Guys, It’s ok to be angry. Just put it where it belongs

[Ar****]

2 minutes ago, Lockfairy said:

Cheesecake too?!

@Aranhis, I want you to know I’ve always had a great deal of affection for you 😘😂

Our likes are rationed? That’s terrible! I bet @CopperKnob has hoarded loads from people today!

New York vanilla...

The feeling is mutual 🥰😂 (shit, there I go with that BLATANT ass-kissing you ladies can't see through again 🤦‍♂️... I wonder if it would get called the same if these chaps could see the similar compliments and respect I've shared in my DMs with male members from our community? 🤔)

I'm currently upgraded too so it really threw me, I'll just have to comment my reactions instead 🤣

[Lo****]

1 minute ago, Aranhis said:

New York vanilla...

The feeling is mutual 🥰😂 (shit, there I go with that BLATANT ass-kissing you ladies can't see through again 🤦‍♂️... I wonder if it would get called the same if these chaps could see the similar compliments and respect I've shared in my DMs with male members from our community? 🤔)

I'm currently upgraded too so it really threw me, I'll just have to comment my reactions instead 🤣

Surely ass-kissing on a kink site is perfectly acceptable? Especially if there’s ice cream involved!

[CopperKnob]

29 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

Do you know what, you tell somebody ONCE that your blackcurrant cheesecake (and lemon??) ice cream was less than satisfactory because it had no actual fruits in and the blackcurrant sauce was a bit on the sickly side and you're forever haunted by the stigma that you have "terrible ice cream". It's no wonder us guys don't open up to you women when this is how you treat us.

And now I truly understand why you started putting "satire" at the end your posts. Sigh.

Anyway, I am always glad to share, I don't mind ploughing through a 500ml tub on my own but I'd prefer not to. The current available selection chez moi is cookie dough (two tubs, obviously), chocolate fudge brownie, Oreo, and Cadbury's Flake. Oh and Vienetta and various Magnum-eque choc ices, but I don't count those.

Now you're just teasing!!

[CopperKnob]

8 minutes ago, DEUK said:

How do I get some of this ice cream. I‘m just gonna go right ahead and invite myself to this situation 😂

Ask Aranhis, he's got the goods and he's willing to share

[CopperKnob]

6 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

New York vanilla...

The feeling is mutual 🥰😂 (shit, there I go with that BLATANT ass-kissing you ladies can't see through again 🤦‍♂️... I wonder if it would get called the same if these chaps could see the similar compliments and respect I've shared in my DMs with male members from our community? 🤔)

I'm currently upgraded too so it really threw me, I'll just have to comment my reactions instead 🤣

I wonder about the response this post would have received had it have been posted by a man

[Ar****]

1 minute ago, Lockfairy said:

Surely ass-kissing on a kink site is perfectly acceptable? Especially if there’s ice cream involved!

I expect so. I can't say that food play is something I've ever tried or grabbed my interest much, but I rarely say never 😂

[ge****]

27 minutes ago, BadBoy-94 said:

You do you, bro. I don't wanna waste my time on you either, so I will make it short.

"Be angry at the men who made literally every space unsafe". Isn't she literally saying that wherever there are men, there is danger? That's all someone like me is seeing right here, among others. Now I have to ask yet again.. why the uncalled for ***-mongering? 

"You are part of the problem".... So me excusing myself and politely asking to overtake two landwhales who were blocking the corridor to the point that they were slowing down everyone behind them makes me a problem? And on top of it being called a creep just because I couldn't walk behind them all the way down the corridor? I think you need to get your balls reattached. It's men like you who allow this poor behavior to continue that are the problem along with OP. Women should have equal rights, not special rights just because they're women. Look at all this preferential hiring that goes on in our Fortune 500 companies, as an example.

"women who seem guarded" is just a euphemism for "don't be angry about women who initially think that you might be a sexual predator, it's just bad previous experiences that have made her like that". I am not the only one who is seeing right though her OP. 

 

I'm quite happy doing me for sure and enjoy my experience here so have absolutely no complaints.
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No that's not what she is literally saying - she is saying that women have to be on their guard wherever they go because there is the potential for danger because of the actions of *some* men - stepping into a crowded lift for example there "might" be a guy there who presses himself up against her, or makes her feel uncomfortable in some way, shopping for lingerie the guy who creeps round the department ogling what women are buying and getting off on it - literally everywhere is the potential for women to be made uncomfortable or feel threatened in some way, and in ways that men don't - it doesn't mean that just because they are in that space they *are* in danger of that happening, the guy in the lift *may* have been nudged from behind by someone trying to get out and inadvertently pressed against her, the guy in the lingerie department *may* be waiting for his wife who is trying something on and just feels awkward standing in that space - but there have been enough instances where the opposite has happened that women are on their guard pretty much all the time - not because of *all* men, but because of a significant enough amount of *some* men that do have malintent.
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with you excusing yourself to politely ask to overtake two ladies in the slightest and if they called you a creep because you did, and did so politely then that's wrong - what makes you part of the problem though is your use of the term "land whales" to describe them - regardless of how they treated you it's an absolutely awful body shaming term and that is why people called you out on it.
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My balls are very nicely attached thank you very much, in fact right now they're snuggled nicely beneath the cock cage I am wearing beneath my sheer peach thong, not because I am a poor emasculated male who has been driven to it by women, but because that's what I chose to do for myself this morning.
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No one is saying women should have special rights, just equal rights, but to reach equal rights there's work to be done to get them there - and that is part of what the OP was about - removing the toxic behaviour of *some* men, again a significant enough number to make it relevant, who are abusive towards women in various ways - that is ALL the OP is about plain and simple.
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You say you're not the only one who is seeing through the OP and you'd be right, but it doesn't mean you are correct in what you are seeing either - in fact weight of opinion on this thread is against you - but I guess you'll dismiss that as the clique at work.
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Suggest agreeing to disagree is probably the best way here as I don't see the point in continual circular discussion.

[ey****]

this has been a ride

when I was younger I was all noooo... there's so many men... why would anyone pick me?

and then I realised that was a form of self-negging and I'm better than that.

But; yep - when you realise the amount of shite that lands inboxes this tells you to kinda, well, do better.   And yeah, I know, it sucks, you can write a beautiful message and not get a response.  Just wait til you send a CV in for a job and get turned down even though you thought you were good enough.  Might have helped if the CV wasn't written in crayon, mind.

And if you do get talking then - look - I know you want to get things moving but patience is such an important tool.

The thing is; that why again, is it guys who arguing about this - why is it always the people not getting the results they want and not those who have good meet/play/relationship/etc success.  

[Deleted Member]

8 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

this has been a ride

when I was younger I was all noooo... there's so many men... why would anyone pick me?

and then I realised that was a form of self-negging and I'm better than that.

But; yep - when you realise the amount of shite that lands inboxes this tells you to kinda, well, do better.   And yeah, I know, it sucks, you can write a beautiful message and not get a response.  Just wait til you send a CV in for a job and get turned down even though you thought you were good enough.  Might have helped if the CV wasn't written in crayon, mind.

And if you do get talking then - look - I know you want to get things moving but patience is such an important tool.

The thing is; that why again, is it guys who arguing about this - why is it always the people not getting the results they want and not those who have good meet/play/relationship/etc success.  

@eyemblacksheep „…why again, is it guys who arguing about this…“
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Hadn‘t even considered that this whole thread has involved women from the start explaining why there is a problem and how to overcome it 😂.
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We’re being offered a guided tour to the middle by the labyrinth by the architect and people are still at the entrance going „these hedges are too high! There’s too many corners! This is ridiculous“ 😂😂😂.

[Deleted Member]

16 minutes ago, DEUK said:

@eyemblacksheep „…why again, is it guys who arguing about this…“
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Hadn‘t even considered that this whole thread has involved women from the start explaining why there is a problem and how to overcome it 😂.
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We’re being offered a guided tour to the middle by the labyrinth by the architect and people are still at the entrance going „these hedges are too high! There’s too many corners! This is ridiculous“ 😂😂😂.
 

Some of us prefer not to grovel. 

[Deleted Member]

Yeah, I’ve never had that issue 😅

[FETMOD-KF]

just a brief note

obviously disagreements are natural and understandable

but - personal attacks, insults, including victim-blaming suggestions and word-play based on people's usernames so on - there's no place for that here.  

I'm not going to edit or remove posts that have been made already (and action has been taken where appropriate) but - no more.  Keep disagreements civil, please.

[ey****]

3 hours ago, DEUK said:

Hadn‘t even considered that this whole thread has involved women from the start explaining why there is a problem and how to overcome it 😂.

 

it just feels a classic.

"So guys - this is some of the reasons why women aren't going to reply your hey message, or 'get to know you' or meet you within 3 messages" - and guys are like "no it isn't"

lolwot.

Like, imagine if a guy did a thread which was like "It's hard as a man to talk about mental health without being seeing as weak - even a leading newspaper said talking about MH was 'woke' (and that woke is somehow bad) recently" and the thread got a replies with a bunch of women going "It isn't hard at all" and "just man up" - there would (rightfully) be hell on. 

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

it just feels a classic.

"So guys - this is some of the reasons why women aren't going to reply your hey message, or 'get to know you' or meet you within 3 messages" - and guys are like "no it isn't"

lolwot.

Like, imagine if a guy did a thread which was like "It's hard as a man to talk about mental health without being seeing as weak - even a leading newspaper said talking about MH was 'woke' (and that woke is somehow bad) recently" and the thread got a replies with a bunch of women going "It isn't hard at all" and "just man up" - there would (rightfully) be hell on. 

Exactly this. 😂. It’s the epitome of the stick in the spoke meme.

[ey****]

2 hours ago, sigbro said:

Some of us prefer not to grovel. 

I've never grovelled and never will.  Equally, a lot of women (certainly most I've seen comments from) find the whole grovelly guy to be off-putting also 

My kinda place is - like - in my own way I want to help folk and me going "there there guys, women are so shallow and it's so hard for you nice guys" or whatever is comforting but not helpful.  It doesn't get any further out of the rut.

I don't want to be an arsehole under the pretence of "tough love" either.

But - when you understand the problems women get from some guys, it doesn't matter if it is 1, 10, or 100 - but when you understand this, you can learn how to set out from these.

When you can learn to tell the difference between masculinity (a good thing) and toxic masculinity (which is not) you can learn how to keep masculinity while also shedding negative or outdated ideas - or entitlement.

When you also accept that you can put effort into this and still get it wrong sometimes, and still not get the results you want, but can learn from it - grow from it and keep going.

I am not conventionally good looking. I am not particularly wealthy. I'm 40, balding, and have a 'Dad bod' (which is a polite way of saying 'bit of a belly') but, I dunno.  I certainly do not get all the results I want, but I certainly do OK.   And I want other people to at least be able to do OK, y'know.

 

[Deleted Member]

43 minutes ago, FETMOD-KF said:

I'm not going to edit or remove posts that have been made already (and action has been taken where appropriate) but - no more.  Keep disagreements civil, please.

Think it's ok and interest dying down now anyway. Has been almost 24 hours, and the new daily thread post on the topic is due. See all there... peace and love/not all men are evil/men can be nice/be kind to us men.

[Wi****]

Be kind to everyone 

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Willow75 said:

Be kind to everyone 

Of course 100% agree. However everyone is not the target/subject matter or focus of the ongoing agenda programme. If one thing if anything is clear, it is the goalposts are not getting moved and it's a firmly established gender specific focused project.

[ey****]

sigh

if you are not the person sending those messages or doing those things you are not the target.  

[ca****]

Love a good thread that has lots of too's and fro's lots of comebacks.... actually read a few of them....

 

....  imagine my surprise when i realise it is alll about cake!

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I've never grovelled and never will.  Equally, a lot of women (certainly most I've seen comments from) find the whole grovelly guy to be off-putting also 

My kinda place is - like - in my own way I want to help folk and me going "there there guys, women are so shallow and it's so hard for you nice guys" or whatever is comforting but not helpful.  It doesn't get any further out of the rut.

I don't want to be an arsehole under the pretence of "tough love" either.

But - when you understand the problems women get from some guys, it doesn't matter if it is 1, 10, or 100 - but when you understand this, you can learn how to set out from these.

When you can learn to tell the difference between masculinity (a good thing) and toxic masculinity (which is not) you can learn how to keep masculinity while also shedding negative or outdated ideas - or entitlement.

When you also accept that you can put effort into this and still get it wrong sometimes, and still not get the results you want, but can learn from it - grow from it and keep going.

I am not conventionally good looking. I am not particularly wealthy. I'm 40, balding, and have a 'Dad bod' (which is a polite way of saying 'bit of a belly') but, I dunno.  I certainly do not get all the results I want, but I certainly do OK.   And I want other people to at least be able to do OK, y'know.

 

While I appreciate your desire to create success I reject the premise of the OP or the proposed solution. Ultimately women can alter their behavior as well or face their own consequences associated with it. It's great if I find someone here but there are many other opportunities that exist. Some of us are reasonably good prospects regardless of the current perception.

 

[ge****]

15 minutes ago, sigbro said:

While I appreciate your desire to create success I reject the premise of the OP or the proposed solution. Ultimately women can alter their behavior as well or face their own consequences associated with it. It's great if I find someone here but there are many other opportunities that exist. Some of us are reasonably good prospects regardless of the current perception.

 

OK let's turn this around a little shall we - how do you suggest women should be have to protect themselves from the very real, and daily occurring potential for abusive messages, messages that detail what is going to be "done to them", protect themselves from the myriad of situations where they're made to feel uncomfortable by *some* men (and a large enough proportion to make it significant).
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How do you propose they avoid having to walk back to their car with their car keys between their fingers just in case those footsteps behind them belong to a potential attacker and not someone out walking their dog?
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How do you propose they should behave in order not to have the creep in the office, or on public transport leering down their top?
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All of those are very real and regular situations that happen often and are part of the reason why women do seek to protect themselves, and posts like the OP do happen.
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I'm not seeking to be provocative here or shoot you down, I'm genuinely interested in your solution as to how women can help themselves avoid those situations.
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And remember when answering we're talking about the "potential" for those things to happen - no-one is saying they will happen every time or by *all* men - but women have no way or knowing which men are likely to be the wrong sort, so until a level of trust has been built they have no choice but to see the "potential" for harm or feeling uncomfortable and it *is* undeniably because of the actions of a significant number of *some* men that they feel that way, which was the point of the OP in the first place.
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So how would you bring about a world where no-one regardless of gender has to feel the way most women do on a daily basis to a greater or lesser degree?

[Vi****]

So I read until about page 7 and couldn't stomach anymore of the toxicity. All I'll say is once again a thought provoking post Copper, well done. It shows people's true colours for all to see. 

[CopperKnob]

59 minutes ago, callipygian said:

Love a good thread that has lots of too's and fro's lots of comebacks.... actually read a few of them....

 

....  imagine my surprise when i realise it is alll about cake!

It's only ever about cake.
Or icecream
Or icecream and cake
What can I say 🤷‍♀️

[CopperKnob]

@shirt-n-tie-boy
"However everyone is not the target/subject matter"
By jove, I think you've got it!
@sigbro
"Ultimately women can alter their behaviour"
We already do, that's half the point of the post