Consent

[Se****]

I am a member on another site and for various reasons have more than one profile. 

The profiles are in no way whatsoever linked and without me telling you my user name you wouldn’t know they were all me (actually maybe some people are better detectives than me). 

My ex, who I (ironically) came into contact with because he was warning me about a possible predator/consent violator, appears to have told his new woman about ALL of my profiles and I am so upset and mad and angry about this. 

This man is well known in the community in the north east (and further afield tbf) and is a BIG believer in consent and communication (supposedly). 

Sorry, I’m not sure there was any point to this post other than to rant. And possibly hope people will tell me I’m overreacting and that it isn’t an issue 🤷🏼‍♀️
 

 

[ey****]

ugh - this sucks :/

if you're happy to share - please drop me a line : because if it is someone known I can help warn others up here 

[gr****]

No that is actually not cool. While I do not understand the need to have profiles that do not easily line up with each other. It was a *** of your trust for him to share it with others. He should not have done it.

[Wi****]

That's awful behaviour on his part. Good that he warned you but weird to have told his new partner all your profiles.

He probably doesn't mean it to be bad, just showing her who you are and that he's not been talking to you. Is she on here and other sites as well?

[Wi****]

I'm sure it'll be fine and he doesn't mean it in a creepy ex way

[Deleted Member]

Why are you angry? Because they were discussing you? Because you think she probably looked you up? Do you think she's going to use this information on some way? Best thing is to pinpoint exactly why you don't like this so you can tell him and say not to do it again.

Does it violate consent? Idk. Did you ask him not to say? Or did you assume he'd be discreet? (Insert you know what they say about assume blah blah blah lol).

[JS****]

This is the first time Iv ever comment on a post and that’s because I find that dude to be completely disgusting and bull****. The No name dropped could be viewed as respectable but if someone you know comes in contact with them please warn them. These things unfortunately often go under the radar because they are able to just get away with it. *** of consent and control beyond limits and discussions had is pure *** and I’m so sorry if you personally went through this. Please know there are actually men out here who believe in consent not just “doms” taking advantage. I hope this is helpful and if not I apologize for opening my mouth.

[Ar****]

I know you've said you hope people will tell you that you're overreacting... you do yourself a disservice. You have every right to be angry. That information is not his to disseminate. Even I'm angry about it.

[po****]

You are not overreacting. He violated your trust and regardless of the nature of your relationship, he has crossed the line and he should be outed. His current partner should also know that nothing that she does or shares with him is private or confidential. And he was warning you about a predator/consent violator? HE IS THE ONE. You should delete all your profiles and content so it can't be downloaded and used against you. I never give my identity away and absolutely no one would know who I really am for this very reason. It's not because I have anything to hide. It's because someone somewhere I had a relationship with or anyone seeking revenge could out me and ruin my high profile career and even blackmail me. I am sorry to hear that you are being victimized but you have every right to be upset.

[Ry****]

I’d probably warn people of someone with multiple active profiles as well! That’s what seems pretty shady to me.

[Ar****]

If you’re doing nothing nefarious with the multiple profiles, I see nothing wrong with them.

Unless he knew that you were acting unethically with the several profiles, then there was no valid reason to expose them.

The fact that he did so solely to this female, seems to me as if he was showing off. Or trying to demean you, as a way to delight her.

If one of these are the case, then he’s an ass.

I say all of this hoping that you are not doing anything “weird”, and only have the profiles for either safety or benign amusement.

[xm****]

What was his reasoning for telling her is my curiosity?…that’s a privacy thing he shouldn’t disclose to anyone without your consent (my opinion) unless for some reason you’re harassing/harming others 🤷‍♀️

[po****]

2 hours ago, Archangel_Azazel said:

If you’re doing nothing nefarious with the multiple profiles, I see nothing wrong with them.

Unless he knew that you were acting unethically with the several profiles, then there was no valid reason to expose them.

The fact that he did so solely to this female, seems to me as if he was showing off. Or trying to demean you, as a way to delight her.

If one of these are the case, then he’s an ass.

I say all of this hoping that you are not doing anything “weird”, and only have the profiles for either safety or benign amusement.

Wait, when you have a relationship with someone it only succeeds if there is trust. It doesn't matter what the specifics are, you don't go behind someone's back without their consent and reveal personal and private information. Especially with a new partner who didn't need to know about the identity and content of those profiles. At the very least, he could have asked for consent and either it would be yes or no. The point is, we all have the right to maintain anonymity on the websites we use not only because of protection from people with bad intentions but to shield us from criminal victimization. What if someone was threatening to reveal certain personal information about you unless you paid them what they wanted. If it is wrong for a site to give out your personal information and identity, it is also wrong for anyone else to do without your consent. It doesn't matter if it's your Facebook account/profile or a Fetish Community like this one.

[Ar****]

@poonocchio69, My statement was to the fact that if she was in no way behaving in a harmful manner than he didn’t need to put her. If she was doing something that he knew was a bit shady, then he could have been informing the new gf to be wary.

I don’t think that is the case, but it was my only caveat on the issue.

[ge****]

4 hours ago, RyderHolliday said:

I’d probably warn people of someone with multiple active profiles as well! That’s what seems pretty shady to me.

How is having multiple profiles shady? I know many people on another site I used to use that do for various genuine reasons, none of them shady.
.
Think you've missed the point completely, regardless of the OPs reason for them, her trust has been ***d.
.
Now whilst I acknowledge there are two sides to every story, and this guy *may* have had reason to reveal this information, it doesn't automatically give him the right to do so either.

[Se****]

8 hours ago, Lady_Char said:

Why are you angry? Because they were discussing you? Because you think she probably looked you up? Do you think she's going to use this information on some way? Best thing is to pinpoint exactly why you don't like this so you can tell him and say not to do it again.

Does it violate consent? Idk. Did you ask him not to say? Or did you assume he'd be discreet? (Insert you know what they say about assume blah blah blah lol).

He knew not to share the information. In ways I can’t discuss (I’m not trying to be difficult) it compromises my safety. 

Considering he set up my “safe” account he is fully well aware that there is no reason for ANYONE to know of any links. 

x

[Su****]

Sorry babe! In retrospect it's only one person. Your feelings are valid but don't let them cloud the whole picture.

[po****]

I don't know why there are those here who don't understand that this is a *** of the right to privacy and nobody has any reason or excuse to justify it. It doesn't matter what was going on between both people. It is wrong.

[St****]

It's gets easier with a lil time.

[Deleted Member]

I only prey on the ones that want to be preyed on! You’re over reacting 😂!