Deleted Member Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 So, we all do things differently. Every person's approach to BDSM is different and when they interact with others their dynamics are all totally different. Isn't that ***y brilliant? I think it is. I love how there is room to be creative, to do what makes your heart happy within the world of BDSM. My way is unique to me. I'm all about the *** and the more people inflicting said *** on me the better. I'm not big on aftercare (a hug and some sweets and I'm good!) and I'm not looking for 'the one'. My way will probably change but it will always be my way. What's your way? How do you do BDSM? Please refrain from negatively commenting about other people's ways. This post is all about celebrating our wonderful, unique differences and all the ways we can enjoy BDSM. But of course safety and being risk aware are massively important within BDSM. There are some things you have to do to enjoy yourself in a fun, safe (or risk aware) manner anything that is dangerous and/or against our guidelines will be removed.
Jed Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 As always Victoria your posts make excellent reading and have within them a great deal of sensibility towards OUR world. For me it's a mixture of many things, specifically my sense of being a gentleman with my lady, that encourages her submissive side, coupled within that our dynamic has an ebb n flow that allows free communication and the ability to question and determine the right course or path, sprinkle in the rewards, nurturing and good aftercare allows us to explore the very boundaries we all seek. As a footnote to any aspiring Dom, if you treat them well, show respect and don't think this is all about *** and *** you may find your feet rather quickly(and so much more enjoyable) That's my formula, it works well for Me, but find yourself first, question what it is you want, and then take the next step. 😈
Fimus Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 For me, it is entirely about losing all control. The *** is incidental - I take it because the mistress/master enjoys it. When it comes to sex, I exist to serve - I have spent far too much of my life being in control and now I want nothing more than to relinquish it
Deleted Member Posted August 16, 2018 Author Posted August 16, 2018 I love this Victoria, to put it in its simplest terms for me everything is about care. I enjoy providing a release, an aid, a care for my subs. While I am very varied in my approach between types of subs and individuals at the core of it I still care for and look after anyone under my wing, I enjoy *** and pleasure and more than anything something I find is not unique to my approach but makes it special is my use of power illusion, of giving certain freedoms to my subs only to tear them down (with consent and care obviously) its all about building them up so i can tear them down
3S**** Posted August 16, 2018 Posted August 16, 2018 I can pretty much only do it when in a relationship, i have met some people with consent issues so that means i need a lot of trust now to even meet someone (additionally i've always felt it's better to be able to trust myself enough to know i am not harming the other person which i can only do if i'm certain of the other person and know them fairly well). The casual stuff i've done was fun in itself but was mostly foot fetish, feminisation, ***, and leash type stuff, so pretty tame but i felt like they were safe to engage in. I'm more open to experimenting also when i feel safe so that's a plus as well. I don't think my way of doing it is that unique, especially in a space where the potential for *** is there. I don't mind and have been patient and waited rather than take risks and stuck to my own limits. I do admire people that have the confidence to know what they are doing in a casual way, i feel like overall the BDSM scene is safe and have been welcomed into it whether it's online or at munches. Like MisterKBDL above i also enjoy the caring aspect of BDSM and you don't really get that from casual people as they don't seem to want it, i just have different needs from those people and that's ok. I met someone on here via the treasure hunt game and really happy right now, he's into a lot of the stuff i am into and we've both tried new things together by now. We seem really compatible outside of BDSM as well and our families get on so things are looking good and i'm glad i waited. Idk if i even explained anything there? Lol.
Deleted Member Posted August 17, 2018 Author Posted August 17, 2018 Thanks for sharing your ways with me, it's fascinating to see the differences and the overlaps. I love it :)
BigPolly Posted August 17, 2018 Posted August 17, 2018 It’s so nice to see that someone else @victoriaBlisse who sidesteps the aftercare (don’t try that at home kids) I answered a post recently about how I’d rather get up, get dressed & leave than wait for aftercare as that way I was responsible for myself, any bruising etc & any subdrop. Mine is like yours it’s very much about the *** aspect, also because I was a Domme for so many years I have a personal mental battle with myself to find someone who can get me to my limits (not yet achieved) so play/punishment often involves me refusing to back down in anyway & letting go of that control 100% I love the exhibition/voyeurism side of things & I like anything at all that causes the most intense extreme anticipation. I’ve made no secret on here about how I have never had nor am I interested in a full time D/s relationship, only played with folk on occasions, over short periods or as one offs. I’m happy to continue experiencing all of the different things out there that people have to offer rather than being owned.
Fimus Posted August 18, 2018 Posted August 18, 2018 Odd how we are all different! I like to be reduced to tears and then given a long cuddle
Deleted Member Posted August 18, 2018 Author Posted August 18, 2018 17 hours ago, BigPolly said: It’s so nice to see that someone else @victoriaBlisse who sidesteps the aftercare (don’t try that at home kids) I answered a post recently about how I’d rather get up, get dressed & leave than wait for aftercare as that way I was responsible for myself, any bruising etc & any subdrop. Mine is like yours it’s very much about the *** aspect, also because I was a Domme for so many years I have a personal mental battle with myself to find someone who can get me to my limits (not yet achieved) so play/punishment often involves me refusing to back down in anyway & letting go of that control 100% I love the exhibition/voyeurism side of things & I like anything at all that causes the most intense extreme anticipation. I’ve made no secret on here about how I have never had nor am I interested in a full time D/s relationship, only played with folk on occasions, over short periods or as one offs. I’m happy to continue experiencing all of the different things out there that people have to offer rather than being owned. My aftercare needs are minimal. I tend to try to have some time just to chill, watch telly and snuggle with my hubs (he isn't always the guy who I've played with) after a scene but that's more about physical recovery I think. I play to the extreme and it can be exhausting. :) I very much appreciate having the Dom I played with check in with me, I have only experienced sub drop once, and the guy wasn't able to physically come check on me but he kept in contact through messages. It's an important aspect, but self after care is totally a thing. I think you've got that down pat. For me, I'm in a committed marriage - we've been together 20 years, married for 18 so I have my one. He's just not that into hurting me. He can be (and he's fantastically good at it) but when he's not feeling it, I find other willing Dom types to beat me. It's only ever play, only ever will be. I'd like to experience different dynamics ,I have a sub side and I don't get to play with that lots, it's mostly my masochist who gets out to play. But any sub play would just be that, occasional scenes for the fun of all parties involved. :)
ey**** Posted August 19, 2018 Posted August 19, 2018 Mostly. I just wing it ;) (I've had a bit of a rough few days and took a break from a whole bunch of sites, I'm feeling a bit better now - but... I'll give a proper answer in a few days time) although Winging it - is kinda close.
BigPolly Posted August 20, 2018 Posted August 20, 2018 14 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: Mostly. I just wing it ;) (I've had a bit of a rough few days and took a break from a whole bunch of sites, I'm feeling a bit better now - but... I'll give a proper answer in a few days time) Winging it is an excellent way, I’ll agree with that! hope things are getting easier for you. we only show people the side of us we want them to see so when we have a rough time (especially us outspoken ones) people are surprised that we’re not invincible! You’re human & it’s ok to not be ok! 😊 its Monday & Mondays are amaaaazing as you never know what the week has in store, good, bad or indifferent, it’s like stepping into a new mini adventure every 7days!.....were all just winging it (see what I did there 😬) Anyway sending love 🌞 x
ey**** Posted August 20, 2018 Posted August 20, 2018 10 hours ago, BigPolly said: hope things are getting easier for you. we only show people the side of us we want them to see so when we have a rough time (especially us outspoken ones) people are surprised that we’re not invincible! You’re human & it’s ok to not be ok! 😊 thank you... it's a long story that can go waaaay off topic - but a couple of days rest and recovery has helped....
ey**** Posted August 20, 2018 Posted August 20, 2018 my way... it's... changeable... So. I'm a switch. I'm married. And tend to be Dominant towards my wife - and although we have played the other way round - especially to help her with filming as she produces her own content - but whilst it's certainly fun it's not "quite the same" I am a filming slave and have travelled around the UK and Europe and this has led me to meet lots of amazing people, some of which I've had somewhat of a relationship with - one of which we're going to be looking at a more formalised D/s relationship - which may well be a little bit bespoke vs "twue way" I'm also a house Dominant at a CP event, although I'm slightly suspect if that'll continue because of assorted changes (someone key relocating) So, I enjoy a lot of casual play - where it isn't necessarily going to be any form of structured relationship (exceptions above) in a "let's do something cool together" kind of way - which - well - different strokes and there's always a joking irony that there are those I can meet up with for stuff travelling around the country - there was a baron period where I was like a spectator locally! But, even that is constantly changeable. When I say casual, I don't necessarily mean NSA - whereas a set up where everyone was trustworthy but anonymous/semi-anonymous would be hot as fuck - it's usually with people I have at least a friendship relationship
Deleted Member Posted September 1, 2018 Author Posted September 1, 2018 I enjoy seeing everyone's unique ways of doing things, so giving this a little bit of a bump. :)
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