Guys, It’s ok to be angry. Just put it where it belongs

[Ar****]

Just now, Lockfairy said:

Platonic squishing with pudding eating is right up my street 😂 It’ll feel like girl guide camp. With boys. 

Mine too! I did attend Brownie camps as a child, but again that is another story for another time 😂

[Th****]

I see as most topics, its decended into the love of a sweet tooth....lol

But it dose seem to be a one way street of genuine guys having to run the proverbial gauntlet, and make reparation for the knuckle daggers.
As for *** culture in BDSM, I have lost track on how many times I have to say the same thing over and over again.
Be smart, research the person you are interested in
Ask question
Have fun, if it ain't fun dont do it
If it dosnt sound right, it generally isn't

It's up to you guys n gals to do the research, but it never happends, every book on BDSM and Kink all tell you to do your research on the people you are evaluating.

Lack of knowledge = unsuccessful, and potentially damaging relationships.

It not for the guys to have to jump through hoops to gain trust, it's all about the research.

[ey****]

I feel this may be a little bit of a contradiction

17 minutes ago, TheBodyguard said:

It not for the guys to have to jump through hoops to gain trust, it's all about the research.

Because how does someone research another person?

I mean, sure if they're known or can be vouched for that can help - but then there are plenty of people who could be vouched for but of course those who would give a bad reference were already gone from the scene

what if they were new? unknown? not in the kink community?

might research then be through things like...  I dunno... evaluating their approach in messages? Seeing their interactions and responses? Ability to hold a conversation? Whether they get impatient if they don't get what they want quickly?

Or even - of course - what their prefered approach to kink and BDSM is : because every Dominant is not compatible with every submissive even if both are really good people - and is having these discussions not part of the research?  Or is it asking people to jump through hoops?

[CopperKnob]

33 minutes ago, TheBodyguard said:

I see as most topics, its decended into the love of a sweet tooth....lol

But it dose seem to be a one way street of genuine guys having to run the proverbial gauntlet, and make reparation for the knuckle daggers.
As for *** culture in BDSM, I have lost track on how many times I have to say the same thing over and over again.
Be smart, research the person you are interested in
Ask question
Have fun, if it ain't fun dont do it
If it dosnt sound right, it generally isn't

It's up to you guys n gals to do the research, but it never happends, every book on BDSM and Kink all tell you to do your research on the people you are evaluating.

Lack of knowledge = unsuccessful, and potentially damaging relationships.

It not for the guys to have to jump through hoops to gain trust, it's all about the research.

Did you ask yourself why genuine guys have to run the gauntlet, make reparation for the knuckle daggers or jump through hoops? That's kinda the point of the post.
*** culture doesn't simply exist within BDSM. It's everywhere. It doesn't matter how much research is done, not only because of the points Eyem raises but because many of the causes for women being untrusting are particularly very good at putting on a show until they don't.

[ey****]

there's stuff also I'm not sure if is better for it's own spin off thread. But.

Vetting *should* be a two way thing.

This is a thing a lot of folk miss.

Let us say we have a guy comes on - he has messaged someone; she seemed to be able to offer him what he wanted.... and, she scammed him.

This is through poor vetting.  But we would never say to him that his vetting was poor, or imply he deserved to be scammed.   But he didn't vet sufficiently.  
Of course, I have said before and will say again if you ***tergun message people then the scammers will definitely reply - so the people who get more scammers in their inbox is usually down to their own poor approach.  But this still doesn't mean they deserve to be scammed.

And it's still not the worst that can happen to a guy.

it's not that I think women vet too much. I think that guys don't vet enough.

 

 

[Go****]

1 hour ago, TheBodyguard said:

As for *** culture in BDSM, I have lost track on how many times I have to say the same thing over and over again.
Be smart, research the person you are interested in
Ask question
Have fun, if it ain't fun dont do it
If it dosnt sound right, it generally isn't

It's up to you guys n gals to do the research,

So is this your solution to the issue of *** culture within BDSM ? (which I may add is not solely a BDSM issue)

Because I can tell you, when I was attacked, as I stated further up in this thread, I did research. I did ask questions, the right ones. I waited, didn't rush. I met publicly. None of those things helped weed out a guy that has the mindset that no doesn't mean no.

Or how about, for example, my last relationship. I had done all of those things. That didn't stop him becoming an ***r. A rapist. 

So whilst I'm not going to label every single man an ***r; a rapist; a dangerous man, until we can say that every man knows and understands about *** culture, until they are willing to call out those that participate in it, and until those that say 'I am a victim of ***' or 'I'm a survivor of ***' can do so without *** of being torn down, ridiculed, alienated and shamed, I WILL put up walls and defences that help me to feel safe.

[Lo****]

2 hours ago, TheBodyguard said:

I see as most topics, its decended into the love of a sweet tooth....lol

But it dose seem to be a one way street of genuine guys having to run the proverbial gauntlet, and make reparation for the knuckle daggers.
As for *** culture in BDSM, I have lost track on how many times I have to say the same thing over and over again.
Be smart, research the person you are interested in
Ask question
Have fun, if it ain't fun dont do it
If it dosnt sound right, it generally isn't

It's up to you guys n gals to do the research, but it never happends, every book on BDSM and Kink all tell you to do your research on the people you are evaluating.

Lack of knowledge = unsuccessful, and potentially damaging relationships.

It not for the guys to have to jump through hoops to gain trust, it's all about the research.

a. I think only two topics have ‘descended’ into talk of sweet stuff. Partly I think this is a reaction to the intensity and toxicity of some of the responses.

b. It’s not a one way street. There are genuine men and genuine women and they do what they need to to find each other. Women are simply asking for men to be aware of why they tend to be cautious.

c. ‘Research never happens.’ Gross generalisation. Many of us do lots of research. However, you can’t research individual people if they’re lying to you.

d. Nobody is asking the guys to jump through hoops. People just need to be reasonable and not be 🍆s and they’ll be fine. 

Coming in at the end of many hours of debate and trying to simplify it all into a few trite, generalising sentences doesn’t work out for anyone. 

[Sa****]

4 hours ago, TheBodyguard said:

I see as most topics, its decended into the love of a sweet tooth....lol

But it dose seem to be a one way street of genuine guys having to run the proverbial gauntlet, and make reparation for the knuckle daggers.
As for *** culture in BDSM, I have lost track on how many times I have to say the same thing over and over again.
Be smart, research the person you are interested in
Ask question
Have fun, if it ain't fun dont do it
If it dosnt sound right, it generally isn't

It's up to you guys n gals to do the research, but it never happends, every book on BDSM and Kink all tell you to do your research on the people you are evaluating.

Lack of knowledge = unsuccessful, and potentially damaging relationships.

It not for the guys to have to jump through hoops to gain trust, it's all about the research.

I agree that we have to do as much research that we can, but if you look at most serial rap*st and serial killers they act and look “ normal “ for a better part of a word. Most killers and rap*st are people you know and trust. What I would like you to understand is that we/us that have been through trauma also jump through hoops, it just the Battle within us. We come up with extra measures to keep us safe, we wait longer before we jump in. We test the people we want to be with, cause if they can make it to the end they must care for us. Some times we don’t even realize we do it. Ask Thebian I think I listed everyone of my bad attributes to him.. lol I don’t blame Everyman for my trauma but unfortunately if someone wants to be with me they have to deal with my triggers due to someone else. Same with men they have baggage also and we have to jump though hoops also. All we are asking is to hold your fellow men accountable. If you see bad behavior report it and just understand if someone is standoffish doesn’t mean we don’t like you but we are learning about y’all’s behavior from a distance and in some cases we are just scared. We will also hold our fellow woman accountable also. I thing I want to also address is I have seen ppl ask past subs for a reference and when they give a negative to them the Dom is so convincing that they are just mad cause he broke up with her and she is just jealous. The only way to fix this is together Woman and there male allies to push the bad ones out. This includes everyone I just use the man/ woman cause it’s what I have dealt with. I don’t know if anything I write even makes sense 🤷‍♀️

[Chloebear]

It is for the guys, and Doms, and subs actually, to jump through hoops to gain trust though… if that’s what it takes with your partner, and that’s a result of trauma. If that’s not your bag, so be it. But those that do put in the time for their subs to work through this will have the reward of trust, the foundation of a meaningful dynamic.

So many female presenting people have encountered ***, it’s unimaginable unless you’ve walked that path. It’s not just about our research, it’s about being forthcoming and open, gentle and patient, reassuring and nurturing. It’s about all the things I’d be looking for in a good Dom anyway honestly… so if someone cannot put reciprocal effort in to the effort it takes us to keep engaging, they will not be worth our time. The men and partners that will put the groundwork in to make us feel safe are out there.

[Th****]

14 hours ago, Chloebear said:

It is for the guys, and Doms, and subs actually, to jump through hoops to gain trust though… if that’s what it takes with your partner, and that’s a result of trauma. If that’s not your bag, so be it. But those that do put in the time for their subs to work through this will have the reward of trust, the foundation of a meaningful dynamic.

So many female presenting people have encountered ***, it’s unimaginable unless you’ve walked that path. It’s not just about our research, it’s about being forthcoming and open, gentle and patient, reassuring and nurturing. It’s about all the things I’d be looking for in a good Dom anyway honestly… so if someone cannot put reciprocal effort in to the effort it takes us to keep engaging, they will not be worth our time. The men and partners that will put the groundwork in to make us feel safe are out there.

This is why I said it's not a one way street, where it's only the males that have to prove themselves, we all have to, and we should be researching the person we are thinking about entering into a relationship with.
I'm not insensitive to people that may or have been ***d, but I do see many of the same mistakes taken over and over again, with little learnt from past experiences.
Having worked in an industry where I have looked after *** victims both male and female, countered the dangerous nature of stalkers, and been injured by them as a result of protecting others.

Not all the guys out there are sexual predators, and shouldn't be treated like one when they approach another person they are interested in. But this culture of blame should be replaced with the culture of doing the leg work to research the people we are intrested in. It easy to blame one gender of the population as a groupe, without the knowledge of the people in that group, it's far harder to do that if you really looked at someone within the group.

The genuine guys out there are appalled at the same things you are, dont blanket blame them as all bad.

[ey****]

I still feel this is contradictory.

- Don't treat every new person as a predator

ok

- Do your research cos if they are a predator then you didn't do enough research

so which is it? 

[Lo****]

12 minutes ago, TheBodyguard said:

This is why I said it's not a one way street, where it's only the males that have to prove themselves, we all have to, and we should be researching the person we are thinking about entering into a relationship with.
I'm not insensitive to people that may or have been ***d, but I do see many of the same mistakes taken over and over again, with little learnt from past experiences.
Having worked in an industry where I have looked after *** victims both male and female, countered the dangerous nature of stalkers, and been injured by them as a result of protecting others.

Not all the guys out there are sexual predators, and shouldn't be treated like one when they approach another person they are interested in. But this culture of blame should be replaced with the culture of doing the leg work to research the people we are intrested in. It easy to blame one gender of the population as a groupe, without the knowledge of the people in that group, it's far harder to do that if you really looked at someone within the group.

The genuine guys out there are appalled at the same things you are, dont blanket blame them as all bad.

Nobody is a blanket blaming all men as bad! Nobody is saying all the guys are sexual predators, but women would be idiots if they didn’t exercise caution with every new man until they knew they could just him.

[Lo****]

*trust!

[CopperKnob]

29 minutes ago, TheBodyguard said:

This is why I said it's not a one way street, where it's only the males that have to prove themselves, we all have to, and we should be researching the person we are thinking about entering into a relationship with.
I'm not insensitive to people that may or have been ***d, but I do see many of the same mistakes taken over and over again, with little learnt from past experiences.
Having worked in an industry where I have looked after *** victims both male and female, countered the dangerous nature of stalkers, and been injured by them as a result of protecting others.

Not all the guys out there are sexual predators, and shouldn't be treated like one when they approach another person they are interested in. But this culture of blame should be replaced with the culture of doing the leg work to research the people we are intrested in. It easy to blame one gender of the population as a groupe, without the knowledge of the people in that group, it's far harder to do that if you really looked at someone within the group.

The genuine guys out there are appalled at the same things you are, dont blanket blame them as all bad.

I feel that this has again become a circular conversation and I don't know how it could be had so that it was any clearer.
Having worked with individuals who have been subject to various ***s, do you see in them that their behaviour changes when it comes to starting new relationships of any type because, not only do I see it, I hear it when they tell me, I feel it because like many I've experienced it.
It takes time to trust anyone

[Th****]

31 minutes ago, Lockfairy said:

Nobody is a blanket blaming all men as bad! Nobody is saying all the guys are sexual predators, but women would be idiots if they didn’t exercise caution with every new man until they knew they could just him.

Yes there is a blanket blaming culture, why should only the males on the site have to continually prove there not sexual predators, that's completely unfair, and I do understand why some get annoyed at this.

It is wrong to label someone without the knowledge of, or even getting to know that person. This is a form of discrimination and should not be tolerated anywhere.

We all come to these sites to seek friends, and possibly relationships. We all post the pictures and produce a description of ourselves we feel will generate the drive for others to contact us. Unfortunately there are the proverbial dicks out there, but that's life, and we just have to filter them out, but it's a complete waste if you came here to complain and victimised all males as sexual preadtors, were not, and it's very frustrating as this happens more and more, and the culture of this type of behaviour is supported.

[Lo****]

Just now, TheBodyguard said:

Yes there is a blanket blaming culture, why should only the males on the site have to continually prove there not sexual predators, that's completely unfair, and I do understand why some get annoyed at this.

It is wrong to label someone without the knowledge of, or even getting to know that person. This is a form of discrimination and should not be tolerated anywhere.

We all come to these sites to seek friends, and possibly relationships. We all post the pictures and produce a description of ourselves we feel will generate the drive for others to contact us. Unfortunately there are the proverbial dicks out there, but that's life, and we just have to filter them out, but it's a complete waste if you came here to complain and victimised all males as sexual preadtors, were not, and it's very frustrating as this happens more and more, and the culture of this type of behaviour is supported.

 

Like many other people in this conversation, you’re not listening. I can’t be bothered to keep patiently trying to explain the facts any more to people who are blinkered to any point of view but their own.

[ey****]

I don't feel blanket blamed.  

But equally, again, that men do not do enough vetting of prospective female partners - this is on them.   

And some men DO push women to "prove" - there are women who have spoken before about men being asked them do ridiculous poses or whatever to prove they're real - and men who admit they always ask for this

 

[ey****]

there is also patterned behaviour - I had a longer post on this which I pulled (which was a shame) but to try to summarise it.

There was a lady who worked professionally who did a 2 year experiment of replying to almost every message she got.  The only messages that did not get at least an initial response were those that were violent, crude or completely off topic.

Heys, and Hi Sexy, and How Are You, and all that got a reply

Obviously as a pro, her metric was "how many ended in a booked session" 

She categorised messages into 3 groups.   The basic ("Hey", "How R You?", etc) the moderate (Some details but not everything really needed) and the good (sufficient intro and communication)

of the basic - she get these most and only 7% resulted in a booking.  They also, on average, took far more message exchanges before one of them ended the conversation (which from her perspective could be turns violent or worried about her safety - or it be apparent this wasn't going to result in a booking or wasn't going to be what they both wanted) or it ended in a booking.   

The good was closer to 90% ended in a booking, with few messages needed before a booking or conversation ends.

Add into this - there were no boundary pushers or people she got worried about safety from the 'good' category.  A few in the moderate, and the vast majority in the basic.

So. What she got from this and shared from this is that

in her experience, replying to messages that were basic, or she was unsure about - that didn't at least pass basic vetting - were not worth replying to.    That the person on the other end MIGHT be wonderful and MIGHT become a wonderful regular client, hell, even romance.   But, her experience was that this would not be the case and that the guys within this who were wonderful were not worth dealing with all the shite to get there.  

Is this discrimination?  Nope. Absolutely not. This is people who have failed to meet a minimum standard in messaging her and so her experience tells her this is unlikely to be worthwhile and/or more likely to turn nasty or boundary push.

No one automatically needs a chance, to be spoken to, to waste time out of someone's day "getting to know" when there's already enough to say "I am not interested" and anyone arguing against this is kinda proving they were right NOT to engage with them - because this is behaviour that fails basic vetting. 

[Wo****]

7 minutes ago, TheBodyguard said:

Yes there is a blanket blaming culture, why should only the males on the site have to continually prove there not sexual predators, that's completely unfair, and I do understand why some get annoyed at this.

It is wrong to label someone without the knowledge of, or even getting to know that person. This is a form of discrimination and should not be tolerated anywhere.

We all come to these sites to seek friends, and possibly relationships. We all post the pictures and produce a description of ourselves we feel will generate the drive for others to contact us. Unfortunately there are the proverbial dicks out there, but that's life, and we just have to filter them out, but it's a complete waste if you came here to complain and victimised all males as sexual preadtors, were not, and it's very frustrating as this happens more and more, and the culture of this type of behaviour is supported.

 

You only have to read the news to see why women may be wary.... police officers accused of, and convicted, of serious sexual offences and ***.

 

"Complain and victimise all males as sexual predators" no-one is doing that. Even if they were it shows that there is cause to.

I was a greeter and mid on here for a while and around 65pc of my messages were at best crass and at the worst threatening/suggesting r*** and beastiality.

 

Surviving *** makes one cautious and untrusting.

 

This thread isn't blanket blaming. Nowhere does it say "all men" or "men" it says "SOME men"

SOME men ARE sexual predators, and let's face it, that type of man will be on here.

 

There are a plethora of threads about "fake women" and scammers on here. I don't see you commenting on blanket blaming on those.

[PJ****]

36 minutes ago, TheBodyguard said:

Yes there is a blanket blaming culture, why should only the males on the site have to continually prove there not sexual predators, that's completely unfair, and I do understand why some get annoyed at this.

It is wrong to label someone without the knowledge of, or even getting to know that person. This is a form of discrimination and should not be tolerated anywhere.

We all come to these sites to seek friends, and possibly relationships. We all post the pictures and produce a description of ourselves we feel will generate the drive for others to contact us. Unfortunately there are the proverbial dicks out there, but that's life, and we just have to filter them out, but it's a complete waste if you came here to complain and victimised all males as sexual preadtors, were not, and it's very frustrating as this happens more and more, and the culture of this type of behaviour is supported.

Aaah jeez, I think you need to re-read the OP and understand it properly.. The sad fact is that a very high percentile of sexual predators, creepy ass stalkers, unsolicited nude photo senders and grotesque/disrespectful opening message senders are men... I'd estimate it's in the 90% or more range.


I have literally never had any of the above problems in all my time in online interactions with women.. not once (I dont count abusive messages from scammers when they get rumbled). In fact the only abusive message I've received here ever was from a man!! 😂😂


I have never felt physically threatened by a women online or in real life for that matter, even when I've had ex girlfriends be abusive - I never felt in danger...


That is in stark contrast to most women who literally all have online and real life dating horror stories.


It's easy to filter out the dicks if you hardly have to ever deal with them.. and also dont have much concern about running into them in your day to day... a lot of men are waaaaay more creepy and stalkery then women 😂


The OP is about educating people on what a lot of women feel like they have to go through in order to keep themselves safe.. the barriers they put up to stop the weirdos getting through because I'm sure any women will tell you (not just in the kink community) - dealing with the dickheads is tiring and draining and sometimes sickening and scary!

It's not right, not in any sense, it makes everyone's life harder, but that's what a lot of people feel they have to do.

If we work together as a community to stamp out the shitty behaviour then everything gets better for everyone.. but to do that you need to look at the other side and have some empathy and understanding.. and be prepared to stand up and call out obnoxious shitty behaviour whenever you see it. And not just towards women either.. to everyone - but as stated earlier... it's a sad fact that most of these creepy toxic behaviours are perpetrated by men.


How many times have you been sent an unsolicited vag pic with a description of how they want to *** your arsehole from someone who is nothing like what you find attractive? 🤷‍♂️ my count so far is a big fat 0!

Theres no blaming going on here.. just a plea for understanding and help.

[PJ****]

5 minutes ago, PJ3000 said:

Aaah jeez, I think you need to re-read the OP and understand it properly.. The sad fact is that a very high percentile of sexual predators, creepy ass stalkers, unsolicited nude photo senders and grotesque/disrespectful opening message senders are men... I'd estimate it's in the 90% or more range.


I have literally never had any of the above problems in all my time in online interactions with women.. not once (I dont count abusive messages from scammers when they get rumbled). In fact the only abusive message I've received here ever was from a man!! 😂😂


I have never felt physically threatened by a women online or in real life for that matter, even when I've had ex girlfriends be abusive - I never felt in danger...


That is in stark contrast to most women who literally all have online and real life dating horror stories.


It's easy to filter out the dicks if you hardly have to ever deal with them.. and also dont have much concern about running into them in your day to day... a lot of men are waaaaay more creepy and stalkery then women 😂


The OP is about educating people on what a lot of women feel like they have to go through in order to keep themselves safe.. the barriers they put up to stop the weirdos getting through because I'm sure any women will tell you (not just in the kink community) - dealing with the dickheads is tiring and draining and sometimes sickening and scary!

It's not right, not in any sense, it makes everyone's life harder, but that's what a lot of people feel they have to do.

If we work together as a community to stamp out the shitty behaviour then everything gets better for everyone.. but to do that you need to look at the other side and have some empathy and understanding.. and be prepared to stand up and call out obnoxious shitty behaviour whenever you see it. And not just towards women either.. to everyone - but as stated earlier... it's a sad fact that most of these creepy toxic behaviours are perpetrated by men.


How many times have you been sent an unsolicited vag pic with a description of how they want to *** your arsehole from someone who is nothing like what you find attractive? 🤷‍♂️ my count so far is a big fat 0!

Theres no blaming going on here.. just a plea for understanding and help.

I should probably clarify before anyone misunderstand and jumps on this (there seems to be a lot of that in this thread).. I'm not saying 90% of men are predators... I'm saying the vast majority of the predators/creepy weirdos/ unsolicited picture senders and obscene message senders.. are men.. most.. not all.

[Th****]

2 hours ago, PJ3000 said:

I should probably clarify before anyone misunderstand and jumps on this (there seems to be a lot of that in this thread).. I'm not saying 90% of men are predators... I'm saying the vast majority of the predators/creepy weirdos/ unsolicited picture senders and obscene message senders.. are men.. most.. not all.

And I have said the same, and I have said for the women that have been ***d that I understand their caution, but we have to be cautious about creating a blanket blame culture which is uncalled for, which is going to make the genuine guys like myself and others angry to be labelled a predator without justification.

This site is very good at removing the undesired from it, and responding to complaints, and you also have a way to prevent being harassed by the undesired, the lovely block and no thanks buttons.

So the reality of the situation is that yes labeling a male or female a sexual preadtor without justification is going to create an angry response, and that is not what the site owners, and moderators want perpetuated.

We have to be conscious about creating unnecessary toxic discrimination in the community.

Where as the initial topic is an excellent topic you do have to dig further into the whys before generalization of the community.

As a male dominant I hate the fakes and knuckle daggers that patrol these sites looking for the easy mark, this should be about education not blame, or simple you just have to accept the situation. The education behind this is do the research on the person of interest, not accept the all men are sexual preadtors.

[Wo****]

3 minutes ago, TheBodyguard said:

And I have said the same, and I have said for the women that have been ***d that I understand their caution, but we have to be cautious about creating a blanket blame culture which is uncalled for, which is going to make the genuine guys like myself and others angry to be labelled a predator without justification.

This site is very good at removing the undesired from it, and responding to complaints, and you also have a way to prevent being harassed by the undesired, the lovely block and no thanks buttons.

So the reality of the situation is that yes labeling a male or female a sexual preadtor without justification is going to create an angry response, and that is not what the site owners, and moderators want perpetuated.

We have to be conscious about creating unnecessary toxic discrimination in the community.

Where as the initial topic is an excellent topic you do have to dig further into the whys before generalization of the community.

As a male dominant I hate the fakes and knuckle daggers that patrol these sites looking for the easy mark, this should be about education not blame, or simple you just have to accept the situation. The education behind this is do the research on the person of interest, not accept the all men are sexual preadtors.

There is no blanket blame going on. SOME men are predatory.

Nobody is labelling genuine men as predators.

 

Unnecessary toxic discrimination... are you kidding me??

 

No generalization going on, merely raising awareness that SOME men act that way.

 

Education not blame... education for who? The predators? Or the victims??

 

You can research as much as you like. It took me ten years to realise someone I thought I loved was an ***r. 

No one is accepting that all men are predators. You seem to not accept that SOME are.

 

[PJ****]

24 minutes ago, TheBodyguard said:

And I have said the same, and I have said for the women that have been ***d that I understand their caution, but we have to be cautious about creating a blanket blame culture which is uncalled for, which is going to make the genuine guys like myself and others angry to be labelled a predator without justification.

This site is very good at removing the undesired from it, and responding to complaints, and you also have a way to prevent being harassed by the undesired, the lovely block and no thanks buttons.

So the reality of the situation is that yes labeling a male or female a sexual preadtor without justification is going to create an angry response, and that is not what the site owners, and moderators want perpetuated.

We have to be conscious about creating unnecessary toxic discrimination in the community.

Where as the initial topic is an excellent topic you do have to dig further into the whys before generalization of the community.

As a male dominant I hate the fakes and knuckle daggers that patrol these sites looking for the easy mark, this should be about education not blame, or simple you just have to accept the situation. The education behind this is do the research on the person of interest, not accept the all men are sexual preadtors.

Yea but... nobody is doing that... feel free to read every single comment on his thread and find for me where it says all men are predatory 🤷‍♂️ I'll wait..... well no I won't I've got shit to do 😂..


The OP is a response to several threads that appeared recently bemoaning the fact that a lot of women have their guard up quite high They're almost obliged to take the default assumption that whenever a new person messages them, they have a good chance of being abusive, toxic, rude or just downright threatening... because there are so many!!

If most of the birds that flew over your head were to shit on you.. would you carry an umbrella with you constantly or would you just carry on and accept it because some of the birds got offended that you carried an umbrella? 🤷‍♂️

I'd sure as fuck be carrying one 😂

[ey****]

Did you know you can eat raw chicken?

Like go to a supermarket, pick up a chicken out the fridge - not a pre-cooked one, a raw one, and start eating it on the way home.

Of course, there is a risk here of salmonella and other food poisoning bacteria - there is a risk of hospitalisation and even death.

But, the risk is quite small. Because... not all chicken will have the bacteria and so not all chicken will kill you.

So. We take the chicken home.  Put it in the oven (20 minutes per lb, 20 minutes extra) and possibly even stick in a needle thermometer to make sure it's cooked through and then enjoy our chicken.

But not all chicken will make us sick, or kill us.  But we treat all chicken like it does.

Perhaps we should stop treating all chicken like they're poisonous and just eat the fucking chicken?