't say anything positive or interesting about yourself other than 'nice'
b)or that you're trying to lull them into a false sense of security ("I'm not an a**hole, I'm a nice guy!" Just search for 'creepy PMs' and you'll see how common this is)

So yes, women (and men!) do look for nice guys, but they're looking for guys who have more going for them than just nice. You know, like a personality. Or if you want to be shallow about it, at the very least something that benefits them, like *** or an attractive body.

[Vi****]

I personally don't like the terms "nice guys" or "bad boys" at all. I do think from your replies you seem to want to shape yourself to please others. Just be you, be patient. Don't change to fit a certain ideal you think woman want. 

For me I like first and foremost a man who is interesting can converse with me hold my interest, kind, then hopefully we connect and open that door to our kinky worlds together. 😉 

As another poster said, sometimes as woman we get inundated with messages from men, some abusive, but most I'll be honest banal. They say Hi, then proceed to comment on my looks which turns me off instantly, then list all the things they want and what they are looking completely one sided.

Be you, but please for the love of god read there profile ask something about them, but keep it fun and interesting. Otherwise sadly most don't get a reply.

Edited May 22, 2022 by Vic1077
Extra info

[Pe****]

11 hours ago, CuriousAmy said:

Thank you! Please let women answer him, it’s our opinions that are needed most here (not to say that some men haven’t made fantastic points, thank you eyemblacksheep, loved your comments!)

Let me explain what it’s like for women, we get tons of men messaging us, many of whom do not fit what we are seeking. Many message repeatedly when we don’t reply, then claiming their nice guys and that we’re missing out. What are we missing out on exactly, someone who won’t respect our decision to not engage?

As a great singer once wrote ‘Women don’t owe you shit’ and whilst it’s true it goes both ways. I message men, sometimes they reply, sometimes they don’t. No one owes anyone anything.

If people choose to message each other then they should do so in a friendly manner and without pictures of their nether regions (something that seems to be a growing issue on here recently but that’s a whole other issue). If it leads somewhere, that’s great but if not, move on and forget about them. Life is too short.

Perfectly put girl!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[Gb****]

I bet u send over 100 messages and u or don t get reply or u get very less reply ask your self why?Nothing wrong with you don t worrys i believe we can choice what we like or not but is ridiculos when no one of them don t give a shit on u and don t want to know h bcz u don t present interest and we know wich kind of interest u have to present in these days.



Yes bro don t worry,be yourself untill u turn 90 🤣for sure u will find someone.I read most of the comments here and everyone said u to br yourself and "the right person will come"wich is right.But in same time i think no have nothing to do a good guy with a bad guy bcz in the end Womans don t know who u are bcz they don t answer to you to get to know u.You complaint about u are enough to be lonelly and u don t find the right person but this isn't your fault,how someone said above WHAT U BRING TO THE TABLE? AND THIS IS SHOWING IN YOUR PICTURES 98 .99% NOT IN YOUR PROFILE DESCRIPTION.

Just think how a woman know if u are good or bad boy when she don t even Answer to u to get to Know u.

It s not about u are bad boy or good boy it s about womans don t give u any chance to get to know and then them can say if u are good or bad boy but u like me and others u don t have a big Pocket or u don t show a big interest.

U can start a conversation about any kind of subject about what u like about them profile ,about them bla bla bla or just a simple honest HEY,HI,HOW ARE YOU?
BUT WHAT IS SIMPLE AND HONEST is not working in these days with them u have to know already to talk To GOD to see who is person whom u want to text to know all her past to know what ahe likes or not before u to text to her bcz u will be borning for them.

Don t worry bro many womans if u met them outside and start to have a conv with them thwy don t know what to say to hold the conv .i bet u send over 100 message and u get less reply or even nothing why did u think now after reading all this?

[CopperKnob]

At primary school, I had a teacher who would not allow us to use the word 'nice'. For her, it was a non word, too bland and lacked meaning/context.
My definition of nice is not going to match anyone elses definition because we're all individuals
But also, not one person, in the whole wide world is always nice/good otlr whatever adjective you choose to use. We all have our faults/flaws. If they aren't being shown then we'll know somethings amiss.
And in response to the idea of a 'bad boy' you'll notice its only the men here suggesting that that's what women want. I don't know about others but trust and respect go a long way in any relationship.
Most commentators are telling you to be yourself. I personally find it hard because I'm boring as hell, but if we're going to put up a false pretence online, nothing will progress into real life 🤷‍♀️

[Catsailor69]

43 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

At primary school, I had a teacher who would not allow us to use the word 'nice'. For her, it was a non word, too bland and lacked meaning/context.
My definition of nice is not going to match anyone elses definition because we're all individuals
But also, not one person, in the whole wide world is always nice/good otlr whatever adjective you choose to use. We all have our faults/flaws. If they aren't being shown then we'll know somethings amiss.
And in response to the idea of a 'bad boy' you'll notice its only the men here suggesting that that's what women want. I don't know about others but trust and respect go a long way in any relationship.
Most commentators are telling you to be yourself. I personally find it hard because I'm boring as hell, but if we're going to put up a false pretence online, nothing will progress into real life 🤷‍♀️

Lolol. CK, you are anything but “boring as hell.” I’ve been in chat with you. You keep things lively, interesting and real. 😊

[sw****]

What I've found in my 51 years of being single on this planet is that all!!! Women.. are looking for a man that is honest,faithful and sincere!everything else is just window dressing!! That's! When that spark of true love begins!!!!

[th****]

Women are for sure looking for kind, funny, smart, thoughtful, etc guys.

[Gb****]

He been sarcastic ,maybe woman over 50 yes 😂😂 when they are enough of🍆🍆🍆

[Deleted Member]

On 5/22/2022 at 5:49 AM, Nick69420 said:

I would say when I try to be “nice” it’s usually to treat them with respect and dignity

First fix your profile man. Statistics show the more selfies you have, the less interaction you’re going to get. It makes you look like you are not social which will cut down on the amount of likes you will get.

Your profile lists interests but none of your pics reflect that. You like skateboarding, put up a pic of you and your board. You like hiking, have someone snag a pic of you on your favorite trail. Get rid of the word “nerd” right now that tends to have a negative inflection, which makes you seem like your talking negatively about yourself which shows you aren’t confident.

Most important like everyone else says, be yourself. Don’t “try to be nice” just be a regular decent person, don’t send unwanted d**k pics, and don’t demand sex after a few hours or day of talking.

Most importantly remember that in the end it’s all up to the lady and what they are looking for. You can’t fake the funk to get someone to like you. It may work in the short run but in the end the truth will shine through.

BE YOURSELF

[sp****]

You should go check out alpha.m on YouTube I'm sure that would be a huge help. Cause yes, but also no

[Deleted Member]

Unfortunately, OP, being a good person doesn't really correlate with sexual success. It would be great if it did! But it's kind of independent. 

 

On 5/21/2022 at 4:54 PM, Lady_Char said:

I would have to say that I don't look for a**holes? If I see any red flags that someone is a gaslighter or arrogant or like to "treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen" then I am out of there. But I am on this site for a Dom, someone who is sweet and gentle isn't going to draw me. Does that mean I don't expect a Dom to be nice? No. I think we have a basic assumption that someone will be a decent person, we need to connect on a human level.

That makes sense! But I need to add, people can act vastly different depending upon the setting....that very respectful non-aggressive person MIGHT be the rockstar fetish dispenser you always wanted in private, never know. With consent given in private how someone interacts could be vastly different.  

[Mo****]

4 hours ago, Mathbro said:

Unfortunately, OP, being a good person doesn't really correlate with sexual success. It would be great if it did! But it's kind of independent. 

 

That makes sense! But I need to add, people can act vastly different depending upon the setting....that very respectful non-aggressive person MIGHT be the rockstar fetish dispenser you always wanted in private, never know. With consent given in private how someone interacts could be vastly different.  

Exactly this. I'm a very non-aggressive person generally.

Takes a great deal of trust for me to feel comfortable exploring my aggressive side because of past experiences. It's not something I can just switch on and off.

[Lu****]

14 hours ago, spadeDs said:

You should go check out alpha.m on YouTube I'm sure that would be a huge help. Cause yes, but also no

I had never heard of this guy and am weary of anything ‘alpha’, however I checked it out and it was solid advice. Mainly the fact that it provided clear direction about being respectful.

I also thought this was a troll post, but also remember how confusing it was at your age.

I think there’s a stigma for saying you’re a ‘nice guy’ because a lot of guys have used that line while being rejected and not handling it well at all.

Rejection happens a lot, and usually it’s due to a feeling of incompatibility. Which I can’t begin to imagine how easily that happens when communicating over indirect mediums (text/apps) as it is so hard to project your tone in text.

My recommendation is to work on your self first. If you are busy living your life people will gravitate to you, because we all admire someone with direction.

Learn from your rejection as hard as it is and understand that unfortunately girls are constantly having to protect themselves from unwanted advances. So, if a girl rips into you it’s possible you need to work on your approach and she also may have had enough shit for the day.

Good luck, and just be good

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Psyclist said:

Exactly this. I'm a very non-aggressive person generally.

Takes a great deal of trust for me to feel comfortable exploring my aggressive side because of past experiences. It's not something I can just switch on and off.

I just view it as inappropriate. It's interesting though because like Lady said she's attracted to certain behaviors yet society conditions us often not to display them. If you're a man you must carefully respect female boundaries. 

[As****]

They don't want nice guys until they reach to a certain age or realization. Women like novelty, multidimensional unpredictable characteristics. Nice guys are too predictable, and hence boring.

[Deleted Member]

I really object to "women like". I mean, you guys know we're all individuals, right???

[SubFU]

I agree,just because your a man a woman doesnot mean  you react to the same stimuli.Some women like bad boys,some men like bad girls etc.We are all unique in our thinking and attitudes.You can not stereotype a person because of their sex,thats ridiculous and damned right disresectful to both sexes.The question doesnot hold water,fullstop!!!!!!