Which one?

[ge****]

8 hours ago, DaddyUSMC said:

Neither cause you got women posting on here that they are looking for a Dom blah blah blah what they want you to do to them and treat them. So you start talking to one and their personality doesn’t even match their profile. They got drama, don’t wanna meet up, they wanna be F’ing penpals, oh I just met you I wanna get to know you better before we talk on phone or video chat or go out….Bishes be playin games up on these apps. Don’t say you want something if you really don’t I ain’t got time for games. Unless you are ready to put you *** where your mouth is stay the F off these apps. Lets be 100% honest people on these apps and trying to wait weeks or months just to talk or video over the phone, hell what gonna play someone for a year before you finally me….GTFOH

What? So people have to use the site the way *you* want them to rather than the way *they* choose to approach it? A way that may have been chosen to sort out the good guys from the red flags for their own safety?
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And you're surprised you get nowhere because?
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Just because someone *may* be looking for something and list it on their profile doesn't mean they are going to jump at the first person that comes along and offers it, without first satisfying themselves that the person *can* offer it and that they will be safe etc, and that's before you even get on to establishing connection, chemistry and compatibility!!.
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The *only* thing it means if someone doesn't want to use the site the way you want to is that you're likely not compatible, so accept it and move on.

[J-****]

They are both a waste of time in my experience. Women just selling their onlyfans accounts. Sad state of affairs.

[J-****]

9 hours ago, DaddyUSMC said:

Neither cause you got women posting on here that they are looking for a Dom blah blah blah what they want you to do to them and treat them. So you start talking to one and their personality doesn’t even match their profile. They got drama, don’t wanna meet up, they wanna be F’ing penpals, oh I just met you I wanna get to know you better before we talk on phone or video chat or go out….Bishes be playin games up on these apps. Don’t say you want something if you really don’t I ain’t got time for games. Unless you are ready to put you *** where your mouth is stay the F off these apps. Lets be 100% honest people on these apps and trying to wait weeks or months just to talk or video over the phone, hell what gonna play someone for a year before you finally me….GTFOH

Amen brother. Bitches need a spanking.

[CopperKnob]

7 hours ago, ravenna600 said:

There are no real women on this site at all.....only fake, and women that want ***....

But a real women....nahhhh they don't exist on this site...

What? Well, I guess as a women who is 'not real' i guess I don't need to go to work today. But hen I won't get paid? Kinda pulls your 'theory' apart huh?

[Mr-Brown]

I've met people off fetlife and fetish. You will get time wasters but you gotta be patient. I've met 5 people off fetish and 2 off fetlife.

[Mr-Brown]

Yea there's fakes. There's fakes on every site (literally every app) but there's also REAL people.

You guys saying everyone is fake, you're conversation skill need sharpening and maybe don't insult someone if they don't immediately say "yes sir" within the first 2 messages..

Problem some men don't know how to talk "normally" here. They go deep into kink shit from the off. That's what's stopping you from meeting someone.

I met someone 2 weeks ago. We had loads of fun 😈.

Also meeting someone next week.

Just don't be a twat lol it's not hard 🤷🏽‍♂️

[ey****]

one thing I've struggled with a bit

if someone genuinely believe this, or any site is just full of fakes, scammers, OF sellers, whatever - why are you here?  And I don't mean that to be passive.   I mean if you're not getting anything of benefit out of the site in other ways (learning, community, etc) then instead of getting pent up why not do something you might find more fulfilling like firing up a video game or TV show - or, I dunno, going outside?

[ra****]

But the problem is so far I have not talked to anyone who was real.....

Each person was fake...saying things like "Oh we can't talk here let's go to a different app where we will be more comfortable.....

Or the other things is pay for sex....

Well I don't do prostitutes.....I am a clean man and am looking for a good woman...

Anyone accepting *** for sexual favors is considered a prostitute...." I don't do leftovers ..."

I am a writer and have great conversational skills and people skills...

But as I have started not one person actually will respond back to anything I post.....

I have searched a 150 sq Mile radius of where I live and after one full month in this site still not on real response..

[CopperKnob]

15 minutes ago, ravenna600 said:

But the problem is so far I have not talked to anyone who was real.....

Each person was fake...saying things like "Oh we can't talk here let's go to a different app where we will be more comfortable.....

Or the other things is pay for sex....

Well I don't do prostitutes.....I am a clean man and am looking for a good woman...

Anyone accepting *** for sexual favors is considered a prostitute...." I don't do leftovers ..."

I am a writer and have great conversational skills and people skills...

But as I have started not one person actually will respond back to anything I post.....

I have searched a 150 sq Mile radius of where I live and after one full month in this site still not on real response..

Ive been here 18mths/2yrs. I've met 1 person IRL.
None of our are reall on an app, we're literally pixels until we meet up.
To say sex workers aren't real? I think you mean, that's not what you're lookimg for

[ey****]

14 minutes ago, ravenna600 said:

I have searched a 150 sq Mile radius of where I live and after one full month in this site still not on real response..

there is missing context - but...

if you are messaging everyone in a 150 mile radius then this ***tergun approach is very off-putting. you're treating women as statistics rather than anyone you're genuinely interested in

of course, the scammers always respond which is why you then get those responses

the people who you are interested in attracting are likely to find the ***ter approach offputting and this may come across in the messages you send

[Deleted Member]

Fetlife although a different site model is essentially the exact same culture as this site. There is a clique order and control imbalance and an establishment embedded. You just have to go on the chatroom to see daily or even hourly/minutely examples of it. I have seen many get banned for nothing because an established person got them banned on their whim. There are other cultural intricacies with the chatroom culture that make it difficult for most newbies. Once you understand the fabric and makeup of this site, it does become easier to navigate through the minefield and try and integrate and mix with the positive aspects and elements.

[ge****]

3 hours ago, portland643 said:

This site sucks in my opinion

If it sucks so much can I ask why you remain? Genuine question not being contentious just interested to know why you would stay somewhere if it sucks in your opinion?
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And what changes would you make so it didn't suck?

[ra****]

It is only my first month......I have tried to have intelligent conversation and yet no one responds......

I can see the scammer and fakes from a miike away..they all have the exact M.O.

Now still waiting to get my first real reply from a lady....

I have slowly expanded my search radius and the fakes or no replies come in.....

I don't understand what I am doing wrong ......

I will just try to be more patient I guess.....but it's discouraging after a month and not one real response from anyone.....

[Deleted Member]

I personally find the forum conversations and private msg conversations are in the main more considered and thought out. The chat room areas have too much instances of ignorance, rudeness and friendliness, I could not recommend. I think there needs to be a bit more variety of different types of chatroom for the many different types of persons and attitudes that exist. It seems there is an easy solution to address some obvious issues.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, ravenna600 said:

I will just try to be more patient I guess.....but it's discouraging after a month and not one real response from anyone.....

patience is massively important in all things kink

you're neither the first, nor the last, to fall into some of this kinda... unrealistic expectation

you join a site, you're very excited - and then hammer away messaging all the women in wider and wider radius until you reach a limit of how far you feel is feasible

From the recipients perspective.  You are just the latest guy who has joined a site and messaged all the women in a wider and wider radius, and they see you are just doing a numbers game and the lack of interest in them as a person usually reflects in the message sent and so even those who might have been interested just don't respond or hit ignore.

Slow down.

Basically, this site (and others) are full of other tools and responses from writings to chat rooms to forums.  Read what is there. Interact with people in chat and forums.  Then if there's someone like "oh, I really like them" you're at least not a stranger in their inbox and it's more likely to get a conversation going.  Which can be nice.

Kink, in general, requires patience.  Because you could end up talking to someone tomorrow and it might take time before they're happy to meet. You might meet and decide, hey, let's make it not just a coffee but a date with a view to a relationship and play - building up a dynamic takes time.

 

[FETMOD-KF]

8 minutes ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

I think there needs to be a bit more variety of different types of chatroom for the many different types of persons and attitudes that exist. It seems there is an easy solution to address some obvious issues.

members are welcome to create their own rooms 

[Deleted Member]

If they pay x yes they are. But even that's not the same is it.

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

What? Well, I guess as a women who is 'not real' i guess I don't need to go to work today. But hen I won't get paid? Kinda pulls your 'theory' apart huh?

Maybe he hit a nerve. I am pretty sure he was not referring to all women. When people talk about something that gets them highly emotive, whether good or bad, they do tend to use terminology in that way. They do not mean it like that, just the high emotion.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

If they pay x yes they are. But even that's not the same is it.

I think it's amazing over the years how many sites have had chat rooms but got rid of them because they're such a *** to administer

Fetlife used to have one around 10 years ago and there's assorted other kink sites who dropped theirs at different points also

for assorted reasons chat rooms are pretty expensive to run (hence why so many places dropped them : not cost effective) so, I dunno, I think that this still has chat, open to all, is good

and as a 'perk' to create new rules as a paid benefit, is pretty good if you want to direct chat in my view

[ki****]

17 hours ago, OhBuddha said:

Fetlife is not very good. I found it hard to navigate and the options limited

Me to

[th****]

Fetlife for sure but it’s not good for meeting people just events and munches and stuff.

[Deleted Member]

I was speaking to a single mom just this morning with a new a baby. Doesn't know what looking for or wants, or even sure if ready to meet someone. This tied up with what appeared to be a conflicted and contradicting profile.

It's a specific example, but it examples the point I'm about to make, which is many simply don't know what they are doing, what they need, or even what their ideal is, and are just bumbling away on here 

Not criticising those in that category, and perhaps none of us are entirely sure.

Edited July 1, 2022 by Deleted Member

[ge****]

1 hour ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

I was speaking to a single mom just this morning with a new a baby. Doesn't know what looking for or wants, or even sure if ready to meet someone. This tied up with what appeared to be a conflicted and contradicting profile.

It's a specific example, but it examples the point I'm about to make, which is many simply don't know what they are doing, what they need, or even what their ideal is, and are just bumbling away on here 

Not criticising those in that category, and perhaps none of us are entirely sure.

Or maybe they are finding their feet in this world and using the site to learn more about the kink world, what appeals and doesn't and find themselves and what they want as a result.
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I think a big part of the problem is too many people place an emphasis on meeting as the *only* purpose of the site.

[Deleted Member]

@gemini_manguilty. Although entirely transparent about that.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

Or maybe they are finding their feet in this world and using the site to learn more about the kink world, what appeals and doesn't and find themselves and what they want as a result.
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I think a big part of the problem is too many people place an emphasis on meeting as the *only* purpose of the site.

Or, meeting someone is all they want and that is their focus. I would say that is the same for someone just wanting to send pictures, wanting just cybersex etc. Fetish. Com is a dating site for folks into kink, bdsm, fetishes and so on. It has extras added into the mix. A lot of the people here, are not into the social thing, don't need their egos streaked by the cliques on the site. They just seem to like kinky sex and would like to connect with someone else who is 😄