Nylon-Nellie Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 For me, 10 years either way. My daughter is 30, so for me being in a dynamic with someone the same age or younger as her, doesn't quite cut it for me.
st**** Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 10 hours ago, swphoenix said: I think as long as its legal... my husband was 19 years older than me, and I've had play dates with people significantly younger. Although I have been thinking about this today... because I think when we play with those just starting out we need a higher level of responsibility for considering their needs and willingness to please. Because I'm a gnarly creature now... I know how to say what I think and get my feelings heard. I think in the eagerness to please young subs can neglect their instincts. And where does responsibility to care for that fall? You said where does responsibility lie? Well obviously with the Dom. I take much more care with my 26 year old than I do with my 66 year old because she is so eager to please it would be very easy to *** her trust. Actually I feel very protective of all my subs but mine is an unusual scenario because I don't have sex with any of my subs it is purely a submission and discipline relationship. I also have a daughter and will not Dom anyone below her age because it would just feel wrong. I love being dominant with women but most of all I just love women.
Zi**** Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 I feel the same as you man. Younger women just seem to add energy and light to my life. But although my personal preference is for younger women I say so long as you're both adults the ages shouldn't matter. What does, is if the two people are happy together.
Deleted Member Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 I would say it all comes down to what you like as long as it not illegal. Who cares what society thinks if they know us some of us would be in jail of what we do to others even for their enjoyment. Right now, there is a 22 year gap between myself and my Dom. He is my oldest partner and the biggest age gap. As long as both partners are taking care of the others needs it is not a problem. I normally see the problem with large gaps when the older person can not keep up with the younger person, then it leads to feeling like failure. Just be careful and know your limits so you do not hurt yourself.
Do**** Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 I think it's important to consider what's best for you as well as what's best for your potential subs. As the older one, it's your responsibility to make the right decisions. A dynamic between a 50 year old and, say, a 20 year old will always have some form of imbalance. It's not necessarily a bad thing but a young person may not be prepared for it. They may be ***d to feel less than or like they should listen to everything you say because you're older, more well-adjusted. A younger person who hasn't truly found their place in the world will be too prone to doing things they're not comfortable with if enabled. You could put them in an uncomfortable or dangerous position. I don't truly know the exact age gap that is best for you or every dynamic. I'd say the younger you are, the shorter the maximum age gap should be. The older, the wider the age gap can be. In my opinion, it's not too out of the ordinary if a 50 year old gets with a 30 year old. It would be a bit more dangerous if those same people got together when they were 20 and 40 though. Just my view on things.
eu**** Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 And like I've said age is just a number,young or old should not matter if that person has a normal sex drive or abnormal like some of us we'll fucken get down with yourself enjoy. Good times,sex should be fun enjoyable and no one cares about society.
eu**** Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 And I'll say it again I get hornier the older I get I've yet to meet a partner who can match my sex drive.Even with a bad back I can still get my freak on at what oh' ya I'm 58 years today! Age is just a # and if you can't bring the freak out in your partner, Well it's not them who's not keeping up it's on you. Personally I like older women more experience all around better lovers.
Deleted Member Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 7 hours ago, steadfast said: You said where does responsibility lie? Well obviously with the Dom. I take much more care with my 26 year old than I do with my 66 year old because she is so eager to please it would be very easy to *** her trust. Actually I feel very protective of all my subs but mine is an unusual scenario because I don't have sex with any of my subs it is purely a submission and discipline relationship. I also have a daughter and will not Dom anyone below her age because it would just feel wrong. I love being dominant with women but most of all I just love women. Exactly. But I wonder how many people think like this? And really honour that? How many people are aware the brain isn't fully developed until 25? Likewise play dates with young subs might not involve sex in the traditional sense. Everything has to come with a large helping of respect. And respecting that a sub may not want to do something or may need extra safety precautions, or may need a lesson in why the safety precautions are there because they can't see risk they are putting themselves in.... etc. How many dominant players factor this in to how young is too young?
Da**** Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 I agree with most people here that it's about compatibility not age... that being said, I believe people allow societal norms affect how they see things. So for us in the kink community, we tend to go against the normal anyways...
Bm**** Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 The older I get the hornier I get. I haven't been able enjoy it though with Age is just a number. I enjoy both old and young. Most don't know this about me. There are more that I would like to try but am afraid I would be thought of as weird.
Da**** Posted July 8, 2022 Posted July 8, 2022 11 minutes ago, Bmydicklicker said: The older I get the hornier I get. I haven't been able enjoy it though with Age is just a number. I enjoy both old and young. Most don't know this about me. There are more that I would like to try but am afraid I would be thought of as weird. You are in the Kink community Society at large already thinks you're weird might as well enjoy it all.... lol
na**** Posted July 9, 2022 Posted July 9, 2022 No problems with age gaps but people under 25 with zero BDSM experience should be considered *** and only handled by experienced individuals who genuinely show they care for them.
ey**** Posted July 9, 2022 Posted July 9, 2022 I think the older I get the wider a tolerable age gap would be, for me. I've done some play with folk 14-15 years younger and about the same older - and I think going older is fine, but I'm finding folk younger than mid 20s a bit... young. But that's OK I suspect when I'm 60 I would still be fine with someone mid 20s
OT**** Posted July 9, 2022 Author Posted July 9, 2022 50 minutes ago, narxem said: No problems with age gaps but people under 25 with zero BDSM experience should be considered *** and only handled by experienced individuals who genuinely show they care for them. 100% agree. So many new members to our community have bad experiences. Wannabes with little experience tarnishing their first steps into the world of kink.
OT**** Posted July 9, 2022 Author Posted July 9, 2022 Can I just thank every single one of you guys for your great input 🖤
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2022 Posted July 9, 2022 56 minutes ago, narxem said: No problems with age gaps but people under 25 with zero BDSM experience should be considered *** and only handled by experienced individuals who genuinely show they care for them. Yes!!! All day long. Thank you. This is what I am getting at.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2022 Posted July 9, 2022 1 hour ago, narxem said: No problems with age gaps but people under 25 with zero BDSM experience should be considered *** and only handled by experienced individuals who genuinely show they care for them. Why 25? What if someone is 25.5 or 26? What's the difference? Everyone is different and I think there is no one size fits all.
st**** Posted July 9, 2022 Posted July 9, 2022 1 hour ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said: Why 25? What if someone is 25.5 or 26? What's the difference? Everyone is different and I think there is no one size fits all. Because there has to be a cut off point and yes it may be arbitrary but it is necessary, if you don't set an age where extra caution is needed then people will keep pushing the envelope. We must be seen to act responsibly.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2022 Posted July 9, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, steadfast said: Because there has to be a cut off point and yes it may be arbitrary but it is necessary, if you don't set an age where extra caution is needed then people will keep pushing the envelope. We must be seen to act responsibly. Are we comparing this to driving licenses, smoking, or purchasing alcohol? This is something that can't be legislated in anyway. Whatever we believe, it's just a notion and nothing more. This already falls under the stipulated age parameters in the law for sexual activity when you think about it, so the age application is already there. Edited July 9, 2022 by Deleted Member
ey**** Posted July 9, 2022 Posted July 9, 2022 I think while there are laws in terms of age of consent - there are also clear creepy behaviours if an experienced 40-50 year old (or more) deliberately seeks out someone who is 18/19 and new to kink with a view to "show them what it's all about" while also potentially trying to isolate them from other ideas this is predatory behaviour a lot of people who are otherwise experienced are aware this can happen and is why a lot of community events are designed often with newbies in mind - that it is a wisdom-of-the-crowd (which will include a lot of different opinions) rather than trying to isolate someone. There's stuff that really is a case-by-case basis but if someone is young AND new to BDSM - then is a 40-50-more man really the best person to "show them the way"
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2022 Posted July 9, 2022 4 hours ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said: Why 25? What if someone is 25.5 or 26? What's the difference? Everyone is different and I think there is no one size fits all. Broadly speaking the human brain develops fully at 25. Although there is still debate in the scientific community and obviously its not a catch all, but as a general rule ...
st**** Posted July 9, 2022 Posted July 9, 2022 1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said: I think while there are laws in terms of age of consent - there are also clear creepy behaviours if an experienced 40-50 year old (or more) deliberately seeks out someone who is 18/19 and new to kink with a view to "show them what it's all about" while also potentially trying to isolate them from other ideas this is predatory behaviour a lot of people who are otherwise experienced are aware this can happen and is why a lot of community events are designed often with newbies in mind - that it is a wisdom-of-the-crowd (which will include a lot of different opinions) rather than trying to isolate someone. There's stuff that really is a case-by-case basis but if someone is young AND new to BDSM - then is a 40-50-more man really the best person to "show them the way" Yes an older man is often the very best person to teach them what it is all about. If you were learning to drive would you want an instructor with 30 years experience or someone who had only just learned themselves?
ey**** Posted July 9, 2022 Posted July 9, 2022 1 hour ago, steadfast said: Yes an older man is often the very best person to teach them what it is all about. If you were learning to drive would you want an instructor with 30 years experience or someone who had only just learned themselves? just to think about this carefully are you saying that a man old enough to be someone's father or grandfather, seeking out a barely legal woman to then move her away from any form of community or website to "teach" them about kink - is not in any way predatory?
st**** Posted July 9, 2022 Posted July 9, 2022 No that is not what I said at all as you well know. But older men are no more predatory than young men and in my opinion are more likely to treat a young sub better than a young man who is probably only interested in getting his rocks off.
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