Fantasy and fetishes

[cuddles3672]

What if a straight guy has a fantasy and/or fetishes but strictly is only in private with someone of opposite sex. Has zero tendencies of becoming anything else that ppl will try to label them by. And will never want any of these said fetishes and/or fantasy to be involved in any shape or form in public. So why are others so quick to judge. Example: if he likes this or likes that he must be curious or bi or cis or trans or that. What if this fantasy and/or fetish is their release from how hard the world is and of his own life and just wants to have a good time with someone. If the one they are with is perfectly fine with it. That said fetish could even be prelude or form of foreplay and simply want to enjoy themselves  in private without judgement or labeling.

Not everything has to be lifestyle choice unless both are in serious relationship and even then those said fantasy or fetishes may still want to be kept done only in private.

Regardless if said partner wants to explore their own fetishes and or fantasies that same person would be more then happy to explore that with them as well.

It's all about communication and what others like.

But in chats or bdsm sites or from videos I have noticed anyone who likes anything seems as though the one they are with has no choice but to be everything they dont want to be. And  in my opinion for some...this could ruin their fantasy and or fetishes all together and not be in happy circumstance and would feel trapped.

If someone tries to share their thoughts of their fetish that they may wish to experience some day with someone of their opposite sex on the bdsm sites or some chat sites of them they should not be so quick to label or judge them. Yet for longest time all this type of thing still keeps going on. Haven't all those other genders and ones who never wanted labeling had faught so long to no longer have this done onto them yet others still keep doing it. 

 

Anyhow this is just my thought.

[Darren-wm]

I see what your saying . I can only add that I'm Demi-sexual straight and looking for a one on one relationship with a Demi-sexual woman who feel as I do . I want us both to share our fantasies fetishes desires . As long as we set ground rules and follow them accordingly just discussing our kinks . Thats what I want . By the way my kink is CNC ( consensual non consent ) so it's pretty hard core fetish

[cuddles3672]

I totally agree ground rules and the partner of choice is in agreement to what you both want out of either of your kinks or fetish is great. I did not write this post out of experience only from what I've observed from different bdsm sites if someone discusses something in chat or post something with a question on a forum not all but some can still end up trying to label someone. Like if guy likes something that is feminine but only in private they are quick to judge or say something. Or if you end up with a mistress you discuss it she may think immediately something then may tell you they know what you want when they may not again being quick to judge. I still have not got any experience yet in bdsm or kinks with anyone yet. Been hard times since covid and now with canada going into a recession and I am having to move in fall same area just out of place I live due to new owners. I really do hope I get to meet someone locally but I guess timing will be everything. I hope I did not offend anyone with my post I am only stating from observational purposes and wondering what people thoughts on the subject was.

[Deleted Member]

I think we are to quick to label. I may want a sexual experience with a woman but I don’t feel I’m bi. Just sexual. Yet everyone wants to label everything.

[ey****]

I think that.

People generally don't mean to sound judgey when they use labels in most cases.   Sometimes there isn't tone on the internet and that can affect how both you perceive things (or how things you say are perceived)

I think of course sometimes people do get things wrong. 

It is important not to take things too much to heart sometimes. But also of course if people are getting the wrong end of what you are saying, stepping back and seeing if this is something you can communicate differently. 

[cuddles3672]

@queenbee that was good example on how people may perceive things wrong with what your intentions are @eyemblacksheep I know what you mean ppl dont try to judge but in today society it can still embedded into everyone as back of their heads it's always how you say things and how people perceive them if you say it the wrong way or with certain tone they may perceive it as something totally different. It is all about communication. As for taking things to heart .....look at today society how no one can say one thing that can be said by accident for someone by race color of skin gender in society you can actually get in serious trouble in some places even by law and yet online in bdsm online or anything to do with fetishes anyone can perceive things wrong and its immediately dismissed or they say not to take to heart. As I am returning after 10 months absence from this site I just learned soon reentering ppl are not as welcoming in chat as used to be but at least in forums they are responsive. I have also learned that women have been getting even more flooded with messages then before. I personally if I like someone that has either messaged me or sent me a like or something I will not go around messaging anyone unless I'm interested in just chat or in more but will not flood others messages. Things certainly have changed since I been away.

[cuddles3672]

Everyone saying covid has really affected minds of others they say it all the time online and in the news. Working in retail I see this often in customers with their lack of patience and disrespect a lot more then used to be so when a customer actually thanks you for your help you're getting thrown back since you havent been used to hearing this as often anymore. Upon reentering some places online from forums chats and others I've been reading up on how things have really changed since covid.