How dare you?!

[Deleted Member]

13 minutes ago, Charms said:

Yes the rules are on my profile. 

Fair enough 🙂👍. Wasn't being awkward I just asked the question.

[Charms]

15 minutes ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

Fair enough 🙂👍. Wasn't being awkward I just asked the question.

I know you was not being awkward.

If you ever needva chatbas long as you follow my rules your welcome to pm me

[Lo****]

16 hours ago, Mathbro said:

Sure but, a guy could just as easily r*pe or do whatever he wanted to do without mentioning kink his regular OLD profile after a meetup. I suppose you could argue the type of person maybe?  Or perhaps the expectation of sex since it's a sex focused site? I think the benefit of this place is that you can communicate that maybe you are into non-standard sexual practices with the goal of finding others who have similar interests. To be honest though I don't feel particularly compelled to talk about my extensive kinks with someone as long as there is the underlying understanding that hey if we get to the point of having sex, this is something I want to do, at least sometimes. 

Like @CopperKnob said, you’re missing the point. You’re fixated on this idea that meeting someone quickly is the most important thing. If that works for you, fine. It’s up to you (though you will be missing out on a great many people who simply need a little more time before they commit). However, that’s not why I wrote this. 
 

I was highlighting how lovely it is to be treated like a normal person by someone who understands that we are all at different places and  who has taken time to get to know me. We didn’t all join the site five minutes ago. We’re not all in a frenzy of kink-driven lust. Some of us have been here long enough to have found a comfortable spot on the kink sofa and, for whatever reason, aren’t interested in anything beyond chat with like-minded folk. For now.

When you’re in that place, it’s lovely to find someone who is happy to chat too. It’s gold compared to most of the slobbering drivel women receive. 

[Lo****]

9 hours ago, Charms said:

Iv had the super freak message a few times of different men. I always think can you not  come up with a better line.

 

Iv had some realy great chats with people.

Iv had chats on canning food an preserving food

Dairy farming.

And a awesome history lesson about native American history 

 

To name but a few topics iv spoken about in pm.

 

There are people it's taken me months or years to meet that iv spoken to on here.

 

It's not a red flag to me. What is is being told I will meet them now and you will call me sir because I am your dom.

 

Another red glag iv gotten is you will meet me I don't care if your collard an owned and you will not tell your master. He does not need to know so do as your told.

 People like these are soon added to my black list.

 

I would never go to meet any 1 of here with out 1st talking to my master about it as iv madevsome great freinds who I like to go meet have lunch with an go shopping.  Sometimes there's been a group of us. 

 

1 lady iv meet quite a few times. We're also planning on meeting again for lunch an shopping.

 

I'm here to make freinds and if people want to pm me its great as long as they stick to my rules.

 

This. It’s lovely to have people who are just friends but who share an interest in kink. I only know one kinky woman irl (that I know about), but I can imagine a shopping trip or a girls night out where you all have this in common would be a hell of a lot of fun!

[Lo****]

7 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think my point is...

Women : I've had good results with men who it took a while before we actually met

Some Men : We don't have good results.  We also often stop talking to people if they won't meet within a week as we don't think they're serious

Other men : Yeah, we had good results with people we've been talking to for a while

Who is getting the results here and who is not?

Because liking it once wasn’t enough … ❤️

[CopperKnob]

[ge****]

Have been thinking about this a little and can honestly say pretty much all of my on-line interaction on sites like this has started out as just chatting "normally" and getting to know people - yes in some instances it's veered into filth, but only when *both* are comfortable to do so, and usually happens naturally and organically rather than being ***d by one or other person.
.
I'm quite happy to, and in fact enjoy, serious discussion around kink/BDSM/sexuality but at a general almost intellectual level, and again if that happens naturally rather than being ***d it's preferable.
.
As a result of all that I've got to know, and meet (some just socially, some more than socially) some lovely people.
.
No real point to this other than to provide food for thought to anyone reading that thinks "down and dirty" from the get go is the right way to approach the site.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Lockfairy said:

When you’re in that place, it’s lovely to find someone who is happy to chat too. It’s gold compared to most of the slobbering drivel women receive. 

Or men, or other identities. Anyone can receive sobering drivel, it's not exclusive to one gender group.

[CopperKnob]

@Lockfairy, my original comment to you didn't take but it was something like this; the additional point, given the comments in the thread is, that we all have expectations, of ourselves, this site, others and its good to set boundaries as long as we acknowledge that our own boundaries may restrict connections with others who, in time, after conversation and maybe some compromise may be a good fit afterall be that as an acquaintance, friend, more. Its one thing to be accepting of that, it's another to keep on hammering home our own ideologies on others who, quite frankly appear content with how they use this site because they're getting what they seek

[Deleted Member]

39 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Have been thinking about this a little and can honestly say pretty much all of my on-line interaction on sites like this has started out as just chatting "normally" and getting to know people - yes in some instances it's veered into filth, but only when *both* are comfortable to do so, and usually happens naturally and organically rather than being ***d by one or other person.
.
I'm quite happy to, and in fact enjoy, serious discussion around kink/BDSM/sexuality but at a general almost intellectual level, and again if that happens naturally rather than being ***d it's preferable.
.
As a result of all that I've got to know, and meet (some just socially, some more than socially) some lovely people.
.
No real point to this other than to provide food for thought to anyone reading that thinks "down and dirty" from the get go is the right way to approach the site.

You're confusing wanting to meet soon with wanting to have sex as are some of the other posters here.

 

I don't think I have ever discussed my sexuality in depth with any woman online prior to meeting except one girl who sent me a bunch of pictures of her doing BDSM stuff over Snapchat. And that was mostly her...

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, Mathbro said:

You're confusing wanting to meet soon with wanting to have sex as are some of the other posters here.

Aye that's a thing. It's sad so many profiles say "no ONS" especially on vanilla dating platforms. This is where we are though.

[ge****]

35 minutes ago, Mathbro said:

You're confusing wanting to meet soon with wanting to have sex as are some of the other posters here.

 

I don't think I have ever discussed my sexuality in depth with any woman online prior to meeting except one girl who sent me a bunch of pictures of her doing BDSM stuff over Snapchat. And that was mostly her...

I'm confusing nothing at all - I'm giving a perspective based on my experience and how I've approached sites like this - I'm not saying it's one that will work for all, or that all should follow in the slightest beyond the comment about not diving in with sex talk, which should be a given anyway, regardless of whether you want to meet quickly or take your time.
.
I've repeatedly said on this thread that if others choose to approach things differently from anyone that it's simply a case of incompatibility of approach, nothing more nothing less - let them do it their way, you do it yours, neither way is wrong, just different.

[ge****]

37 minutes ago, Mathbro said:

You're confusing wanting to meet soon with wanting to have sex as are some of the other posters here.

 

I don't think I have ever discussed my sexuality in depth with any woman online prior to meeting except one girl who sent me a bunch of pictures of her doing BDSM stuff over Snapchat. And that was mostly her...

I'm confusing nothing at all - I'm giving a perspective based on my experience and how I've approached sites like this - I'm not saying it's one that will work for all, or that all should follow in the slightest beyond the comment about not diving in with sex talk, which should be a given anyway, regardless of whether you want to meet quickly or take your time.
.
I've repeatedly said on this thread that if others choose to approach things differently from anyone that it's simply a case of incompatibility of approach, nothing more nothing less - let them do it their way, you do it yours, neither way is wrong, just different.

Though, with that "different" has to come a level of acceptance that someone that does it differently may not be someone you will meet unless either of you is willing to compromise.

[Deleted Member]

41 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

I'm confusing nothing at all - I'm giving a perspective based on my experience and how I've approached sites like this - I'm not saying it's one that will work for all, or that all should follow in the slightest beyond the comment about not diving in with sex talk, which should be a given anyway, regardless of whether you want to meet quickly or take your time.
.
I've repeatedly said on this thread that if others choose to approach things differently from anyone that it's simply a case of incompatibility of approach, nothing more nothing less - let them do it their way, you do it yours, neither way is wrong, just different.

"No real point to this other than to provide food for thought to anyone reading that thinks "down and dirty" from the get go is the right way to approach the site."

There's an implication in this statement. 

[CopperKnob]

8 minutes ago, Mathbro said:

"No real point to this other than to provide food for thought to anyone reading that thinks "down and dirty" from the get go is the right way to approach the site."

There's an implication in this statement. 

Why have you misquoted Gemini? It looks like your spoiling for an argument when there doesn't need to be one. You both have different points of view which each of you are welcome to have and to share, let it go
I said it before, this was a lovely post from Lockfairy that should be filling many people with hope. All that's happening at the moment is silly point scoring and detracting from her excitement/happiness

[Lo****]

7 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Why have you misquoted Gemini? It looks like your spoiling for an argument when there doesn't need to be one. You both have different points of view which each of you are welcome to have and to share, let it go
I said it before, this was a lovely post from Lockfairy that should be filling many people with hope. All that's happening at the moment is silly point scoring and detracting from her excitement/happiness

Thank you, Copper x

[Deleted Member]

11 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Why have you misquoted Gemini? It looks like your spoiling for an argument when there doesn't need to be one. You both have different points of view which each of you are welcome to have and to share, let it go
I said it before, this was a lovely post from Lockfairy that should be filling many people with hope. All that's happening at the moment is silly point scoring and detracting from her excitement/happiness

I didn't misquote anything, half the posts here have been strawman revolving around the idea that wanting to meetup soon means people either want to have sex right away or engage in sexually explicit discussion. 

Edited July 4, 2022 by Deleted Member

[CopperKnob]

4 minutes ago, Mathbro said:

I didn't misquote anything, half the posts here have been strawman revolving around the idea that wanting to meetup soon means people either want to have sex right away or engage in sexually explicit discussion. 

Whether or not they're strawman is by the by, no one is achieving anything by keeping this line of the conversation going. You've made your point several times to continue is to derail the message in the OP. Maybe now have a little respect for the OP?

[Ar****]

3 hours ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

Or men, or other identities. Anyone can receive sobering drivel, it's not exclusive to one gender group.

Okay, are you remotely for real? We are hitting some top-notch levels of trolling here and it is time to get in the sea. Anybody CAN receive anything, for the most part. Do they receive swathes of slobbering drivel, or is that mostly women?

Of course it's mostly women. That's why so many have inboxes repeatedly brimming over. Besides it has already been argued that the inboxes of men tend to be rather quiet by comparison - people can't argue it both ways depending which way suits.

[Ar****]

2 hours ago, Mathbro said:

You're confusing wanting to meet soon with wanting to have sex as are some of the other posters here.

Nope, that's a projection.

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Aranhis said:

Okay, are you remotely for real? We are hitting some top-notch levels of trolling here and it is time to get in the sea. Anybody CAN receive anything, for the most part. Do they receive swathes of slobbering drivel, or is that mostly women?

Of course it's mostly women. That's why so many have inboxes repeatedly brimming over. Besides it has already been argued that the inboxes of men tend to be rather quiet by comparison - people can't argue it both ways depending which way suits.

I made a quite relevant and sound standalone observation and stand by it. I don't care if it does not fit the narrative or agenda some may have Nor do I care if you wish to jump all over that, but your publicly suggesting I'm trolling. I don't accept that and will ask you to withdraw that allegation. Frankly no need for it. If your not happy with posts for whatever reason, or find anything in appropriate from myself or anyone, suggest you report them.

[ey****]

to be fair, I do sometimes get drivel in my inbox

usually from men to be fair

there seems to be a common denominator 

[Lo****]

12 minutes ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

I made a quite relevant and sound standalone observation and stand by it. I don't care if it does not fit the narrative or agenda some may have Nor do I care if you wish to jump all over that, but your publicly suggesting I'm trolling. I don't accept that and will ask you to withdraw that allegation. Frankly no need for it. If your not happy with posts for whatever reason, or find anything in appropriate from myself or anyone, suggest you report them.

Perhaps you could start your own thread about the slobbering drivel men receive? My thread is from a woman’s perspective because that’s what I experience. It isn’t necessary for me, every time I write something from my perspective, to add an addendum as to what I think other people might experience. Neither is it necessary for other people to point out that I haven’t said it. 

[Ar****]

1 hour ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

I made a quite relevant and sound standalone observation and stand by it. I don't care if it does not fit the narrative or agenda some may have Nor do I care if you wish to jump all over that, but your publicly suggesting I'm trolling. I don't accept that and will ask you to withdraw that allegation. Frankly no need for it. If your not happy with posts for whatever reason, or find anything in appropriate from myself or anyone, suggest you report them.

I apologise, I meant to suggest your words appeared to be trolling rather than to conclusively imply it was, since I was unable to fathom how anybody could seriously claim that other genders receive a similar amount of what we are kindly calling drivel to that which women do - hence my query as to whether you were for real. You tell us your for real? Brilliant, I'm happy for you and anyone else who wants to join the #NotAllMen party, however talk of narratives and agendas belongs squarely in such parties and not in a community which thrives on trust, openness, and communication.

There has been nothing within your posts which I have felt warranted reporting but thank you kindly for telling me how the site works, I hadn't quite figured it out yet.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Aranhis said:

I was unable to fathom how anybody could seriously claim that other genders receive a similar amount of what we are kindly calling drivel to that which women do

Please tell me where I claimed this? Your simply making that up. I haven't made any edits so I think you need to again read and reevaluate the comment post.

 

1 hour ago, Aranhis said:

hence my query as to whether you were for real. You tell us your for real?

Yes I'm for real re what I actually stated (not what your creatively claiming I said). I can't explain something that i haven't said or remotely even implied.

2 hours ago, Lockfairy said:

Perhaps you could start your own thread about the slobbering drivel men receive?

Appreciate the suggestion/invitation but no thanks.

2 hours ago, Lockfairy said:

My thread is from a woman’s perspective because that’s what I experience. It isn’t necessary for me, every time I write something from my perspective, to add an addendum as to what I think other people might experience. Neither is it necessary for other people to point out that I haven’t said it.

Agree is not necessary to add an addendum, I don't believe anyone has suggested you need to either.

That your taking a brief and relevant on topic observation so personally infers to myself a personal comment was made towards you - not the case at all.

Edited July 5, 2022 by Deleted Member
My reply to Lockfairy got embedded in their quote referenced, have fixed/moved.