LesbianDominant Posted September 4, 2018 Posted September 4, 2018 I was talking to someone the other day about bdsm lifestyles and something she said really bothered me: "female dominance is wrong. Shouldn't it be male being Dom? Kinda weird, ya know?" Several things popped in my mind. I tried to explain to her she's being sexist and it's not wrong at all. She kept wanting to interrupt me and act like she's right and I'm wrong. I eventually got up and left. What do you say? Did I do the right thing? I feel bad for calling her out like that...
BigPolly Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 What an odd thing to tell you!?!? That’s a typical narrow minded line that someone who doesn’t understand the bdsm world would say. Nothing (excluding the obvious ***/***s etc) in bdsm is wrong. We all have different fetishes & different roles & each person is entitled to their own but stating someone can’t play a role because of their gender is just bizarre. You keep doing your thing & ignore any moronic comment 😊
Fimus Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 So long as it is done with informed consent, there is no "wrong". The end
TheCenobite Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 I have encountered similar beliefs in the past (generally from people I quickly realized I have no desire to be friends with), then again I once met someone who thinks planes leave chem trails to increase the cloud cover to we cant see the aliens controlling our weather. People can believe what they like and we are free to point at them and laugh at them for being total wankpuffins.
Nikki_Hexy Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 There are dominant people, there are submissive people and tgere are those inbetween who lovr to switch it up (pun deffinatly intended). Gender has nothing to do with it
3S**** Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 It's an old fashioned view that is considered sexist today but some people still hold it. People submit when they decide to, not just because of their gender. I wouldn't feel bad about having your own opinions, she can have hers too. Debating them isn't a bad thing.
ey**** Posted September 5, 2018 Posted September 5, 2018 a lot depends where she gets her source from - a lot of fiction is M/f orientated. And of course as has been said that there's a rather old school view that men are Dominant, women are submissive - men that are submissive are lesser and women that are Dominant are just acting to appease male subs. Which is all bollocks, really. But, you can understand where misconceptions come from. I wouldn't say call her out, as such, merely correct - that these days it's not uncommon for anyone in any dynamics.
Deleted Member Posted September 7, 2018 Posted September 7, 2018 Some people are narrow minded and are unable to see things from a different perspective it looks as if you’re open minded enough to be able to see the bigger picture!
3S**** Posted September 8, 2018 Posted September 8, 2018 Additionally, I think it's offensive also to you personally because there is no man in your relationship. She could be having a snidey dig right there.
Deleted Member Posted September 9, 2018 Posted September 9, 2018 I don't see how anyone can say it's wrong. What's wrong to them could be right for everybody else. I would keep in mind the pedestal she placed herself on might not be as sturdy as she thinks. I definitely don't think female domination is wrong.
SweetBitch Posted September 17, 2018 Posted September 17, 2018 #1. Don't feel bad!! Why do you feel bad? Because your opinion is different than hers?? She had no issue with her opinion. #2. She is obviously naive and uninformed. #3. Why does either have to be right or wrong???
Li**** Posted September 23, 2018 Posted September 23, 2018 I realize this topic is probably closed, but I joined fetish.com just today. I found your profile on Johnlime's profile who had commented on it and happened to spank me today! I agree with the other commenters. What I would like to add is I understand why you might feel bad. I don't know you, but I have the same characteristic that when I assert myself and the other person just won't listen and actually tries to shame you for it. I feel bad for myself about being assertive and that there was not a meeting of the minds when I should feel bad for the other person because of their blindness. (( I'm an Aquarian and my social style is Amiable / Analytical. )) Usually, for me, that means I just want everyone to get along and generally overthink situations. Sorry for being so wordy. But I can identify with you. The other thing that I wanted to share was that women are the dominant gender in many places and societies. I was first made aware of this is a social studies class in college. Also, I remembered I had seen something in the news some time ago related to this. I found the article on the internet page for Business Insider. "The title of the article is Women Are Now The Dominant Gender And It's Turning The World Upside Down." I think you will find it interesting reading. I'm stopping now. Just one last thing, since I am a day one newbie, I would sure appreciate getting to know you all. Please feel free to contact me for chatting or just add me and I will get back with you. Peace, Love! Libby
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