Kink relationship (Asexual or low libido)

[Deleted Member]

How does a kink relationship work if one or both people are asexual?

A lot of guys that I have liked have a high libido and I have a low libido and I am sexually repressed.

I am not obsessed with sex  but like sex otherwise, but I have issues related to it. I don't want to dokink related things 24/7 either, some men are not willing to compromise on some things. 

[TheCenobite]

In my experience relationships between people with wildly different libidos are hard to maintain for any length of time. You can compromise a certain amount, all relationships involve compromise after all but too much difference and one party is going to be unhappy. I have certainly known people who separate kink and sex so it must be possible, though personally I am not sure it would be something I could do long term.

[Deleted Member]

this is why you need to find someone suitable for you? early before you asked for sugar daddy rl, well it doesnt have to be a sexual one, find a sugar daddy with no interest in sex.

[Deleted Member]

I know a few asexual kinksters, I guess everyone's dynamic is different.  It's all about finding the person who clicks with you. It might be that you have a kink based or romance based relationship together but you get other aspects from other people, if that works for you. 

And if a person isn't willing to compromise, then they might not be the right person for you. Which is fair enough. 

Basically, do what you're happy with., that's the main thing. 

[Deleted Member]

I have a low libido and I don't want sex all the time or to do kink related things 24/7 either. It makes it difficult to find anyone that I am compatible with in terms of kinks or limits.

I am just curious about the sugar daddy, sugar baby type of relationship since some men have asked me about it but not experienced with sex, dating or kink in general. I am probably more likely to want to have sex with a guy that I want to be with long-term and in a monogamus relationship and I love them unconditionally.

[Deleted Member]

vampire you like me im not much for sex love the for play and bondage but sex is just not me lol

[Deleted Member]

I have issues with intimacy, sex or being touched due to men being abusive to me. It makes me feel disgusting, dirty or worthless like my only purpose in life is to please men, which I know isn't true. I know I deserve better, I respect myself and I will stand up for myself.

[3S****]

I have intimacy issues also, there's such a thing as a counter-dependent and this is me. I almost sabotaged my relationship last night because of it but i am getting help from SAA (they help with intimacy also via SLAA, sex is how i sabotage though so is why i am back seeking help from them specifically). Plus the guy i am seeing is really patient and listens, i've found these people to be really rare in my life and helpful in making me feel safe but even so i don't expect him to take on all my problems as i know they're quite specialised and i need help from people who know what they are doing. I'm asexual also and don't really find anyone sexually attractive, but also hypersexual so use sex as a coping mechanism and want a lot of sex (my hypersexuality will calm down when i feel safe though).

I think an asexual relationship can work, if both people have no interest in sex then of course they're perfect for each other when compatible in other ways too. From being online a few years i think most people use the internet to seek out sexual encounters though, especially on sex focused sites, and from experience most guys seem to want a lot of sex so i've mostly been able to find guys who can match my libido. Maybe finding the right person for you will be hard? You're already finding this out is seems.
 

[Mi****]

I find it easy to seperate kink and sex and I'm not sure anyone could cope with kink 24/7. Its just a case of finding the right person for you as with any relationship. You may have to wait onger for the right one to come along but it is definitely worth the wait

[Deleted Member]

Not sure if I am asexual but have some interest in sex, I like roleplaying online but not experienced with kink/bdsm type of relationship.

I have issues with men and sex due to the way men have treated me, so now I am sexually repressed and have a low libido.