Commodity or Person

[sW****]

Subtitle: What commodity/object/*** am I today?

I don't know about others, but whenever people start talking about numbers, like 80/20 ratio of attraction or men outnumbering women, I just feel like those types of discussions are negatively objectofying.

It's a number's game? Just cast a wide net?
Are we stocks? Are we fish?

Metaphors ae great an all, but women are not CDs to be pulled put and played at leisure. Women are not fish to be caught and eaten (or beaten and released).

Maybe if you stop objectifying women, women will want you (and let you objectofy them consensually).

[CopperKnob]

Kinda reminds me of the game, ***, Vegetable, Mineral

[Deleted Member]

It doesn't matter what the ratios are. If you're polite, curious and genuine then you'll have people to talk to. Its not about meeting for sex, that's not why I'm here.

For me I want to talk to others expand my kink knowledge and learn more about whats out there. If I meet someone to share and experience new things great but that's not why I'm here.

[ey****]

I think this is one of the reasons why I dislike when people bring these up.

(other than the theory relating to a study almost a decade ago and the theory long since been dubunked)

and a lot plays into the mentality of "if I message 100 people then at least 1 will respond" which, is an approach which again is objectification and shows little regard for the people behind the profiles. 

[oc****]

ok, so this post made me feel a little bit of hope for humanity.

[Deleted Member]

Trying to be open minded. This was before, I finally made my mind to mostly not reply. If the men are writing or sending spanks to every women... please, PLEASE keep track who you sent it to!! I had 3 members sent me some generic message, then sent a nasty message I should send some kind of reply. I told them I did send a polite "no thank you" first time, and it's not my fault if they can't keep track who they messaged, then blocked them!

[Deleted Member]

I agree and honestly I do feel a bit for people who get down from not managing to get any responses from people. As I know how much your own mind can be your biggest enemy and read way to into things.
However I do hate seeing people say things like "I've been here 6 weeks and nothing has happened" ect. As if you're somehow supposed to be allocated a partner within that timeframe. And often people seem to focus on it being the recipients problem (mostly aimed at women tbh) rather than the person accepting that maybe, just maybe they are not sending out good messages or their interactions with people are not that great to begin with.
I could be on here for three years and send 100 messages a day. Yet if I started all of them with "hey bitch want a real master?!" Then naturally I'm not gonna get any responses.
I mean I saw a post just last night where a guy was outraged that women on here have the utter audacity to "want to get to know the person more before going out"........yeah says a lot 🙄

[ey****]

a little stat

over the past 2 years, my response rate is 66%.   That is, in times where I have made the first move to someone who interests me, I have had both a response and meaningful conversation two thirds of the time.

Mind. This is helped and so easy to remember because in the past 2 years I have reached out to someone a total of 3 times.

I would be lying if I said there was no one else who interested me - but for example that I have felt I couldn't offer what they were looking for or whatever

Anyone who sends more than a handful of messages isn't reaching out to people who interest them, they're throwing darts at a board to see what they can hit.  And, I don't want to be too critical of this approach, but, absolutely.

There's also a comparison I'm sometimes hesitant to make but is a similar thing that if you're applying for jobs.  If you apply for a bunch you're not qualified for, you're not going to get a reply.  If you apply for a bunch you are, but send your CV in crayon with a cover letter of "How, f**kers, give me a job!" it's unlikely to get the response wanted either.

Part the reason I am hesitant to make that comparison is that on one hand it's another form of objectification - and - on another, men tend to apply for jobs where they match at least 60% of the criteria and often a company in need of employees will accept the shortfalls ahead of waiting for a perfect candidate - so men are often used to getting roles they shouldn't have because they need filling - whereas, well, women seeking a dating partner don't have to compromise on shortfalls and dealbreakers 

[Deleted Member]

I have to mention this. Alot men here are ignorant! They are objectifying ASIANS! They view us a stupid and easy!!

Fully aware, some of the behaviors they try on me... would never do on a Caucasian or Black/African American women, because they will get their butt kicked!

I had one member say "he does not go to Asia for looking for a wife, or BUY... BUY ASIAN WOMEN".🤦‍♀️

They already made judgement on me based on my yellow skin!

[sW****]

10 hours ago, MaskedDom said:

I agree and honestly I do feel a bit for people who get down from not managing to get any responses from people. As I know how much your own mind can be your biggest enemy and read way to into things.
However I do hate seeing people say things like "I've been here 6 weeks and nothing has happened" ect. As if you're somehow supposed to be allocated a partner within that timeframe. And often people seem to focus on it being the recipients problem (mostly aimed at women tbh) rather than the person accepting that maybe, just maybe they are not sending out good messages or their interactions with people are not that great to begin with.
I could be on here for three years and send 100 messages a day. Yet if I started all of them with "hey bitch want a real master?!" Then naturally I'm not gonna get any responses.
I mean I saw a post just last night where a guy was outraged that women on here have the utter audacity to "want to get to know the person more before going out"........yeah says a lot 🙄

I feel the same sympathy. I get overly excited sometimes and just bounce around like a puppy (and not in a cute or furry way, more like an obnoxious Mastiff-Lab mix that's feet are too big for its body so it knocks everything over and stomps on you). And then, in their wisdom, they either ignore me, wait for me to get the silliest out, or pat my head and send me to my crate. But, I sincerely am interested in people, and I want to pick their brains and engage in banter. And some I'd like to take to the woodshed, tie them to the rafters, and have my way with them. But, if they tell me to frack off or even a kind no thanks, then that's it. And that's how it should be. Nobody owes me attention and time. Nobody owes me a response. And, it would be nice if that were a more widespread attitude.

[Deleted Member]

When assessing general cultural or social trends you ultimately are a number as am I. Obviously individual situations may be unique but you can still make general commentary on a general problem.

 

Women have problems but they mostly don't have the problems men have in this area for multiple reasons.

 

[sW****]

Yesterday at 08:30 PM, Mathbro said:

When assessing general cultural or social trends you ultimately are a number as am I. Obviously individual situations may be unique but you can still make general commentary on a general problem.

 

Women have problems but they mostly don't have the problems men have in this area for multiple reasons.

 

I agree. Here's the difference. When I complain about my experiences, I discuss negative behaviors and generalize. Generalization can also be problematic as it can create bias and negative feelings. However, generalizations are still humanizing. Talking about people as objects is even more problematic. People have tendencies of behavior. But people aren't part of easily calculated equation. Men have a tendency to calculate: If I put in X hours, I should yield Y results. And, when they don't, they blame the object they are making calculations about. Like getting mad at a saw that doesn't cut straight and tossing it across the workshop. But, women aren't saws that don't work right. They are people with their own internal lives they may or may not respond the way someone wants them to.

[Deleted Member]

@sWitchHazel... I had no idea you put a new profile pic . I was like "who is this new member"... did I miss something?.😅 Like your new pic!👍💖

[sW****]

2 hours ago, kiseu said:

@sWitchHazel... I had no idea you put a new profile pic . I was like "who is this new member"... did I miss something?.😅 Like your new pic!👍💖

Hi! I will send you a PM. :)

[sW****]

2 hours ago, kiseu said:

@sWitchHazel... I had no idea you put a new profile pic . I was like "who is this new member"... did I miss something?.😅 Like your new pic!👍💖

Oh, nvm. I can't lol. I wanted to change it, but I could not figure out how. I deleted my 1st pic, then...this one just popped up. I wouldn't have chosen this one, myself. Hahaha. Still learning how to use the app. Thanksnfor noticing. So sweet.