Mental Health Support

[Deleted Member]

People will think differently, but this is my way. This is personal for me, and my own issues. No offense, people with mental illness have bad stigma not only from ignorant people, BUT alot from people with mental health issues being abusive, doing stupid things, out control... you name it! I have met... MET people like us who were complete a-holes!! Back to me...  I only tell people when needed. Not into wanting support, or looking either. Like I said... at the end, you can only improve yourself. Another reason in doing alone, because I believe it makes you stronger. I want to make sure 1000% NOT to become codependent on anything!! We can become codependent without realizing. About people's view. On a different forum, a member made the comment "You can't control anyone else before you can control yourself." What does this have to do with other people's view. People are going to have their own views, and it is their right and freedom to do so. If you don't like their thinking, you have the choice to be around those people or not. If you are stuck... you have the choice to keep distant. Like the member said "you can control yourself".

[La****]

I am happy to talk with anyone who has concerns about their mental health. I cannot say I am a professional but I do have experience in the psychology field and direct experience.

[le****]

Im compeatly co dependent on my ex so much so that i dont know how to live on my own. We just recently split after 10 yrs its been coming for a few years. Not gunna go into to much detail there isnt enough words lol. But basically its me and my mental health that destroyed it

[Ha****]

14 hours ago, kiseu said:

People will think differently, but this is my way. This is personal for me, and my own issues. No offense, people with mental illness have bad stigma not only from ignorant people, BUT alot from people with mental health issues being abusive, doing stupid things, out control... you name it! I have met... MET people like us who were complete a-holes!! Back to me...  I only tell people when needed. Not into wanting support, or looking either. Like I said... at the end, you can only improve yourself. Another reason in doing alone, because I believe it makes you stronger. I want to make sure 1000% NOT to become codependent on anything!! We can become codependent without realizing. About people's view. On a different forum, a member made the comment "You can't control anyone else before you can control yourself." What does this have to do with other people's view. People are going to have their own views, and it is their right and freedom to do so. If you don't like their thinking, you have the choice to be around those people or not. If you are stuck... you have the choice to keep distant. Like the member said "you can control yourself".

I get what you are saying and I don't necessarily disagree with any of it. We all know someone who will use any kind of health problem (not necessarily just Mental) as an excuse to be toxic, manipulative, or abusive to others. We must stay vigilant of these people.

On the other hand, I've been accused quite a bit of using my mental health issues to try and manipulate, seek sympathy, or use it as an excuse so I wouldn't have to take responsibility for my choices and actions. And every single one of them were dead wrong but not before they did their damage to me. Being open with your mental health struggles is a double edged sword. For every person saying I'm using my illness as a way to get people to feel sorry for me, I get two messages in my inbox thanking me for being open because it made them feel better about themselves and their illness. That second group is why I do it. That and I don't think anyone should be ashamed of their afflictions. Not everyone has convenient access to mental health care, even more have trouble affording it regularly enough to make any kind of fast progress. And whole lot more people simply cannot do it alone or without support. Because the trauma they experienced was so bad or so frequent that they have actual brain damage or their view of self is so devastatingly low that they couldn't rely on themselves no matter how hard they try. My point is not too dissimilar from your own actually. Everyone has to find a solution unique for them to heal and grow. Where I'm diverging, however is the idea that doing it completely on your own, without support or a coping mechanism out of *** of codependency doesn't make you any stronger than the person who conquered theirs by being open about it, having a dependable support system, and some coping mechanisms to ease their struggles. Bot are equally as strong. Just like there's nothing special about a person who quits smoking cold turkey when compared to someone that needed gum and the patch. It's just the personal path they chose to get to the same goal worth the sane amount of points. It's also a lot harder for people with personality disorders and the like to "Control thenselves" as it is for some who gets a little sad on the anniversary of their grandpas death and calls that depression or the loss of gramps himself and refer to it as trauma with the same seriousness as someone who was abducted and ***d as a child for years before having a chance to escape. I'm sure you loved your grandpa and was very close to him and him dying of natural causes was traumatic for you but you could probably "Control yourself" and get better. But for the person who was ***ed as a child and the trauma resulted in Disassociative Identity Dosorder might need some thing better than just controlling themselves.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not disagreeing with you at all. I'm just pointing out that no matter what path you need to take to get better, the point is to get better. No one is keeping score or tallying points. Nothing is stronger or better than the others. Getting help and/or getting better is the point and all that matters

The stigma will never go away until people stop splitting hairs over their treatment strategies in order to feel suoerior, stop assuming all of the mentally ill are anything like your worst experience with a sufferer, and most importantly start being both proactive in making the world a safer place to talk openly about our afflictions without *** of stigma and start calling out toxic behaviors no matter what's wrong with them.

But that's just my opinion

[Ha****]

9 hours ago, leatherlover85 said:

Im compeatly co dependent on my ex so much so that i dont know how to live on my own. We just recently split after 10 yrs its been coming for a few years. Not gunna go into to much detail there isnt enough words lol. But basically its me and my mental health that destroyed it

That's tough homie. That's real tough. But being self aware enough to acknowledge you and your mental health probably had a part to play puts you a step or two ahead. I would recommend seeing a therapist at least twice a month to help you cope with having to be independent and responsible for yourself as well as help you absolve yourself of the guilt you feel while treating the aggravating issues of your mental b health.

Everyone in this topic would probably benefit from Katie Morton's YouTube channel. It's helped me out A LOT! Please check it out.
https://youtube.com/c/Katimorton

[le****]

Cheers for the advice mate. Im waiting for therapy it takes awhile in the uk we do have free healthcare but it takes ages

[Ha****]

24 minutes ago, leatherlover85 said:

Cheers for the advice mate. Im waiting for therapy it takes awhile in the uk we do have free healthcare but it takes ages

I'm again recommending Katie Mortons YouTube channel. She has over a thousand videos covering MANY mental health disorders. She explains them in a way that's easy to understand, goes into great detail, informs you on treatments for those disorders, really it's a crash course in everything and it has been VERY helpful and beneficial when it comes to me learning about my own disorders. I think if you have an inkling as to what disorders you have and can't get into a counselor or therapist, then Katies videos are a great way to cope until you can get to an actual therapist.

[Deleted Member]

I have done total of 20 years of therapy. Alot of people are not aware, you cannot go with any therapist. The "key" is you have to find the right one for you. The right one will help you tremendously, but the wrong one will be of no help or make it worse. The first visit should always be an interview for both you. You need to know what their speciality is, the type of methods they learned and believe in, how will they help you become better, and many more questions. You need to ask yourself, will their methods help you?.

This just only a small amount of information.

[Deleted Member]

Lastly, if you want to get better... "you need to do" your research, and homework as well.

[ho****]

I too have the BPD. I write about it on my blog, thebpdgirl.com . I know your struggles >:

[Ha****]

6 hours ago, hollywood787 said:

I too have the BPD. I write about it on my blog, thebpdgirl.com . I know your struggles >:

I'll check out your blog! Would you be okay and/or comfortable with me sliding into your DM's and talking about our shared diagnosis? I completely understand if not and definitely won't take it personally if that's the case. I also promise that my only intentions are to add to my support system and I won't venture from those boundaries (unless for some reason I'm invited to. In that case new boundaries will be discussed and agreed to.). In other words you don't have to worry about me suddenly becoming toxic, mean, rude, abusive...etc. That's not my style. In fact I despise men of those a qualities.

Let me know. And again, I definitely won't take it personally if you're not comfortable with it. I absolutely understand.

[lu****]

Hello everyone 👋

[Ha****]

12 hours ago, luckyosas said:

Hello everyone 👋

Howdy!

[ha****]

Well I hope everyone is treated with respect
Everyone gets horny. It's complicated subject
You really don't want to hurt someones feelings so that's my opinion

[mi****]

Thanks for raising this issue. I too suffer from serious mental illnesses and I find socialising and forming relationships very difficult, which can make me feel very isolated generally also if you couple that with hoping to find someone to build a relationship with, whom is also a fetishised ir experimentalist , seem next to impossible

[Fa****]

I wish everyone the best and if you are in need for a talk hit me up. I too am working to get better and more confident and believe that getting to know myself in every aspect is the way to heal