Sub on sub play and romantic relationships ?

[scientistxSaturday]

I like the idea of being subby with another sub/s
Any personal experiences? Tips and tricks, ideas, or methods?
If there are rules and check ins, how might one in*** them? How would you bring starting this dynamic up to another sub?

[Cheekysub247]

I think it all depends what activities you both want to do, essentially if anything involves more dominant traits then both need to be happy to switch(if only temporary), if its more mutual sexual pleaaure(no dominance) then it would be like any other sexual encounter.
You and the other person need to decide your rules, your check ins ect. People can only offer advice on what they have done.
You bring it up like you do in any other conversation, when you know them enough you suggest this is something you are interested in and would they like to discuss it x

Edited June 20, 2022 by Cheekysub247

[ge****]

Not sure if you mean submitting to another sub (which would require them to be a switch), submitting to another sub who is in turn under the control of a dominant (in which case ultimately you'd be submitting to the dominant and not the submissive) or submitting alongside another sub to a dominant (in which case you'd be submitting to the dominant not the sub)?
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So perhaps if you expanded a little on your meaning you may get more meaningful answers.

[ey****]

How would you like the dynamic to work?

 

I do know romantic relationships where both are subs or both are Dominants - though, they often do D/s play outside of that relationship 

[Lord_Talion]

You make the rules to your dynamic. Everything else is more guidelines, like the pirate code.

[Darkclit]

Honestly it's incredible to get to meet another sub in a really naughty mode....

[scientistxSaturday]

Monday at 07:47 AM, gemini_man said:

Not sure if you mean submitting to another sub (which would require them to be a switch), submitting to another sub who is in turn under the control of a dominant (in which case ultimately you'd be submitting to the dominant and not the submissive) or submitting alongside another sub to a dominant (in which case you'd be submitting to the dominant not the sub)?
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So perhaps if you expanded a little on your meaning you may get more meaningful answers.

Submitting to a sub under the control of a dominant is something im interested in but it feels more clear, makes more sense to me, like id know how to have

Even though it doesn't appeal to me as much because i really like the idea of people expressing interest in me in a way that indicates complete ownership n responsibility of their actions. With that, they could have the excuse that theyre doing it partly because the Dom wants them to, not because of a desire to be close to me specifically.

I like being able to tease people and hold it over their head how much they like me and make them squirm. I want to help them explore all their emotions and perspectives deeply and their feelings for me is an easy one to be playful about, in my experience its easier to open up about any *** associated with experiencing love than difficult feelings associated with other, less overwhelmingly positive emotions.

I like the idea of certain actions and conversational styles typically associated with a dominant headspace coming from more Submissive motive and headspace. Like i experience alot of subbyness around someone keeping me on task with goals i have around traits I want to display, like humor, storytelling, analysis. Or more concrete goals like a certain amount of art per day. Evaluating me and telling me how i could improve, praise.

And while I havent seen it discussed I could see how a Submissive could want to do that. I like this idea of (only to the amount which is within everyone's capacity) being each others personal assistants, each others worshipers.

Ive heard similar descriptions when 2 poets fall intensely in love with each other, so it sounds like originally vanilla people can stumble into a similar dynamic. both placing a big emphasis on being overwhelmed with adoration for each other. The Submissive gaze, as a perceiver. While also being very open to being explored introspectively and being utilized for your skills.

It feels like a different sort of connection then if I'd be receiving that as a dominant than a Submissive. And its one id like to cultivate but i know that alot of Submissives get pushed to be dominants so I want to ask carefully

Things like tying up as an act of worship. Being displayed at play parties as an act of devotion, wanting to share with the world that which you adore.

Or 2 brats pushing each other until relenting into each other. 2 pets being pets with each other, nuzzling, playing games like tug of war and tackling.

Im not sure if thats something other people would want or if other people's submission comes from a similar place as mine. In my head i could totally do all the stuff id do as a dom as a sub, but im also a switch anyways.

So i dont know what exact scenario i would like because itd depend on the other person's desires. Hence questions not statements.

I also am curious about things aside from their capacity to actually help me in the way i think i want to be helped so i want to hear everything along the lines of this topic.

I mostly elaborate my personal desires as a way to explain my curiosity, but im curious about lots of things i dont want, and the information people give in response to these questions can be used to help people who do want it.

It sounds like when i ask these questions some people think that i wouldn't want any information that's exactly relating to my stated desires, but i also dont presume to understand everything about myself, and often the best way to do that for me is using facts, experiences are great but im already pursuing those. Facts can come in quicker, incur less risk, and frequently make things clearer and feel better than experiences.

Id love books but I need better Reccomendations as most i just hear stuff I've already before, and I'm finding information by asking here ive found no where else.

I can't tell if that seems unclear because of some hidden way to communicate that that im missing or just a fundamental difference in the way i experience curiousity. Essentially my experience of when this asking thing goes wrong is Instead of answering the question as it is written they are assuming a motive and writing a response to meet it. But that assumed motive is too narrow, i have like 10 motives and im curious covers a range of me appreciating all possible answers, hence broad question.

I imagine I seem confused and frustrated but this isnt an attempt at aggression, you seem nice and like youre just trying to be helpful, you're just the person whos giving me the opportunity to give any future confused forum reader the context that might make it easier to understand n reply.

[ge****]

3 hours ago, scientistxSaturday said:

Submitting to a sub under the control of a dominant is something im interested in but it feels more clear, makes more sense to me, like id know how to have

Even though it doesn't appeal to me as much because i really like the idea of people expressing interest in me in a way that indicates complete ownership n responsibility of their actions. With that, they could have the excuse that theyre doing it partly because the Dom wants them to, not because of a desire to be close to me specifically.

I like being able to tease people and hold it over their head how much they like me and make them squirm. I want to help them explore all their emotions and perspectives deeply and their feelings for me is an easy one to be playful about, in my experience its easier to open up about any *** associated with experiencing love than difficult feelings associated with other, less overwhelmingly positive emotions.

I like the idea of certain actions and conversational styles typically associated with a dominant headspace coming from more Submissive motive and headspace. Like i experience alot of subbyness around someone keeping me on task with goals i have around traits I want to display, like humor, storytelling, analysis. Or more concrete goals like a certain amount of art per day. Evaluating me and telling me how i could improve, praise.

And while I havent seen it discussed I could see how a Submissive could want to do that. I like this idea of (only to the amount which is within everyone's capacity) being each others personal assistants, each others worshipers.

Ive heard similar descriptions when 2 poets fall intensely in love with each other, so it sounds like originally vanilla people can stumble into a similar dynamic. both placing a big emphasis on being overwhelmed with adoration for each other. The Submissive gaze, as a perceiver. While also being very open to being explored introspectively and being utilized for your skills.

It feels like a different sort of connection then if I'd be receiving that as a dominant than a Submissive. And its one id like to cultivate but i know that alot of Submissives get pushed to be dominants so I want to ask carefully

Things like tying up as an act of worship. Being displayed at play parties as an act of devotion, wanting to share with the world that which you adore.

Or 2 brats pushing each other until relenting into each other. 2 pets being pets with each other, nuzzling, playing games like tug of war and tackling.

Im not sure if thats something other people would want or if other people's submission comes from a similar place as mine. In my head i could totally do all the stuff id do as a dom as a sub, but im also a switch anyways.

So i dont know what exact scenario i would like because itd depend on the other person's desires. Hence questions not statements.

I also am curious about things aside from their capacity to actually help me in the way i think i want to be helped so i want to hear everything along the lines of this topic.

I mostly elaborate my personal desires as a way to explain my curiosity, but im curious about lots of things i dont want, and the information people give in response to these questions can be used to help people who do want it.

It sounds like when i ask these questions some people think that i wouldn't want any information that's exactly relating to my stated desires, but i also dont presume to understand everything about myself, and often the best way to do that for me is using facts, experiences are great but im already pursuing those. Facts can come in quicker, incur less risk, and frequently make things clearer and feel better than experiences.

Id love books but I need better Reccomendations as most i just hear stuff I've already before, and I'm finding information by asking here ive found no where else.

I can't tell if that seems unclear because of some hidden way to communicate that that im missing or just a fundamental difference in the way i experience curiousity. Essentially my experience of when this asking thing goes wrong is Instead of answering the question as it is written they are assuming a motive and writing a response to meet it. But that assumed motive is too narrow, i have like 10 motives and im curious covers a range of me appreciating all possible answers, hence broad question.

I imagine I seem confused and frustrated but this isnt an attempt at aggression, you seem nice and like youre just trying to be helpful, you're just the person whos giving me the opportunity to give any future confused forum reader the context that might make it easier to understand n reply.

Thanks, I think that's made it clearer (a little anyway 😉) - and to be clear, I wasn't challenging anything, more seeking clarity to allow myself and others to answer you better.
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Essentially it sounds like you're talking about finding another submissive and there be an element of power struggle between you to establish control - or even find an equilibrium that contains elements of control on both sides, but a deep seated connection as submissives - would that be about right?
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Of course *anything* is possible to find it's just a case of finding the right people